Relationships Flashcards
what are the exchange rule and the relational models theory
exchange rules refer to the set of rules used by partners that define the exchange of rewards and punishments
relational models theory
there are different models that can explain how relationships are governed by different rules of exchange
4 models
communal sharing: according to need of the partner
authority ranking: according to superior giving direct orders to the subordinates
equality matching: based on reciprocity
marketing pricing: based on deserveness and proportional benefits and costs
relationships can have a mixed model (romantic partners: CS + EM)
some relationships can have a different model with the shift of time
why are relationships (close) relationships important
close relationships > social support > wellbeing
having close relationships can improve mortality than other health-related risk behaviours (such as smoking)
less close relationships = higher loneliness
loneliness = negativity arise due to unmet needs for affection and self-validation (can be lonely even if have a lot of friends)
loneliness increases negative health conditions, cognitive decline and impaired executive functioning
Definitions of:
attraction
liking
“beautiful is good” heuristics
similarity-attraction principle
inferred reciprocal attraction
attraction: the desire to start a voluntary relationship with a person
liking: positive evaluation of an object
“beautiful is good” heuristics: people that are physically attractive = perceived to be smarter, kinder…
similarity-attraction principle: we like people that are similar to us
inferred reciprocal attraction: we assume that others with similar interest like us, therefore we act reciprocally and like people that like us
Name the three factors that influence attraction and liking
physical attractiveness
we like those who are physically attractive
“beautiful is good” heuristics
can be self-fulfilling
Synder, Tanke, Berscheid
showed that the expectation of a person can influence the behaviour and stereotype towards the other, and these two elements influence the others to respond with reciprocity, and eventual there are mutual liking
also stereotypes can be enhanced
similarity
we like people that are similar to us (similarity-attraction principle)
why?
there are positive interactions when people share common interest
validate shared beliefs
inferred reciprocal attraction
Positive interactions
proximity
we like people that we frequently interact with
why?
frequent positive interaction leads to liking
proximity increases familiarity (familiarity breeds liking)
mimicry: face-to-face interactions open up opportunities for non-verbal processes that breeds liking
we like people that mimic us unconsciously
What helps the building from a normal relationship to close relationship (self-disclosure), and how does self-disclosure build close relationship
(definition of self-disclosure, why does self-disclosure enhance liking, what are the two things that self-disclosure increases)
self disclosure: revealing information of the self (depth and breadth)
timepoint of self-disclosure matters
can strengthen relationships since
self-disclosure increases liking
increases sense of security
increases behavioural coordination
self-disclosure leads to better interdependence = closer relationship (affective, behavioural and cognitive)
interdependence = the degree of one’s emotions, thoughts, behaviours affect he partner
close relationship = stronger independence, does not have to be positive
What are the three interdependences
affective
increase intimacy, turning from reciprocal relationships to deeper relationships
through increasing acknowledgement, acceptance and positive emotional responses
behavioral
others’ behavioural affecting a person’s behaviour
by shifting the relationship to the communal sharing mode;
Aron experiment
showed that if the target is stranger = the person shares larger proportion to self
there is an expectancy of reciprocal
if the target is best friend, slightly shares more than self can get
does not see a seek of reciprocity
since my friend aligns with the value of me and mine
cognitive
self-concepts overlapping with each other
the closer = the more overlaps (measured by the inclusion of others and self)
what is commitment and love, and the framework used to elaborate
commitment:
long-term orientation towards a relationship, and willing to maintain a long-term emotional bonding
Rusbult’s Investment Model of Commitment
satisfaction - alternatives at hand + investment cost > commitment > probability of persistence
love
started with having free-listing words that relate with love (large variances)
Sternberg’s triangular theory of love
intimacy, commitment, passion
intimacy + commitment = companionate love
intimacy + passion = romantic love
commitment + passion = fatuous love
the best kind of love = consummate love
What should we do to prolong a relationship, and what are the ways to deal with a conflict (accommodation, destructive and constructive accommodation, and how to foster constructive accommodation)
Mentioned by Baxter’s relationship rules
one of which: similarity display (the expressed similarity, not similarity)
managing conflicts
accommodation = the processes that we deal with conflicts/negative emotions from the partner
deconstructive accommodation:
criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling
constructive accommodation
open discussion, patience, forgiveness
active vs passive accommodation styles
fostering constructive accommodation
commitment
idealizing the partner
implicit theories on how the world works
growth predicts constructive accommodation (vs destiny)
incremental predicts active accommodation (vs entity predicts passive accommodations; active destructive accommodation = both similar effects, entity slightly higher)
