Week 3 - Close Relationships (2) - "Maintaining Relationships" Flashcards
Bowlby suggested that attachment style originates early in life and shapes relationships…..
From the ‘cradle to the grave’
What is responsiveness?
Attentive and supportive recognition of one person’s needs and interests by another
What are some examples of perceived partner responsiveness?
- Feeling understood
- Feeling valued, respected and validated
- Feeling cared for
What are the benefits of responsiveness?
- Personal outcomes
- Relationship outcomes
Where do perceptions stem from?
- Attachment orientation
- Projection - believing everyone has same belfies and attitudes ad us
How well can we detect partner scarifies?
No - only 50% detected and false alarms
Seeing a partner’s sacrifices boosts what?
Gratitude
Missed sacrifices causes what?
Leaves partner feeling underappreciated after they sacrificed
Feeling grateful benefits what?
- People’s health and happiness
- Quality and longevity of relationships
- Buffers insecurely attached individuals’ relationship satisfaction and commitment
How many conflicts do dating couples have per week?
2.3 conflicts per week
How many ‘memorable differences of opinion’ do married couples have per week?
3-4
How many ‘unpleasant disagreements’ do married couples have?
1-2 a month
It’s not couples having conflicts that matter; what does matter?
How they approach the conflict
What is the theory of the four Horsemen of the Apocalypse?
Conflict patterns that are particularly toxic and predictive of divorce
What are the four horsemen of the apocalypse?
- Criticism
- Contempt
- Defensiveness
- Stonewalling (refusal to respond)
What are transgressions?
Harmful actions by others we trusted and whom we did not expect to misbehave
Why is forgiveness good?
- Helps to repair relationship
- Promotes victims personal well-being
Factors that benefit conflict and forgiveness?
- Commitment - motivation to make it work
- Self-control - ability to act constructively
What does commitment and self control predict?
- Accomodation
- Staying faithful
- Forgiveness
What is self-expansion?
In new relationships, people rapidly expand their sense of self through new experiences with their partner
How to keep the spark alive?
inject novelty/ excitement into the relationship
What did the meta-analysis by Le et al suggests are the four main predictors of break up and divorce?
Commitment
Closeness
Network support
Insecure attachment types
When people were asked what had caused their divorce, what were the top 3 answers?
Infidelity - 222%
Incompatible - 19%
Drinking/ substance abuse - 11%
When people were asked what had caused their divorce, what were the bottom 3 answers?
Don’t know - 3%
Love was lost - 4%
Physical or mental abuse - 6%
