reading divorce Flashcards
The “overview information” provided in the conclusion
- Very common family stressor that has pervasive and long-lasting implications for the family system.
- Communication patterns and style of interaction can be changed, but there must be motivation to do so. One of the greatest challenges is to figure out how to harness and preserve the motivation that couples start out with and to help them identify and correct their destructive behaviors while the marriage is still salvageable.
Societal factors
- -Women’s movement in the 60’s and 70s; dramatic increases in women getting college degrees.
- -The economic constraints that women used to face that keep women from getting divorce are no longer there. There is a positive association between women’s employment, income, and probability of divorce. The societal norms that improved women’s welfare and agency removed some of their barriers to leaving an undesirable marriage.
- -Growing emphasis on individualism and self-fulfillment. Today, most people expect to be a means of achieving considerable personal and emotional fulfillment.
- -Cultural attitudes have also changed. People now view divorce as somewhat normative.
- -Changing societal views toward divorce are reflected in reformed divorce laws. No-fault divorce dramatically streamlined the process of getting a divorce.
- -The majority of people don’t feel that unhappily married couples should stay together.
Risk factors
- -There is a negative association between age at marriage and probability of divorce. The younger, the more likely to divorce up to about age 35, after which divorce rates for the first marriages begin to increase.
- -Premarital pregnancy causes hasty marriage that stops the mate-selection process, limiting educational and career opportunities. These stresses play a burden on many marriages.
- -Divorce rates vary by race and ethnicity. Blacks higher than Whites or Hispanics, and Asian and Pacific Islanders less than Whites/Hispanics.
- -Couples with children are slightly less likely to divorce.
- -Premarital cohabitation. Individuals who live together first have fewer traditional views of marriage, are more approving of divorce, etc. The point is that it may not be cohabitation per se that mars a future marriage, but the type of person who cohabits.
- -Parental divorce.
- -Socioeconomic status is inversely related to the probability of divorce.
- -An unrealistic and idealized notion of what marriage entails.
- -Remarriage is a powerful risk factor. Second marriages have a divorce rate at least 10% higher than first marriages.
- -Religion is negatively correlated with divorce, especially when both spouses share the same religion, because most religions discourage divorce.
Two common misconceptions about marital relations and divorce
–Marital dissatisfaction is not a strong predictor of later divorce. For economic, family, moral, or personal reasons, many people who are distressed marriages remain in the relationship.
–Another misconception about marital communication and divorce is that conflicts and disagreements harm marriages and more them toward divorce. It is not the sheer frequency of conflicts that predict divorce, but rather the form these conflicts and disagreements that predispose divorce. The nature of a couple’s interactions better predicts marital outcomes than just the total number of marital problems.
–Also, the odds of divorce were negatively associated with husbands feeling affirmed emotionally by their wives (i.e., she makes him feel good about his ideas, she is caring toward him, she makes him feel good about the kind of person he is.)
What are the stages of “Gottman’s Behavioral Cascade Model of Marital Dissolution?
This research shows that there is a hallmark cascade of corrosive communication behaviors that mark the trajectory toward divorce.
–Criticism: Weaving criticism into their expression of dissatisfaction. They add a degree of insult or blame to their complaints. “You always,” and “You never.”
–Defensiveness: Trying to protect them from criticism and to avoid blame.
–Contempt: Mock or insult their partner. A sign of bitter put down or hatred toward the spouse.
–Stonewalling: “I’m not listening to you,” “You’re not even here.”
If these are not reversed in time, there is a point of no return, after which not much can be done to save the marriage.
What are the stages of “Gottman’s Distance and Isolation Cascade?
-Flooding, perception that marital problems are severe, desire to work problems out individually, the creation of separate lives, loneliness.
What are the effects of positive and negative communication behaviors on divorce and marital satisfaction?
–Early divorces (during first 7 years) result more from the Four Horsemen kinds of negativity because such behaviors are intolerable.
–Later divorces (some time before 14 years) are typically the result of a LACK of positive behaviors.
What is “parentification” and what is its impact on divorced families?
- A sort of role reversal where children assume responsibilities for household tasks and the care of siblings in addition to acting as confidant and provider of emotional support to the parent. All this suggests that the biological parent may be overburdened and unable to fully care for the child.
- Greater parent-child conflict between single mothers and their sons.
What are the “six stations of divorce,” and what happens at each station?
–Emotional divorce. Spouses experience a change in feelings toward their partner. They feel dissatisfied; withdraw from interaction, and experience depression and loneliness.
–Legal divorce. Partners pursue the legal dissolution of their marriage. This brings the issue out into the public, which can be very stressful for those who are struggling with shame or feelings of failure regarding the divorce.
–Economic divorce. Partners must divide up their financial assesses and negotiate things such as alimony, child support, future earnings, spouses’ retirement accounts. This station of divorce has the potential to last for decades.
–Co parental divorce. This is when both physical and legal custody must be negotiated. Children living in a joint-custody arrangement are significantly better adjusted than are children with a sole-custody parent.
–Community divorce. Involves sharing the news of their divorce with their social networks. This stage can sometimes occur earlier on in the flow or later depending upon the social stigma associated with the divorce. Social networks change after a divorce.
–Psychic divorce. This happens with the former spouses reach a state of psychological closure on their divorce. They no longer think of themselves as married and now accept that they are single. This period can take a very long time to happen especially when it was not a mutual breakup.
