Relationships/Attraction Flashcards
Fundamental need to belong
- People are motivated to have interpersonal bonds
- They must have long-term nonaversive relationships to be healthy
Maslow’s hierarchy of needs
- Physiological (food, sleep)
- Safety (roof, money)
- Love/belonging (relationships, family)
- Esteem (rewards, congratulations)
- Self-actualization (passion)
basis of need for conneccion
Evolutionarily, we can survive and reproduce.
We help one another.
Heart disease / relationship study
Relationship quality vs mortality rate from CHF. Relationship stress worsened condition, people with mild conditions and bad relationships died as much as those with severe condition
Cold / relationship study
People were given cold bacteria. Those who developed the cold had weaker social networks
Loneliness
Discrepancy between thr level of contact one has and level one desires. Most frequent after moving from home (early adu,thood). Lonelynpeoplenhang out with one another
Predictors of initial attraction
- Similarity/common interests
- Mere exposure
- Mutual friends (comfort/familiarity)
- Attractiveness
- Reciprocity
Westgate housing study
Most friends formed in dorm building, friends w neighbors more likely than people a room apart, more likely than two rooms apart, so on
Science behind mere exposure effect
- Ending up in the same space means you likely have something in common (mcgill psych class)
- Ending up in the same space means you are likely the same demographic (mcgill student age)
Dorian Grey effect
We wrinkle based on how happy or sad we are on average, so couples share emotions and will resemble one another as they grow older
Matching Hypothesis
We tend to end up with others whose attractiveness level is similar to our own
Actual vs Perceived similarity
People assume they have more in common with a potential romantic interest than they really do. Perceived similarity has a stronger effect on attraction
Importance of similarity in attraction
- Smooth interaction: similar attitudes, similar experiences, less conflict.
- We believe them to be more reasonable, agreeable
Pair of Ps experiment (reciprocity)
half participants were told the other individual liked them, half were told the opposite. The ones who believed they were liked acted in a more likeable way
Halo effect
“What is beautiful is good” - people who are attractive seem more trustworthy. (as well as intelligent, well-meaning, honest, interesting, healthy, successful.
Beauty in relationships
- Attractive people have experience dealing with approaches??
- Self fulfilling prophecy
Evo perspective on attraction
- Fertilization in women causes paternity frustration/aggression (is it mine?)
- Less work for men than for women to create child, usually more enjoyable.
- Psychological sex differences follow this
What traits are found attractive
Evo theory says:
- Women want power, manliness, older age, resources
- Men want youth, attractiveness (more likely fertile
Social theory says:
- These stereotypes are less perpetuated in today’s society where gender roles are less pushed
- All of these traits matter to everyone
Misattribution of arrousal
We assume heightened emotions we are feeling should be because of the attraction we feel, even if we are actually scared
People in the bar experiment (misattribution of arousal)
People in a bar were asked how attractive they found other people in this bar. This rating went up throughout the night, especially in the last two hours. People get more desperate to go home with someone? Alcohol?
Bridge vs ground study (2 factor theory of emotion)
Attractive woman gives phone number to some guys on a suspension bridge, and to some guys in a forest. Guys on bridge more likely to call back, they associate heart beating/palm sweatiness with attraction
Theories of close relationships
- Destiny theory: If partners distance one another, they make no effort to repair the rift.
- Growth theory: If partners encounter an issue, they use active coping, planning, positive reinterpreting to fix rift.
Selecting a mate (man vs woman)
- Women: more selective, more of an investment of time and resources (calcium from bones included)
- Men: incentive to stay because they already invested money, safety, vulnerability in order to reproduce
Gender selectiveness experiment
Random guy went around campus asking random girls to sleep with him. none said yes. when roles were reversed, 75% said yes.
