unit 4 love

Question 1

optimal distance

Answer 1

distance needed in a relationship. it is often found by going past it

Question 2

3 cautions of love

Answer 2

1. love is seldom ever equal
2. the person the least in love has control
3. renegotiation

Question 3

love is seldom ever equal

Answer 3

usually one person is more in love than the other. one person is more in need of the relationship, one breaks it off

Question 4

the person the least in love has control

Answer 4

the more in love one follows the other person to stay in the relationship. the person more in love has more emotions invested in the relationship. power (brutal, decisive) vs love (sentimental, pushover)

Question 5

renegotiation

Answer 5

when the relationship has to renegotiate how to make it work and distribute the love and power

Question 6

4 types of intimacy

Answer 6

physical, intellectual, emotional, spiritual

Question 7

physical

Answer 7

very selective because its based on an idea of biochemical attraction. short lived, very intense, cant base a lot on it, powerful

Question 8

intellectual

Answer 8

are they interesting? respectful? do they challenge me? do they have opinions?
-having a worthy opponent

Question 9

emotional

Answer 9

somebody you can be really honest with who you are, your deep self, someone you dont have to pretend with

Question 10

spiritual

Answer 10

do you have the same values? understanding of life? beliefs?

Question 11

cathexis

Answer 11

cathexis: to cathect
- you want to own it, you want to be committed to it: can cathect objects, people, etc.
- cathexis can be mistaken for love
- most relationships start as cathexis
- can wear off, very temporary
- usually driven by sexual desire

Question 12

dorothy and her friends mother

Answer 12

saw her friends mom praying at her bedside and she had a burst of love, gratitude, and happiness for her and began to pray at her own

Question 13

dorothy and St. augustine’s book

Answer 13

she read “confessions”. she identified with his struggle between human love and love of god. saw parallels in their two conversions from “a life of sin”

Question 14

dorothy and shocking other students

Answer 14

she was defiant, smoked, and spoke foul language at any students who may walk by

Question 15

dorothy’s thoughts on religious people early on

Answer 15

she said only the weak needed religion

Question 16

contradiction dorothy experienced in jail

Answer 16

she asked for a bible and loved it but at the same time she resisted depending on God because it was a sign of weakness

Question 17

dorothy’s bohemian lifestyle

Answer 17

writer by day, hanging out with friends, smoking, discussing books and politics

Question 18

dorothy and relation to “hound of heaven”

Answer 18

resonated with its sentiments and was fascinated by the notion of being pursued by god

Question 19

dorothy’s relationship with lionel moise

Answer 19

moise was a womanizer

• she left her hospital work to move in with him
• he was possessive and jealous
• she became pregnant and got an abortion as he suggested
• he left her and advised her to marry rich

Question 20

dorothy and forester

Answer 20

forester was an anarchist and atheist who loved nature. they moved in different directions, she to god, him away from god. she became pregnant with tamar, a girl. he did not believe marriage. daisy decided to choose god over man

Question 21

peter maurin and dorothy

Answer 21

he was a simple, bright man who served the poor. he taught social teachings and was dedicated to changing society. they founded the catholic worker

Question 22

dorothys disappointment in young catholics

Answer 22

kids were only concerned about their own security and wages while others were homeless

Question 23

verse from matthew and dorothy

Answer 23

“just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me”

Question 24

voluntary poverty and dorothy

Answer 24

she lived simply, wore hand me down clothes, traveled by bus, had few possessions

Question 25

trust in Gods providence and dorothy

Answer 25

she was totally dependent on god

Question 26

“pie in the sky” and dorothy

Answer 26

• she was critical of people who had little ambition for bettering their condition
• opposed patient acceptance of suffering with humility and hope for a better life with god
• said an active fight for justice was necessary

Question 27

“beauty will save the world”

Answer 27

god created so much beauty, shows awe and greatness of god in nature

Question 28

“all the way to heaven is heaven”

Answer 28

heaven is already here, but not totally here. if you are in tune with love, god, and spirit, youre already in heaven. death may be more enhanced

Question 29

“christ chose his friends among the ordinary workers”

Answer 29

he chose regular people, he didnt choose high class people. he has a special place for the common people

Question 30

hell and dorothy

Answer 30

hell is to live without and kind of love

Question 31

“absence of god” and dorothy

Answer 31

the horrible darkness that can come over ones soul, where the soul appears to cease being, the person loves the emptiness and has the want to love but cant

Question 32

“god is the measure by which we will be judged”

Answer 32

we will be judged on how we learned to love or not, not if you memorize your prayers

Question 33

what do we really all want according to dorothy

Answer 33

we all want to be loved by our families, in our work, in our relationships

Question 34

“love casts out fear”

Answer 34

true love is so strong it casts out all fear, even of enemies, and it can be a force so strong it can overcome war

Question 35

why are we “never going to be finished”

Answer 35

there are always going to be needy people. you cant save everyone

Question 36

disillusioned with the church and dorothy

Answer 36

its identification with the wealthy and she criticized the luxurious rectories of the clergy.

Question 37

views on war, pacifism, atomic bomb, hitler and dorothy

Answer 37

she thought you had to learn to love enemies, people thought it was crazy to learn to love hitler. she didnt support any wars. she was very radical

Question 38

parody and “true man” and dorothy

Answer 38

pres truman believed in violence and destruction. the true-man does not believe in weapons and violence. truman is not the “true-man”

Question 39

vietnam war and dorothy

Answer 39

she was appalled at the slaughter of innocent Vietnamese citizens, especially children scorched with napalm

Question 40

loneliness and its solution and dorothy

Answer 40

she fell in love with god in the midst of her loneliness. the solution is love and love comes from community

Question 41

prayer, supreme prayer and dorothy

Answer 41

• saw her work with the poor as a prayer

- the mass was the supreme prayer–one comes closest to god there

Question 42

“dont call me a saint, i dont want to be dismissed so easily” and dorothy

Answer 42

we create saints as perfect people, we turn them into cartoons, we turn them into what we believe in. she knows she made a mistake and isnt pure, she believes she isnt taken seriously when made a saint

Question 43

inscription on dorothys tomb

Answer 43

“deo gratias” thanks be to god

Question 44

ego boundaries

Answer 44

a newborn cannot distinguish itself from crib, its mother, food, etc. the animate and inanimate are the same. there are no boundaries, no separations, no identity

Question 45

anima

Answer 45

yin, female

passive, peaceful, conservative, emotional, cooperative, possessive, subjective

Question 46

animus

Answer 46

yang, male

ego, aggressive, rational, logical, independent, disciplined, hierarchical, violent

Question 47

puer eternis

Answer 47

a man who has never matured

• living in a world of “mommys boy’
• “boy external”

Question 48

pella eternis

Answer 48

• “girl external”
• “daddys girl”
• typically mees an older guy

Question 49

senex

Answer 49

• wants to grow up too fast
• nothing but a dream of being super success ful and overworked
• kills off childhood
• hates youth

Question 50

mystified love

Answer 50

imitating your parents, sleepwalking love

Question 51

john bradshaws 4 stages of love

Answer 51

-codependence, counter dependence, independence, co creation and independence

Question 52

codependence

Answer 52

• like a drug, cant live without each other
• around each other
• last about 2 yrs

Question 53

counterdependence

Answer 53

-not seeing eye to eye anymore, toxic feel, arguments, can survive, good marriages have healthy amounts of counter dependence

Question 54

independence

Answer 54

both separate people support each other in their differences

Question 55

co creation and interdependence

Answer 55

a couple that realizes their love is there to be shared with other people, very advanced type of love. a team that makes the world a better place

Question 56

the 3 brains

Answer 56

reptilian, the limbic brain, neo-cortex

Question 57

reptilian

Answer 57

-instincts and central nervous system, every vertebrae animal has. keeps our heart pumping etc

Question 58

the limbic brain

Answer 58

• encapsulates the reptilian brain, but is another part
• emotions
• can be bio chemical
• certain people are going to make you feel certain things

Question 59

neo cortex

Answer 59

where you remember things, math, history

• where you make decisions, plan
• trying to decide to put things in our lives that make us feel the way we want to feel
• can make you choose people that make you feel a certain way but are bad