Love Languages Flashcards
Who created love languages?
Dr Gary Chapman early in his counselling career.
He recognized people felt like they weren’t loved because they didn’t see people actions or words as love because it didn’t register with them.
Words of affirmation?
-Need encouraging words, words meant to inspire courage. Needs to show that you know the areas they struggle with and address those areas in a way that inspires them to be brave.
-Kind words matter. Tone is registered first, so make sure the tone matches the words.
-Words should be given humbly and should be requests not demands. Requests affirm their abilities but demands show you are more important than them.
-Let them know you speak well about them when they aren’t present
Quality time?
Feels loved when one is present with them and gives them full undivided attention.
Activity doesn’t matter, togetherness is what they crave.
Being there without distractions or multi tasking makes them feel valued.
Distractions, cancelled plans, and interruptions harm this person.
May eye contact during conversation, observe body language, and don’t interrupt.
Gifts?
Universal expression of care that can be understood through cultural barriers.
Feel loved when they receive gifts
Not materialistic and not expensive. Could be purchased, found or made.
The fact that someone took the time of think of them and picked something meaningful impacts this person.
Being there for someone could be the gift
An object without effort or thought doesn’t make them feel important.
Acts of service?
Feel loved when people do stuff for them
little things like helping with a chore. making dinner, laundry, etc.
The idea of someone thinking and carrying out actions for them matters to them
Must be done without the expectation of something in return.
Act must be something you know will be appreciated by the recipent.
Physical touch?
A fundamental expression of love and meets an essential biological need within each of us
One who receives in this manner feels loved and cared for when someone is physically present and accessible.
Touch is appropriate touch and is not only an adult relationship type of touch. A light touch on the shoulder, arm or back can communicate care and concern for a friend. High fives, fist bumps and shaking hands can communicate to young students.
• People who give and receive in this language tend to be touchy people; you will often find them making contact with the people they are speaking to as a natural part of conversation.
• For people who receive in this manner, having touch extended in stressful, critical times is extremely important to them.
