Liking, Loving, Connections

Question 1

Affiliation
- Does this differ between individuals?
- How do stressful situations impact? Why?

Answer 1

Desire to establish social contact w/ others
- Yes
- Motivates us to affiliate w/ others w/ similar threat; To gain info on the unknown

Question 2

What are extremely shy people at risk for?

Answer 2

Loneliness, feeling of isolation, social deprivation
- Can lead to unrewarding interactions w/ others too

Question 3

Attraction
We like people whose behaviour provides us with…?

Answer 3

Any force that draws ppl together

Maximum reward at minimum cost

Question 4

What are the 5 factors that predict liking?

Answer 4

Familiarity
Similarity
Personal attributes
Reciprocity
Paradox of choice

Question 5

Proximity effect
Exposure effect

(Familiarity, liking)

Answer 5

Ppl most likely to form friendships w/ people near them
- Makes it more likely that we’ll have repeated exposure to them, making them more likeable and attractive

More often ppl see a stimulus, the stronger their attitude towards it is

Question 6

Similarity

(Liking)

Answer 6

Ppl tend to associate w/ others who are similar in their demographic backgrounds, attitudes, and interests
- Provides validation for our own beliefs

Question 7

Competence; Pratfall effect
Physical attractiveness

(Personal attitudes, liking)

Answer 7

Being close to competent ppl is rewarding
- But we will feel incompetent and inadequate in areas that matter to us, lowering their attractiveness
- Pratfall: High degree of competence w/ fallibility increases attractiveness more than just being perfect

All genders are attracted to attractive ppl an equal amouuunt
- Hardwired evolutionary response to tell who’s healthy
- But can cause halo effect where we think attractive people can’t do anything bad

Question 8

Pratfall experiment:
- 4 confederates viewed in interview (competent, average, competent + blunder, average + blunder)
- Which one did participants find more likeable?

Answer 8

Competent + blunder
- But competent was second

Question 9

Objective beauty
- Averaged features vs Symmetry
Subjective beauty

(Personal attributes, liking)

Answer 9

Common traits associated w/ attractiveness:
Averaged: Features aren’t far from avg in a culture
Symmetry: Paired features on right and left mirror each other

Beauty depends in perception; influenced by culture, time, and context

Question 10

2 reasons for bias towards beauty

(Physical attributes; liking)

Answer 10

1) It’s rewarding to be in the company of others who’re attractive

2) Ppl associate beauty w/ other positive qualities (what-is-beautiful-is-good stereotype or halo effect)

Question 11

Reciprocity
- Diff between insecure and secure ppl

(Liking)

Answer 11

Tendency to like others who like us

Insecure: Will accept almost anyone who expresses interest; can even seek out less attractive person to diminish possibility of being rejected
Secure: More selective

Question 12

Paradox of choice

(Liking)

Answer 12

Abundance of choices leads ppl being less happy w/ the choices they finally make (even if choice matches what they want/need)

Question 13

Effect of praise and favours
Gain-loss theory of attraction
- What condition is necessary

Answer 13

We tend to like ppl who compliment and do favours for us

Increase in positive, rewarding behav from another person has more impact than constantly rewarding behav
- We’ll also dislike someone whose esteem for us decreases over time more than ppl who have always disliked us
- An integrated, gradual sequence implying a true change of heart

Question 14

Exchange vs Communal relationships

Answer 14

Exchange: Ppl involved are concerned about reciprocity and making sure some sort of equity is achieved

Communal: Neither partner is keeping score; person inclined to give in response to other’s need and will readily receive the same kind of care
- Usually in more closer and intimate relationships

Question 15

Sternberg’s triangular theory of love:
Intimacy
Passion
Commitment

Answer 15

Intimacy: Emotional component
- Liking + feelings of closeness

Passion: Motivational component
- Drives for attraction, romance, sexual desire

Commitment: Cognitive component
- Decision to long term commitment

Question 16

Passionate vs Companionate love
- Excitation transfer

Answer 16

Passionate:
- Sparked by physio arousal
- Intense emotions, exhilaration, unquenchable sexual desire, intense preoccupation which we attribute to be caused by the loved person
- Excitation transfer: Attributing the reaction to the stimulus even though it didn’t actually cause it

Companionate:
- Less intense but deeper, more enduring, stable
- Mutual trust, caring, friendship, commitment, dependability, warmth
- Encourages willingness to share intimate facts and feelings (self-disclosure)

Question 17

Porcupine’s dilemma
Authenticity

Answer 17

Desire to achieve deep intimacy while remaining invulnerable to hurt

Freedom to share your true feelings and beliefs (including negative ones) w/ your oartner

Question 18

4 destructive forms of communication:
Hostile criticism
Defensiveness
Contempt
Stonewalling

Answer 18

Hostile criticism:
- Blaming each other, causing no side to feel heard or validated

Defensiveness:
- Responding to criticism w/ counter-complaint instead of addressing the concern

Contempt:
- Mocking partner and derogating them

Stonewalling:
- Withdrawing and refusing to listen or even stay in the same room

Question 19

3 forms of adaptive communication:
Straight talk
Immediate feedback
Feelings vs Judgments

Answer 19

Straight talk:
- Clear statement of their feelings/concerns w/out accusing, blaming, judging, or ridiculing the other person
- Allows situational attribution instead of dispositional attribution

Immediate feedback:
- Immediate feedback on how our words and behavs are interpreted, which can help ppl discover something about themselves
- Also prevents escalation

Feelings vs Judgment:
- Willingness to express feelings rather than judgments important
- Minimizes pain and maximizes recipient’s ability to understand the complaint
- Ppl often unaware of how to provide constructive feedback, resulting in upsetting the recipient