Scene 5 - Act 1 (Bathroom)

Question 1

*scene start

Answer 1

So that’s what happened. She walked in, I signed the contract and made a wish (They
look at Jack blankly) Don’t look at me like that.

Question 2

I got home and Elvis popped round for a game of
Monopoly.

Answer 2

I’m serious

Question 3

So you really believe this woman do you?
(Tom and Terry laugh at Jack’s expense)

Answer 3

We’ll just have to see won’t we? Just think of the money, the glamour. Just think of the
girls. Tom, your love life could do with a bit of a kick start.

Question 4

No, no, no. I decided to take Jack’s advice and got myself a date with the lovely Debbie.

Answer 4

You are joking’. You and Debbie?

Question 5

Park up. Back seat. Know what I mean? A non-
stop snogging frenzy.

Answer 5

The only action you’ve ever seen in that car is when you got stopped for running through a
red light.

Question 6

A simple mistake

Answer 6

The red light was on the back of some poor bloke;s bike.

Question 7

So I made that bit up about me and Debs. ‘She’ asked ‘me’ out but I
turned her down flat

Answer 7

Give over. No girl in her right mind would get in a car with you behind the wheel.

Question 8

So that was nice.

Answer 8

Look you two, I got something to talk to you about. (Producing a ring)

Question 9

Ah, ifs a lovely offer, mate but you’re not my type.

Answer 9

It’s for Jane. I’m going to ask her to marry me.

Question 10

When?

Answer 10

Tonight, in here

Question 11

What, in the bogs

Answer 11

No, not in the bogsl Well it’s about time isn’t it? We’ve been together six years. Aren’t you going to wish me good luck?

Question 12

But what about your freedom?

Answer 12

I’m going to ask her to marry me. not chain me to a rock and dump me in the Thames.

Question 13

But I thought you said .. .

Answer 13

Nevermind what I said

Question 14

Come on, how about some tips. Tips on how to pull the birds.

Answer 14

You don’t need my help. I’ve seen the way girls look at you.

Question 15

Like who?

Answer 15

Loads of people, there you are. How about her?

Question 16

She’s looking
at me!

Answer 16

That’s a sign. Now say something .. _ romantic.

Question 17

Here, what’s she doing in the bloke’s bogs? Jack, she’s
laughing at me.

Answer 17

She’s laughing ‘with’ you.

Question 18

I’m not laughing!

Answer 18

Must be something to do with the fact that your flies are still undone then.

Question 19

So how do the birds look at me?

Answer 19

Sort of… like … I’m only kidding;.

Question 20

It’s because I’m ugly, isn’t it?

Answer 20

You’re not ugly_

Question 21

An ugly duck.

Answer 21

An ugly ducky.

Question 22

It can’t be the money, because you haven’t got any.

Answer 22

All right Tom

Question 23

And it can’t be the car because you haven’t got one of those either.

Answer 23

Are you trying to cheer me up?

Question 24

Sorry!

Answer 24

Listen, mate, the best thing to do is be honest with her. You need to set the mood_ A
romantic dinner for two, candlelight… that kind of thing.

Question 25

She’s just not that sort of gir1 …

Answer 25

They’re all that sort of girl when you get them in the right mood.