Module 1: Interpersonal Communication Flashcards
Destructive Conflict: What does it do?
Can be devastating. Harming reputations, creates severe stress, & damages performance.
How can you avoid conflict from the get go?
Proactively managing situations and relationships
- With Constructive conflict what is the end goal?🧵
2.With Destructive conflict what is the preliminary goal?🧵
- Resolve
- Prevent
Destructive Conflict: 3 Ways to Prevent
- Set Expectations Early on
a. Let others know how conflict will be
handled
b. Creates a roadmap for everyone to follow - Let Minor Irritations Go
a. Don’t let minor irritations create a source
of major dysfunction.
b. Focus on substance not personalities - Address Problems Early On
a. Regular One-on-One meetings create
open lines of communication
What are the11 steps to actively resolve Destructive Conflict including do’s and don’ts?
- Goal is to create a peaceful ending, even if not everyone is happy with the outcome
- Don’t ignore it- this is an unhealthy response
a. Acknowledging it’s there & taking healthy
steps to resolve = maturity - Invite Folks involved to discuss
a. Communication is the most essential part
of the resolution process - Active Listening skills required to understand each persons perspective
Stephen Covey: “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”
Destructive Conflict: 11 steps
- Stay calm, respectful, and neutral
- First identify where parties are in alignment. This establishes a sense of unity, creating an end goal that resolution is a worthy endeavor
- Be aware of emotions & focus on facts
a. Understanding the feelings beneath the
conflict: Angers underlying issues may be
fear, worthlessness, or embarrassment - Brainstorm solutions
a. Prior to the mtg. do this on your own and
come with possible solutions
Destructive Conflict: 11 steps
- Make Resolution a Priority
a. Goal: Resolving problem and maintaining
relationships
b. Seek a win-win solution where everyone
feels they have achieved a good outcome - Involve Leadership when needed
a. They prefer to see you have taken steps
as a mature professional employee vs.
handholding - Apologize & Forgive
a. Express regret this happened but
express positive attitude about moving
forward
What is Gossip?🧵
A convo about others business that are not present in the convo: Toxic & bonding
Easy way to break the trust of others.
*We want to understand circumstances by gathering info to interpret what is happening around us. It is natural but dangerous
What are the 5 ways of Handling Gossip?
- Don’t Stay Silent
a. Silence implies agreement
b. Listening = Participation - Counter with facts
- Listen for Emotion & address Gossipers underlying feelings
a. Underlying reason for gossip is fear,
worry, or stress - Change the Subject
a. I’d rather talk about my new art project! - Distance Yourself
a. Who I spend time with directly affects my
success!
What is Persuasion?
Persuasion(words through conversation) : convincing someone to do something through reasoning or argument
What is Influence?
Having the capacity to affect the things and people around you. Using your personal power to achieve a desired goal thru cultivating right relationships and establishing credibility.
What is Position Power?
The role or title one holds. Comes from established authority
What is Personal Power?
Gained through confidence and trust of those around you. Earned and developed over time based on who you have proven yourself to be and the relationships you have built.
What are the 5 Levels of Leadership?
Level 1: Position (Rights) People follow you because they have to
Level 2: Permission (Relationships) People follow because they want to
Level 3: Production (Results) People follow you because of what you’ve done for the company
Level 4: Development (Reproduction) People follow because of what you’ve done for them
Level 5: Pinnacle (Respect) People follow because of who you are and what you represent
5 Levels of Leadership- More
Level 1 is the weakest and lowest. You can not be a leader and still attain levels 2-4 which are based on Personal power and Influence. The basis of these is all about creating strong relationships, proven results, helping others develop, and reputation
What is the difference between Formal and Informal Negotiation?
Formal is during a formal setting like a job interview: Salary negotiation. Informal examples would be deadlines and scheduling.
What is Negotiation?
A discussion aimed at reaching an agreement
- You want A and I want B. Let’s negotiate!
-A two-way interaction: Back & Forth
- You must approach the situation with a clear understanding of what you are doing and what you want to achieve.
What are the Best Practices when Negotiating. Cards below give more details.
- Aim for the Win-Win
- Know your Priorities
- Be Specific
- Aim high and give a little
- Bring Proof
- Remain patient, polite, and persistent
What are the Steps to Good Negotiation: 1
- Aim for Win-Win
Steps to Good Negotiation: 2
- Know Your Priorities
Ask the following:
* What do you really want?
* What are you unwilling to sacrifice?
* What are you willing to sacrifice
unconditionally?- What are you willing to sacrifice on the
condition that other requirements are met?- What is the least you are willing to accept?
(worst-case but acceptable scenario) - What point do you walk away?
- If won’t walk away, at what point are you
willing to yield to other party?
- What is the least you are willing to accept?
- What are you willing to sacrifice on the
Steps to Good Negotiation: 3
- Be Specific
Don’t ask for more, give a specific amount
Steps to Good Negotiation: 4
- Aim High & Give a Little
- An offer that doesn’t just satisfy but pleases you. Your first offer should be IDEAL. It may even be accepted!
- Back down slowly from ideal i.e. give a little
Steps to Good Negotiation: 5
Bring Proof
1. ie. if asking for a raise bring evidence of the average wage of others in same position
2. Show value by providing evidence of past accomplishments
3. Hard to argue when facts are given
Steps to Good Negotiation: 5
- Remain Patient, Polite, & Persistent
- Do not want a stalemate where no one will budge
- Women are more apprehensive to negotiate so don’t be afraid to be persistent
- Women who fail to negotiate their salaries at the beginning of their career leave up to 2 million on the table.
- I have the right to personally advocate for myself and my needs in all areas of business
- Always demonstrate professionalism
Why is it important to Voice Opinions, Ideas, and Objections?
Must be a vocal contributor.
1. Keeps you engaged in the workplace and gains you respect and positive attention.
2. Creates success for your superiors and everyone benefits opening the door for advancement etc.
3. Give you a sense of involvement & investment ultimately leading to a fulfilling career
What are the lies that hold people back from expressing themselves?
- Fear of rejection
- Fear of not being heard
- Fear of rocking the boat
- Fear of drawing too much attention to self
Choose the Environment
Be discerning and use your best judgement of where and when to voice your ideas.
Be Tactful and Diplomatic
Use EQ here. Maintain a professional tone and keep your language respectful and neutral. Offer facts that support your POV.
Setting limits: When does it come up and how do you know what they are?
When asked to do something and you have other deadlines etc, you can renegotiate the request made of you.
a. Limits are personal and rely on your
sound judgement
What are the two things you can do immediately when you need to set limits?
- Acknowledge the request: Show you understand what is being asked of you and that you are eager to help in the best way you can.
2nd thing you can do…
- State what you CAN do.
“I’d be happy to handle that for you. I can have it done by Wednesday. Would that be acceptable?”
Depending on the person: “Should this request take precedence over my other deadlines?”
Setting Limits : What is one Do and 4 don’t?
Negotiate if Needed
1. Wait to fully understand what is being asked before negotiating
2. Don’t give lengthy explanations
3. Don’t change your mind
4. Don’t be overly emotional
5. Don’t create more problems
What is Managing Up?
Having the ability to influence someone who has authority over you. Helps them to be more effective and to be of greater value to them. Keeping them on task, on time, and on target.
What are 4 things you can do to Manage Up?
- Meet Regularly with boss. Creates discussion and proactive communication
2 Manage Up?
- Assert & Insert- Be assertive by inserting yourself by not waiting to be told what to do :
-“I can handle this.”
-“Why don’t I take care of this?”
-“Is there something I can take off of your plate?”
3 Manage Up
- Remind of important due dates and events. Instruct on what is important to focus on. Depends on relationship! May need to be subtle in tone.
Also: Never give a problem without offering a solution. Cite reasons as well as options. Can also ask them to help you brainstorm if you can’t find a solution.
4 Manage Up?
- Use EQ. Be very aware of your demeanor and how you are being received. Look for signs of decreased receptivity. Don’t forget your role and place.
Why is Developing Confidence Important?
When I demonstrate confidence, it helps other to be confident in me. If I lack confidence I am telling ppl I am not capable and don’t deserve their respect.
How can Lack of Confidence in the Workplace Influence us Negatively?
- Career Growth- Raises & promotions
- Performance- self-doubt prohibits risk
- Innovation - Creativity gets squashed if you fear ridicule & rejection
- Decision Making- letting others lead can cause them to walk on you or take advantage of you.
- Perceptions- Influence the way people see you and how they treat you.
How can Confidence be Self-fulfilling Prophecy?
Process by which a belief by it’s very existence makes it true.
Cycle: Show Confidence > Reap Positive Affirmation >Feel Confident > Reap Positive Affirmation
If need be: Fake it till you make it!
What are the 3 Elements of Confidence? SUPERHERO
(1)
Capability/Competence- True self-esteem comes from knowing your capabilities and proudly demonstrating them thru your actions. Develop a strong internal appreciation of what you have to offer as a professional
What are the 3 Elements of Confidence? (2)
Self-Presentation:
1. How you dress
2. Eye Contact
3. Body Language
4. Posture
5. Handshake
6. Facial Expression