Module 10: Reading Flashcards
Love is a ___ device
commitment
Love as a commitment device:
> romantic love has evolved as a commitment device to keep parents of children together long enough to raise their offspring to sexual maturity.
humans pair-bond because their offspring are very underdeveloped and dependent on their parents to successfully survive until sexual maturity.
from this perspective the reproductive success of humans would not have been possible without “love”.
Pair bonding in mammals is ___ and effects ___ of all mammals:
rare and affects 3%
(A) Universality of romantic love evidence
> Jankowiak & Fischer (1992) found that out 147 of 166 cultures have evidence of romantic love.
1 of the 19 non-love cultures actually denied that love exists. The others were just uninformative.
e.g. romeo and julliet
or hinemoa and tutaniakai
(B) Biological and Behavioural Markers of love
> Fisher (2004) theory off attraction argues that we have three emotional systems (lust, attachment and attraction) which promotes the development and maintenance of romantic relationships.
(A) Lust: motivation to search for sexual partners which are associated with estrogens and androgens.
(B) Attraction: directs an individuals attention towards specific mates and leads to the craving of an emotional union. Is associated with an increase of dopamine, norepinephrine and a reduction in serotonin.
(C) Attachment: the maintenance of close proximity of a loved one, having feelings of comfort and security when with them and being emotionally dependent on them. Is associated with an increase in oxytocin in women and vasopressin for males.
Gonzaga et al. (2001) found that…
Independent raters could identify which couple was more in love because they engaged in more + non-verbal behaviours. For example, nod their heads in agreement and Duchenne smile- spontaneous smiles linked to + emotions and enjoyment.
These non-verbal behaviours which display + affect are correlated with higher levels of oxytocin in the blood (bonding hormone).
Romantic relationships promote reproductive success:
> close relationships are often labelled the most important thing in their life.
married people are happier, have better health, cope better with life stressors and are less likely to experience depression than unmarried people.
pair bonding is linked to lower infant mortality rates, increased social connectedness, later onset of puberty in females and increased adolescent educational achievement.
PB is linked to a reduced risk of STD’s which are a leading cause of infant mortality or fertility issues.
*children raised in a pair bond are generally more likely to survive to the reproductive age and be successful at finding a mate.
Maintaining love in the face of alternatives:
The biggest threat to
romantic love and
commitment is the
presence of attractive
alternatives.
Massive exposure to
attractive alternative
undermines feelings of love.
People in committed
relationships tend to
perceive attractive members
of the opposite sex as less
attractive than single people
(Johnson & Rusbult, 1989).
Lyndon et al. (1999) effect
still present when people
were led to believe that the
attractive alternative mate
was into us.
Miller (1997) found that
people merely paid less
attention to the opposite
sex. We have an automatic
system which shuts down
mate search.Evolutionary explanation for why polygyny is more common than polyandry?
> women can only bear so many offspring, so having multiple husbands does not increase reproductive success.
men are viewed to be wasting resources for raising children that are not theirs.
Objections to the evolutionary perspective:
Objections to the evolutionary perspective:
1. Arranged Marriages:
Would you marry someone
who possesses the
interpersonal and physical
qualities you desire but do
not love?
a. 3.5% of Americans said yes.
b. 50% of Indians and
Pakistan’s said yes.
*collectivist > individualist cultures endorse arranged marriages. It’s common for hunter- gatherer cultures for there being a parental influence in mate selection. Child’s mate criteria tend to match their parents, favor good investment (resource, status etc.) over attractiveness.
2. Polygyny: 84% of Cultures allow for polygyny. Only 5-10% of men in these cultures have more than one wife. It’s illegal in some cultures. Henrich et al. (2012) found that wives in polygyny relationships felt jealousy, their families were more prone to conflict and intimate partner violence and felt competition between other wives for resources.
*evolutionary perspective argues that there was a cultural shift away from polygyny to the interpersonal and social costs that come from men not developing long-term sexual relationships.
Evolutionary explanation for why polygyny is more common than polyandry? women can only bear so many offspring, so having multiple husbands does not increase reproductive success. men are viewed to be wasting resources for raising children that are not theirs.
- Divorce:
Helen Fisher (1992) Divorce rates are on the rise and marriage is on the decline with many choosing cohabitation instead. The average number of years married before divorce is 4 years which is sufficient length of time for children rearing.
But: Most people who are married stay married. An alternative explanation is that romantic love is replaced with non-sexual bonding. Main causes of divorce is extra-marital sex more for men than women as a means to spread their genes or find the best genes for reproduction.
What are the two categories of love?
(A) Passionate Love:
A state of intense longing for union with one another, a feeling that is aroused at the early stages of a romantic relationship.
Aron & Aron (1997) rapid expansion of the self-concept increases feelings of passion as “I” becomes “we”.
is more common at the beginning of the relationship but decreases as the relationship stabilise, routines form and the thrill of trying novel activities with your partner reduces.
(B) Compassionate Love:
Is experienced less intensely than passionate love, combines feelings of intimacy, commitment and deep attachment towards others, for romantic or platonic relationships.
Reis & Shaver (1988) self-disclosure which your partner warmly and sympathetically responds to leads to increases in intimacy.
Links between passionate and compassionate love:
Baumister & Bartslavsky (1999) o proposed that the link between compassionate and passionate love is changes in intimacy. o As intimacy increases passion increases. When intimacy levels remain stable for a long period of time passion decreases.
Hendricks and Hendricks:
o feeling love and being in
love is different.
o link is sexual
attraction/desire.
Lee (1997) Love styles
The maintenance of love and intimacy
(A) Trust (Fehr, 1988)
a. Trust = the degree to which individuals count on their current partners to meet their fundamental needs and facilitate important goals.
b. Trust is dependent on our faith in our partners ability to meet our needs.
c. Not having trust makes people more sensitive to cue about possible rejection or acceptance which can strain a relationship by placing our partners in situations to “test” their love.
(B) Novel experiences with partner (Aron et al. 2000)
a. People who engage in novel and exciting activities with their partner have better relationships because it recreates feelings of thrill and passion that are felt in the early stages of relationships.
b. i.e., building intimacy.
(C) Emotion model (Berscheid, 1983)
a. (+) and (-) emotions are felt when our routines are disrupted. If interruption of routine to do a novel activity than a (+) evaluation is made and self-reports of relationship satisfaction increases.
(D) Capitalization (Gable et al., 2004)
a. Sharing positive news with your partner using self-disclosure and open communication.
b. This allows us to relive the + event and have our partner respond positively which increases our perceptions of our partners responsiveness, intimacy and relationship satisfaction.
(E) Expression of Gratitude (Algoe et al., 2010)
a. Expression of gratitude can be booster shots for a relationship and predicted an increase in relationship satisfaction
Love Styles (Lee, 1997)
Developed a typology of six different love styles.
Primary:
o Eros (erotic love)
o lover who has a fixed ideal image of their partners physical form should conform to.
o Develops strong feelings quickly and prefers rapid self-disclosure to build intimacy.
o Ludus:
o does not have a fixed image of their lovers preferred physical form.
o Prefers not to commit to any one relationship.
o Remains emotionally distant.
o Feels comfortable ending relationships and usually is already forming a second attachment when they end the relationship.
o Storge
o Is a more mature and stable lover.
o Is attracted to individuals who share common interests.
o Are affectionate.
o Are very trusting.
o Not overly needy or dependent.
o Are comfortable with the slow development of sexual intimacy.
Secondary:
o Mania
o Is a combination of eros and ludus.
o Has the desire to act on their intense feelings of love.
o Does not want to emotionally commit to their partner.
o Is characterized by a obsessive preoccupation with their love.
o Has low expectations that the relationship will last.
o Pragma
o Combination of ludus and storge.
o Searches for sensible choice of partner, someone who would make a good friend.
o Hopes love will bloom from friendship.
o Agape
o Is characterized by a sense of duty and self-lessness.
o Love is not governed by feelings of attraction, but by the will.
o It can be given to anyone regardless of their physical appearance.
Passionate Love:
Passionate Love:
A state of intense longing for union with one another, a feeling that is aroused at the early stages of a romantic relationship.
Falling in love heightens excitement associated with trying novel things with a partner.
Is pleasurable to feel special, there is a level of uncertainty about how they feel about us and we obsessively think about them.
Self-Expansion (Aron & Aron, 1997)
o Individuals have a fundamental motivation to grow and expand their sense of self and love is an opportunity for self-expansion and personal growth.
o Self-concepts grow, become more diverse and integrated with our partners self-concept as people fell in love.
o “I” becomes “we”
*rapid expansion of the self-concept enhances feelings of passionate love.
Physical arousal and stress:
o The intense longing associated with passionate love is felt as physical arousal.
o FMRI studies show an increase in the number of neurotransmitters released- oxytocin, vasopressin and dopamine which creates a feeling of elation which triggers a fight or flight stress response (increase in cortisol).
o A physiologically stressful event but we perceive it to be +.
The slow slide into passion:
o Are more common in the early stages of romantic love and generally show a steady decline as stability of the relationship increases, routines are formed and opportunities to experience the thrill of doing novel activities with your partner decreases.
o Decrease in passion generally corresponds with a decrease in sex
