Questions and Responses Flashcards
She talks to another guy:
You: “Stop trying to make jealous!” [sarcastic]
You: “Are you cheating on me?”
She touches you in any way
You: “Whoa, are your hands clean?”
She has a similar interest as you:
Her: “I love golf too!”
You: “That’s so cool! Even if I didn’t slightly consider dating you I’d still hang out with you.”
She’s staring at you in the bar:
I know, I know. I look familiar. I’ve heard that one before.
You should talk to me if you’re going to stare at me
Staring contest, Go!
She opens you:
You: “Is that your pickup line?”
You: “Did you come over just to flirt with me?”
Her: “You’re too young for me.” [and she’s also young]
You: “Girls age faster than guys. Models peak at 17 and are past their prime at 19. You’re 21, meaning you’re way over the hill.”
Her: “You’re too young for me.” [and she’s older]
You: “You’re so right, most older women can’t keep up with me but I am a good escort up and down stairs. Let me know when you need me to walk you to your car.” “Well you’re practically a senior citizen. Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m an active guy and I’m not sure that you could handle me with your cane and all. I should introduce you to my grandfather.”
Her: “How tall are you?”
Are you asking an innocent question to find out something naugty about me? (point down).
If she’s tall:
You: “6’2. But my mom’s only 5’2 and she wants me to date shorter girls.”
If she’s short:
You: “6’2. But my mom’s only 5’2, like you, and she always wants me dating shorter girls, so therefore I date tall girls.”
Her: “What nationality are you?”
You: “Native American but don’t be afraid when I act like a savage with you ;) [or whatever you are], but sorry my mom only lets me dates other true red-blooded americans” (she might respond “I am a quarter Native American!” to which you could then get into the boyfriend/girlfriend frame and say “Oh we’re perfect for each other” then to the other friend “Don’t we make a cute couple?” as you hug the original target).
Her: “I like your shirt/pants”
You: “Thank you. But just because you like my shirt/pants doesn’t mean they’re coming off.”
Her: “Where are you from?”
You: “your innermost fantasy”. “Heaven” “Obviously not the trailer park that you’re from” [only if she’s a 9 or 10 and you already have some attraction]. “Kentucky/Owensboro, but you can’t come home with me. My Mom doesn’t like fast women.”
Her: “What do you ultimately want to do?”
You: “Be a stay at home husband. So you better be smart.”
Her: “What do you do?”
You: “Why would I spoil the facebook stalking you’re going to conduct later?”
If she buys you a drink:
You: “Did you put roofies in my drink?” “Did you spit in my drink? No. Ok, no worries, I just wanted to know if we were going to swap spit now or later.” Or “I don’t need beer goggles to find you attractive.”
Her: “You’re not drinking anything tonight?”
You: “No, girls take advantage of me when I drink.”
Her: “I need a drink”
You: “I’ll play you a game for who buys first round.” 5 Question bar bet.
Her: “I have a boyfriend”
You: “I have a math test tonight.” “What?” Oh, I thought we were talking about things we were going to cheat on later.” “Who, me? I mean we just met, but okay.” “And I have a goldfish. So what?”
Her: “How old are you?”
You: “Is age just a number to you or is it right up there with what car I drive?” “I want you to guess. If you’re within 4 years I’ll buy you a drink.”
If she’s singing along to the music:
You: “Who sings this song?”
Her: “……….”
You: “Oh really? You should probably let them sing it.”
She gives you LMR:
You: “You’re right, we should stop. I’d rather you think about this all day tomorrow than getting everything you truly want right now.
She says something you don’t like or opposite your preference:
You [text]: “We are so broken up? I want my CD’s back.”
She bumps into something:
You: “I hope you didn’t hurt the table/chair/my elbow” “Stop thinking about our future, stay with me in the present.”
She gives you serious attitude:
You: “I kind of have a thing for feisty girls – we’re so getting married in Vegas tomorrow.”
She’s unusually young:
You: “Do your parents know where you are?”
She spills a drink:
You: “See this is why we can’t have nice things. We are not buying that new couch you’ve been talking about.”
Universal Shit Test Response
“I have no response to that. Can we be normal now?”
You’re a player.
“Nah, I’m actually a virgin. I’m saving myself for marriage.” “You’re right. I play hockey, and I love it.”
Is that the line you say to every girl?
Yes, I say that to every girl but I should probably stop using it with my cousins.“Yeah, I practiced it on 5,891 girls before you. I wanted to make sure it was just right.” “Wow, you think I’m smooth and popular? I really appreciate that.”
That’s a weird shirt you’re wearing.
Hey, hey, stopping looking at my body, my eyes are up here.
I’m not boring. I’m the coolest person you’ll ever meet. OR another strong complement about herself that says that she’s an alpha female.
“I like that. It either means you’re incredibly cool or incredibly dangerous. I’m not sure which.”
