the charisma myth practical Flashcards
what is charisma?
set of behaviors everyone can practice and master
what charisma is made of?
1- mindfulness: regarding people with full attention
2-authority: shows they have the ability to influence others and make their lives better
3-goodwill: shows they are likely to treat you well
what is mindfulness? explain
its the secret ingredient, the more mindful you are the more they like you, attention alone is enough to make someone feel connected to you, after all we all seek to be important, still if you talk to someone and act like you care about what they say while having something in mind they will realize that, so you must practice being fully there.
one good trick to be more mindful is focusing on something in your body like breathing.
authority and goodwill, explain?
d3a in the talk is good to show goodwill, authority and goodwill seem like opposites, authority usually always have the power to get what they want they show high confidence, and believe in their authority, but people with goodwill often show caring about their people and so , the balance here is the goal
how to maintain goodwill while exerting authority?
1-set boundries and calmly enforce them, the boundaries show authority but also when you are cool about them you project goodwill, 2-be willing to feel uncomfortable when you sit boundaries,3- seek feedback to make sure you are not too harsh with your boundaries.
how to be more charismatic?
step one: master your mind first, if you can master your emotions you can control yourself and summon the charisma components.
still you cant normally just fake the components you need to be authentic.
what are cabane,s stratigies to master your mind and emotions?
1-reframe your negative thoughts in a positive light, 2-practice mindfulness and compassion, 3-make a habit of confident body language.
explain reframing negative thoughts, and explain the term of cognitive reappraisal?
cognitive reappraisal is changing the way you look at event to make it more positive, as for reframing your negative thoughts, it has the same idea as cognitive reappraisal just here are few strategies like: whenever you find yourself getting anxious or negative, make list of potential upsides no matter how unrealistic they might seem, focusing on positive down play the negative.
the power of visualization: when you are in unproductive state imagination can help you escape it and out perform whatever you in.
explain practicing mindfulness and compassion
intentionally practice mindfulness and compassion, one good techquinqe for mindfulness is to focus on certain sensations of your body like breathe, meditation can make you practice too, when you already finished practicing mindfulness its time to start adding empathy to relate to how others feel this is compassion, compassion is something to gain you just need to imagine their situation and assert on things you do respect.
what is radical acceptance?
its using mindfulness and compassion with others, understand then show that you do feel them.
use body language, explain?
use the body to help the mind is basic, to intentionally do a confident body language is to show that you have confidence in yourself so everyone will believe in that too, standing tall, confident body language, expanding your chest.
what are charismatic conversational skills?
nonverbal communication, thoughtful listening, charismatic speaking
what are nonverbal communication skills?
just like the your talk must be slow and confident, you got to move slow like royalty, the fewer movement the more confidence and authority, moving slowly not only shows that you have more control but also gives your more time to think and make better decisions, and keep your head straight, another thing you also can do is mirroring.
also you can maintain mindful eye contact, practice soft eye contact in the mirror. good advice is 7to 10 seconds in one on one conversation and 3 to 5 seconds in group convo.
what is thoughtful listening
its far more important to be charismatic listener more than charismatic speaker, being genuinely interested in them makes them like you.
how your partner feels when he talks to you is far more important than what you talk about.
the first step in this is practicing mindfulness: some good tips are concentrate on your partner words, don’t interrupt no one likes to be cut mid sentence, pause and think it will show you do care.
how to become interested in others?
the difference between fake and not fake is sincerity, and that is the main way to make people like you, you need to have true emotional drive to learn and empathize with others.
you must also lead the conversation to interesting place.
