Part 1: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People Flashcards
What is a fundamental principle in handling people?
Principle 1: Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.
Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself.
Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s pride, hurts his sense of importance (everyone wants to feel important/wanted) and arouses resentment.
Instead of condemning everyone, try to figure out why they are how they are. “To know all is to forgive all”
“I will speak ill of no man… and speak all the good I know of everybody”
Many great leaders stood out because of this principle. Men like Abraham Lincoln made it a point at some point in his life to never criticize anyone.
What is the deepest craving in human nature?
Principle 2: Give honest and sincere appreciation.
There is only one way to make someone do something, which is making them want to do it.
The deepest craving in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.
The best way to develop the best that is in a person is through appreciation and encouragement. – Charles Schwab
Be anxious to praise and loath to find fault.
“Once I did bad and that I heard ever/Twice I did good, but that I heard never”
Let others know you appreciate them or something about them often
There is a major difference between appreciation and flattery.
Don’t just tell someone something small like “You’re doing great” or “Lookin good!”, but tell them HOW they’re doing great, or what about them looks good, etc…
Tell others you appreciated something they did, for example: tell a chef of some restaurant that you really enjoyed his meal. Tell a hotel manager that your room was very well kept… etc.
How can you make someone do something for you?
Principle 3: Arouse in the other person an eager want.
Think about things from other people’s perspective
Put the other person’s wants before your own
Convince this person of how something can benefit them
Arouse in the other person an eager want
