Week 3 - Close Relationships (2) - "Maintaining Relationships"

Question 1

Bowlby suggested that attachment style originates early in life and shapes relationships…..

Answer 1

From the ‘cradle to the grave’

Question 2

What is responsiveness?

Answer 2

Attentive and supportive recognition of one person’s needs and interests by another

Question 3

What are some examples of perceived partner responsiveness?

Answer 3

• Feeling understood
• Feeling valued, respected and validated
• Feeling cared for

Question 4

What are the benefits of responsiveness?

Answer 4

• Personal outcomes
• Relationship outcomes

Question 5

Where do perceptions stem from?

Answer 5

• Attachment orientation
• Projection - believing everyone has same belfies and attitudes ad us

Question 6

How well can we detect partner scarifies?

Answer 6

No - only 50% detected and false alarms

Question 7

Seeing a partner’s sacrifices boosts what?

Answer 7

Gratitude

Question 8

Missed sacrifices causes what?

Answer 8

Leaves partner feeling underappreciated after they sacrificed

Question 9

Feeling grateful benefits what?

Answer 9

• People’s health and happiness
• Quality and longevity of relationships
• Buffers insecurely attached individuals’ relationship satisfaction and commitment

Question 10

How many conflicts do dating couples have per week?

Answer 10

2.3 conflicts per week

Question 11

How many ‘memorable differences of opinion’ do married couples have per week?

Answer 11

3-4

Question 12

How many ‘unpleasant disagreements’ do married couples have?

Answer 12

1-2 a month

Question 13

It’s not couples having conflicts that matter; what does matter?

Answer 13

How they approach the conflict

Question 14

What is the theory of the four Horsemen of the Apocalypse?

Answer 14

Conflict patterns that are particularly toxic and predictive of divorce

Question 15

What are the four horsemen of the apocalypse?

Answer 15

• Criticism
• Contempt
• Defensiveness
• Stonewalling (refusal to respond)

Question 16

What are transgressions?

Answer 16

Harmful actions by others we trusted and whom we did not expect to misbehave

Question 17

Why is forgiveness good?

Answer 17

• Helps to repair relationship
• Promotes victims personal well-being

Question 18

Factors that benefit conflict and forgiveness?

Answer 18

• Commitment - motivation to make it work
• Self-control - ability to act constructively

Question 19

What does commitment and self control predict?

Answer 19

• Accomodation
• Staying faithful
• Forgiveness

Question 20

What is self-expansion?

Answer 20

In new relationships, people rapidly expand their sense of self through new experiences with their partner

Question 21

How to keep the spark alive?

Answer 21

inject novelty/ excitement into the relationship

Question 22

What did the meta-analysis by Le et al suggests are the four main predictors of break up and divorce?

Answer 22

Commitment
Closeness
Network support
Insecure attachment types

Question 23

When people were asked what had caused their divorce, what were the top 3 answers?

Answer 23

Infidelity - 222%
Incompatible - 19%
Drinking/ substance abuse - 11%

Question 24

When people were asked what had caused their divorce, what were the bottom 3 answers?

Answer 24

Don’t know - 3%
Love was lost - 4%
Physical or mental abuse - 6%

Question 25

What risk factors are there for divorce ?

Answer 25

• High socioeconomic status: less likely to divorce
• Race: higher risk for divorce
• Influence of divorce laws
• Working woman: higher divorce rate
• Expensive wedding: higher risk of divorce
• Age: younger than 25, more likely
• Parental divorce: more likely if family members have had a divorce
• Stressful life events, trauma: more likely to divorce

Question 26

How long goes pain go on for after break-up/ divorce?

Answer 26

Average 6 months

Question 27

What influences how much pain your in after a break up?

Answer 27

Depend on attachment

Question 28

Is being single a good predicator of well being?

Answer 28

No - depends if individual wants to be single or not