week 7 Flashcards
being a friend
- give bad advice
- tell you what you want to hear
- shows more sympathy
- enablers
- provide comfort level
- non confidential relationship
being a counselor
- outsiders w/ no personal relationship
- clinical boundaries
- confidentiality
- good for private issues
- provide a plan of action
- time limits and must be paid
psychological benefits of the funeral for the mourner (5)
- funerals confirm the reality of death
- allows for the expression of feelings
- helps kick start change in relationship
- recognition of social support
- a step in defining meaning
counseling defined (4)
- (webster dic) advice given as the result of consultation
- (Edgar Jackson) anytime a person helps someone else with a problem
- (rogers) good communication between people that is always therapeutic
- (ohlsen) a therapeutic experience for reasonably healthy persons to seek assistance before serious disorders develop
types of counseling (3)
- informational
- -specialized information based on specific questions
- situational
- -a specific situation stemming from a crisis or a situation that is producing pain and suffering and adding a way to deal with pain and suffering in a supportive situation
- psychotherapy
- needs met by specialized therapist
- counselor/counselee relationship
- FD counselors yes, therapeutic no
styles of counseling (2)
- directive
- non-directive
counselor takes on speaking role, suggest possibilities and asks questions
-directive counseling
counselor takes a passive role and reflects to the client nonverbally, while always listening and limiting the speaking
-reflection techniques
-rogerian counseling (another name)
non directive counseling
ability to enter into and share the feelings of others; really its the counselors capacity to understand the subjective role of the client and communicate this understanding back to the client
-basic formula ; you feel (certain emotion) because of (given situation)
empathy
- client centered (person centered or rogerian) counseling
- carl rogers
- 3 conditions to keep in mind; 1. empathy 2. congruence 3. unconditional positive regard
person comes actively and voluntarily to gain help on a problem without the notion of surrounding their own responsibility for the situation; a non directive style
- challenged freudian idea that the therapist was the expert
- relationship is the most important factor, not the type of therapy used
characteristics of a helping funeral director (dr. wolfelt) (4)
- empathy ; able to enter into and share another feelings
- warmth and caring; friendly and considerate; done nonverbally through body language
- respect; everyone has the right to make decisions and be different
- genuiness ; ability to present oneself sincerely
barriers to effective funeral director communication (dr. wolfelt) (5)
- funeral director dominance
- bombarding with questions
- ineffective/inappropriate self disclosure
- funeral directors offer platitudes or false reassurances
- discouraging the expression of emotions and tears
- emotional distancing
funeral director responsibilities
- normalizing grieving behavior
- follow up with post funeral counseling
- ID pathology and refer
- provide information for support groups
- teaching people about grief and healthy grieving by sponsoring / presenting educational programs in the community
nonverbal communication to engage client
- soler (pneumonic device for attending behavior)
- sit squarely
- open posture
- leaning (towards other person)
- eye contact
- relax
developing counseling skills for successful funeral service practice
- active listening
- paraphrasing
- reflecting
- clarifying
- leading
- indirect
- direct - questioning
- open ended
- close ended - summarizing
- silence
- unsystematic silence
- deliberate silence
a highly emotional temporary state in which an individuals feelings of anxiety, grief, confusion or pain impair their ability to act
crisis
qualities and characteristics of crisis
- stimulated by outside precipitator
- emotionally hazardous situations
- normal reactions
- individuals appraisals or perceptions of the situations determine both the occurrence and seriousness of the crisis
- potential for primitive coping behaviors to emerge so whatever our default is
ABC method of crisis intervention
- Achieving contact
- boiling down the problem
- coping with the problem
intentional intervention based on the persons inability to function normally because of a crisis situation
crisis counseling
helping people facilitate uncomplicated, or normal grief to a healthy adaptation to the tasks of mourning within a reasonable time frame
grief counseling
specialized techniques that are used to help people with abnormal or complicated grief reactions
grief therapy
wordens 4 goals of treating grief
- increase reality of loss
- helping the other person deal with the pain of the loss
- helping the individual overcome various impediment to making adjustment
- helping person maintain the bond to the deceased while reinvesting with their lives
may be referred to as Compassion fatigue
- a progressive state of physical, emotional, spiritual and mental exhaustion caused by long term involvement in situations or work that is emotionally demanding
- common in the helping professions
- decline in our ability to care
- occurs due to poor boundaries
burnout
symptoms of burnout
- exhaustion
- irritability
- cynical
- detachment
- physical complaints
guidelines for managing funeral director burnout (5)
- physical
- fitness and exercise
- avoiding substances
- diet and nutrition - mental
- self-appreciation
- idealized vs actual self
- answer your “inner critic” - emotional
- id and express feeling
- let go anxiety and anger
- forgiveness - social
- communication
- bonding and trust
- building bridges to others - spirituality
- philosophy of life
- purpose in life
- prayer and higher power
areas posing difficulty for the funeral director
- problematic to feel like we are helping the bereaved
- inherent discomfort in witnessing pain
- awareness of our own loss history
- fear personal losses
- death anxiety
- know our limitations, practice active grieving and seek support when needed
learned emotional response to death which is characterized by extreme apprehension; rooted in our own existential paradox of dying and being unable to stop it
death anxiety
