Loss and the Family Flashcards
How does a family system’s approach view the death of a family member?
Loss can be viewed as a transactional process involving the dying and deceased with the survivors in a shared life cycle that acknowledges both the finality of death and the continuity of life.
At a traditional Chinese funeral in Hong Kong, what three things do mourners receive as they are leaving?
They are each given an envelope containing three items: a white washcloth to wipe away tears, candy to remind the bereaved of the sweetness of life, and a coin, as a symbolic token of the ancient custom of reimbursing mourners for travel to the funeral so that they wouldn’t suffer further loss.
What two occurrences in our recent history has augmented our recognition for the importance of dealing with death and loss?
The growing AIDS epidemic and 9/11
Describe other losses that we encounter in our lifetimes besides death.
Migration and job loss, separation and divorce, adoption and foster care, and serious illness and disability
Murray Bowen, a family systems psychotherapist, wrote a paper on loss and talked about death as the most taboo subject for people. What did he feel was important for a therapist to observe and assess in the family in order for healing to occur?
Therapists need to assess the total family configuration, the functioning position of the dying or deceased member, and the family’s overall level of adaptation in order to understand the meaning and context of presenting symptoms and to facilitate a healing process.
What did Norman Paul, another family systems psychotherapist, propose happens when grief at the loss of a significant person goes unrecognized or unaddressed?
It may precipitate strong and harmful reactions in other relationships, extramarital affairs, and even sexual abuse.
What are some of the innovative methods that Paul used to bring blocked grief to the surface in his clients?
He often used trigger stimuli, such as poems, letters, and film clips, and he developed innovative methods, such as having clients view split-screen video images of themselves and a deceased loved one.
A death in the family involves multiple losses. What are they?
There is a loss of the person, a loss of roles and relationships, the loss of the intact family unit, and the loss of hopes and dreams for all that might have been.
What does adaptation and resiliency in relation to a loss really mean?
Adaptation and resiliency involves active coping, struggling well, and forging strengths to meet the many challenges that unfold over time.
Describe the four major family tasks that promote immediate and long-term adaptation for family members:
a) Shared acknowledgement of the reality of death
b) Shared experience of the loss
c) Reorganization of the family system
d) Reinvestment in other relationships and life pursuits
a) All family members, in their own ways, must confront the reality of a death
b) Sharing the experience of loss, in whatever ways family members can (funeral rites and visits to the grave), is crucial in the healing process
c) The process of recovery involves a realignment of relationships and redistribution of role functions needed to compensate for the loss, buffer transitional stresses, and carry on with family life
d) Family members may not be ready to reinvest themselves in relationships soon after a loved one’s death.
Describe the various issues that surface with the following occurrences of death:
a) Sudden or lingering death
b) Ambiguous loss
c) Violent death
d) Suicide
a) Sudden death: lack of time to anticipate and prepare for the loss, to deal with unfinished business, or in many cases even to say their good-byes. Shock and intense emotions, as well as disorganization, confusion, and a sense of chaos. Lingering death: Family caregiving and financial resources can be depleted; relief at ending patient suffering and family strain is likely to be guilt-laden.
b) Often produces depression and conflict. A loved one may be physically absent but psychologically present (soldiers or civilians missing in war or terrorist attacks), or physically present but psychologically “dead” (an elderly person battling Alzheimer’s).
c) It can be devastating. Whether the death resulted from a car crash, a mutilating fatal accident, a murder, or a major disaster, it can significantly impact the family and cause trauma and impact their family relationships for years to come.
d) Suicides are the most difficult deaths for families to come to terms with. Clinicians need to help family members with anger and guilt, which can corrode their relationships, particularly when they are blamed or blame themselves for the death.
Where do beliefs about death come from?
Beliefs about death and the meanings surrounding a particular loss are rooted in multigenerational family legacies, in ethnic and religious beliefs, and in the dominant societal values and practices.
How was Mothers Against Drunk Drivers started?
A mother whose daughter was killed by a reckless driver said she knew her daughter wouldn’t want her to be consumed by grief, so she started Mothers Against Drunk Drivers to honor her daughter’s life.
What does research show about deep faith and prayer?
Research has found evidence of the positive psychological effects of deep faith, prayer, and congregational support.
What roles do flexibility and family connectedness play in resiliency of loss?
Adaptation to loss is facilitated when family connectedness, or cohesion, enables mutual support and yet is balanced by tolerance and respect for individual differences in response to loss.
