Life Calling Ch. 7 Quiz Flashcards
âIt is very important to understand that emotional intelligence is not the opposite of intelligence, it is not the triumph of heart over headâit is the unique intersection of both.â
David Caruso
an area or range of personal distinctness characterized by specific qualities
Domain
that part of the consciousness that involves feeling and the capacity to detect and respond to sensory stimuli
emotion
the capacity of our lives that enables us to correctly experience and use feelings and sensibility
emotional strengths
the totality of surrounding things, conditions, or in influences
environment
non-rational, internal sensation not connected with sight, hearing, taste, smell, or what is classically correlated to touch
feeling
responsiveness or susceptibility to sensory stimuli
sensibility
qualities or features that bring power, force, vigor, or sustenance
strengths
the two psychologists
- John Mayer, a psychologist at the University of New Hampshire
- Peter Salovey, a psychologist at Yale University
Basis for emotional intelligence
- Identify and express emotions
- Use or generate emotions
- understand emotions
- manage emotions
Identify and express emotions
(a) being aware of emotional clues in yourself and in people around you
(b) being able to discern between different types of emotion
(c) being able to identify the level of intensity to which the emotion is present
(d) being able to identify what these emotional clues mean
A blueprint for emotions
- Identify: what emotions are you experiencing?
- Use: how are these emotions directed and impacting thinking?
- Understand: what causes these emotions? how might these emotions change?
- Manage: how do you manage your emotions and othersâ emotions?
âIf any of you think you are something when you are nothing, you deceive your- selves. Each of you should test your own actions. en you can take pride in yourself, without comparing yourself to somebody else, for each of you should carry your own load.â
Galatians 6:3-5
ââAm I a dog, that you come at me with sticks?â And the Philistine cursed David by his gods. âCome here,â he said, âand Iâll give your flesh to the birds and the wild animals!ââ
1 Samuel 17:43-44
âImmediately Jesus knew in his spirit that this was what they were thinking in their heartsâŚâ
Mark 2:8
âWhy does your face look so sad when you are not ill? is can be nothing but sadness of heartâ
Nehemiah 2:2
Identifying emotions (skilled and unskilled)
Skilled: -Knows what people feel -Will talk about feelings -Comfortable showing how they feel -Expresses both positive and negative feelings -Reads people accurately -Good at recognizing own feelings Unskilled: -Misreads people's feelings -Doesn't talk about feelings -Never shows feelings -Does not know how to express feelings -Fails to identify how others feel -Misunderstands own feelings
Using emotions (skilled and unskilled)
Skilled:
-Uses emotions to be creative
-Inspires people
-Focuses on whatâs important when emotions are strong
-Emotions improve their thinking
-Can feel what others are feeling (empathy)
-Feelings help to inform and change beliefs
Unskilled:
-Purely practical, logical, and concrete
-Doesnât motivate others
-Forgets whatâs important when upset
-Feelings are flat or distracting
-Emotions are selfâabsorbed and not influenced by othersâ feelings
-Doesnât know how feelings influence thinking
Understanding emotions (skilled and unskilled)
Skilled:
-Makes correct assumptions about people
-Knows the right thing to say
-Makes good predictions about what people may feel
-Has a sophisticated emotional vocabulary
-Understands that one can experience mixed conflicted feelings
-Has vast emotional knowledge
Unskilled:
-Misunderstands people
-Says things to upset people
-Is surprised by how people feel and behave
-Finds it hard to explain feelings
-Experiences onâorâoff emotions, with few shades of gray
-Has only a basic understanding of emotions
Managing emotions (skilled and unskilled)
Skilled:
-Emotions focus attention, inform decision making, and energize adaptive behavior
-Can âpsych up,â calm down, or maintain a mood as desirable
-Can cheer others up, calm them down, or manage othersâ feelings appropriately
-Is open to oneâs feelings and the feelings of others
-Leads a rich emotional life
Unskilled:
-Emotions are distracting and derail adaptive behavior
-Is a slave to passions and acts impulsively
-Has no intentional impact on othersâ feelings, has unintentional impact on othersâ feelings
-Shuts off feelings and represses them
-Leads an emotionally impoverished life
Who talked about the last 30-40 years having a rise in individualism?
Seligman
Intra-personal
1) self-awareness
2) self-management
Inter-personal
1) social-awareness
2) relationship-awareness
Optimist responds to failure:
1) Interpersonal (outside):
2) Intrapersonal (inside):
1) view the situation as something that can be changed (is in their control)
2) view the situation as an opportunity to grow (pure joy)
Pessimist responds to failure:
1) Interpersonal:
2) Intrapersonal:
1) they find who to blame (outside of their control, they view it as canât be changed)
2) view failure as a personal defeat that canât be corrected (not healthy)
Internal locus of control
inside your control
external locus of control
outside of your control
Emotional Literacy starts withâŚ
your family
5 Base Skills:
1) learn how you feel about yourself
2) how others react to your feelings
3) how to think about your feelings
4) choices we have in reacting to our feelings
5) how to read and express hopes and fears
Positive Attributes in Social Interaction:
1) speak directly when spoken to
2) initiate social contact
3) donât wait for someone else to initiate social contact
4) carry on a conversation
5) donât fall back on one-word yes/no answers
6) express gratitude
7) let another walk through the door first
8) lets others be served before serving oneself
9) say thank you
10) say please
11) share
Negative Attributes in Social Interaction:
1) they donât know how to have a conversation (donât know how to end it/keep talking)
2) they are completely oblivious to all clues/cues to say goodbye
3) conversation always go back to them
4) not interested in what others have to say
5) ignore clues/cues to refocus another topic
6) Intrude/ask nosy questions
7) stands to close while talking
8) spread your belongings into others space
9) interpreting or using body language poorly
10) misinterpreting/misreading facial expressions (culture clash)
11) poor sense of emotional speech
Are you prepared to learn?
- keeping distress from swamping your ability to think
- delayed gratification
- control impulse
- motivate oneself
7 key things you are ready to learn:
1) confidence - self-assure (not arrogance, humility)
2) curiosity - interested
3) intentionally - being aware of the expected behavior
4) self-control - reign in the impulse to misbehavior
5) patience - being able to wait
6) capacity to communicate - express what you need while getting along with others
7) Co-operativeness - turn to others for assistance
Action things you can do:
1) manage your time
2) set S.M.A.R.T. goals
1) manage your time
- be proactive
- audit your time
- establish your priorities
- set S.M.A.R.T. goals
- create a workable schedule
2) set S.M.A.R.T. goals
- Specific
- Measurable
- Achievable
- Relevant
- Time-framed
Emotional Tragedies (crisis)
- anger (opiates)
- anxiety (alcohol)
- depression (narcotic)
Bullying
1) moment of peril
2) being rejected is universal
3) person who is at a higher risk of bullying, has been rejected MORE
OFTEN (3 reasons)
1) try to change the subject too abruptly, too soon
2) try to change the subject in support of their opinion
3) simply disagree with others right away
