Let go of outcomes

Question 1

The world you live in is a reality you’ve constructed. When you change, the universe has no choice but to change in accordance with the person you’ve become.

Answer 1

Be very specific about the values and visions and goals you want to seek.

Enumerate what values are part of you and what dream job you would allow into your life.

Become explicit about how it would benefit the larger society. Concentrate on becoming the person with the qualities that you envision.

Question 2

With time, try to replace frantic doing with calm being.

Answer 2

Keep practicing the exercises in this book and keep careful track of your successes.

Ignore your failures.

Question 3

One law of the universe is that people will act in their own self interest.

Accept that.

Even when you are genuinely moved by compassion or love or sympathy it does not take long for the “I’s” and “me” is to creep back in.

Answer 3

All of the stress in your life results directly from your fixed notion of how the universe should behave and from your inability to accept the merry diversions that the universe takes from your agenda.

Question 4

Accept these merry diversions.

Don’t try to force people to behave in ways that are compatible with your notions. Accept them.

Answer 4

Change the way you react to frustrations.

Don’t punish yourself by being uptight, anxious, irritable or depressed.

You punish those close to you by snapping at them, by being emotionally withdrawn, not spending time with them and being generally unhappy. It is a toxic cocktail.

Question 5

The problem is not having expectations. The problem is with what you do when your expectations are not met.

How do you react when what you want does not happen ?

Answer 5

You have virtually no control over the outcome of your actions.

Question 6

The only way you can prevent toxic feelings from being generated is to accept whatever outcome actually occurs.

Answer 6

Cheerfully embrace the outcomes.

This does not mean that you compromise your values or give in to your enemies.

But it sets you up to react to the outcomes better and take more effective subsequent actions.

Question 7

Don’t label outcomes. Good things, bad things, – – who knows?

Answer 7

That’s the way it goes – – this is highly relevant to you. Stop right now and think about it – – can you look at something that is bothering you in your life and see how it could be a good thing or a bad thing?

Can you acknowledge that you just don’t know?

Question 8

Considering the model that you were never given a lemon – – you were given the opportunity to make a double dip Sunday that causes you to lose weight!

Answer 8

Eliminate stress by surrendering. When you are less attached or sure of the importance of certain outcomes, you are less emotionally bound to results beyond your control.

Question 9

Surrender your agenda for what happens. Give up predetermined expectations.

Surrender to the possibility that these outcomes can be either good or bad and that you just don’t now.

Answer 9

If you do you will be stronger and freer to capitalize on what does occur.

Question 10

Have a clear understanding of what you’d like to accomplish.

Answer 10

Wish that all outcomes be beneficial to all parties involved. Actively and sincerely wish that there are no losers.

Question 11

Recognize that your way is just one of the many possible outcomes, and it may not be the best.

Answer 11

Detach yourself from the outcome. Surrender to the universe. Welcome the results wholeheartedly and your perspective on them will be transformed.

Question 12

Your actions are within your control. Not entirely, but to a large extent. The outcomes for not.

Answer 12

Reactions to the outcome however, are within your power – – but only if you reach out and exert control that you have. And this takes practice, repeated practice

Question 13

Think about how others will be affected if you succeed. Wish them all a perfect outcome.

Answer 13

Wish the best outcome for others. Mentally and sincerely wish them all the best wishes for each that is perfect for them.

To the extent you can, make sure what you were trying to accomplish is the best for all concerned in the complex trade-off of life.

Question 14

When you let go of anxiety about the outcome, you will be amazed by how frequently you accomplish what you set out to do and how much more effective you become.

Answer 14

When you constantly act in that manner, you will discover another marvelous result – – you will enjoy what you were doing far more.

When you let go of attachment to the outcome, you have more emotional energy to focus on your actions.

Question 15

The more sincerely you wish others well, and try to help them, the more aid you will receive from unexpected sources when you most need it and least expect it.

Answer 15

Simply acknowledge what has happened and that it is not what you wanted or set out to do. Instead try to see that the universe has spoken clearly, saying this is not the way. Do not compound the results and make your situation worse by feeling angry, or hurt, or dejected. Note the outcome dispassionately – – like a tennis umpire making a line call

Question 16

Once you have successfully detach yourself from an undesired result, let the experience become a new starting point for you

Answer 16

You will be able to think much more clearly about the situation, because you will not have any emotional attachment to any particular outcome clouding your mind and interfering with your efficiency.

Acceptance does not mean giving up. It means you recognize that you did not achieve chief what you set out to do, and you do this without any kind of emotional trauma. You do this without beating yourself up, as you probably do right now.

Question 17

With practice, it will soon seem as if the universe is collaborating with you instead of thwarting you at every turn. And it is. It is as if the two of you are locked together in an elaborate tango, and you are. This knowledge is exhilarating beyond belief.

Answer 17

With time, the number of instances will grow, and you will gain confidence that more of it can happen. Persist patiently. You cannot fail.

Question 18

For one week try to live in and other centered universe. During your selected times, do you all things for the sole benefit of the person with whom you interact. Focus on what the person is saying and feeling and think only of how you can be of service to that person if possible, be of service anonymously or to strangers, that’s taking the I and me out of the picture entirely. Think of how you can be of service to people that you know well and to people you barely know, to society at large.

Answer 18

Each day, deliberately and consciously, do more than one thing to make the world a little better.

Question 19

Be grateful for having the opportunity to help.

Answer 19

Spread sweetness and light, give specific help to specific people. Even a card with a thoughtful note can suffice.

Question 20

If you help someone do not expect gratitude from that person. Instead you should be grateful to that person for providing the opportunity to be of service.

Answer 20

Don’t resent people for not acknowledging how much do you have help them. Instead, be grateful for having had the opportunity to help.

Question 21

Each day make someone’s day.

Answer 21

Deliberately go out on a mission to make someone’s day brighter. Do it – – do it at least once every day.

Question 22

Find your joy in what you do not from the results you get.

Answer 22

It’s not what you do, it’s who you are.

Question 23

Write down the results of this exercise in your journal. Flip through earlier entries – – you will be pleasantly surprised by how much your life is already changed and the progress you have made in creating an alternate reality for yourself.

Answer 23

Keep going. Now is no time to stop!

Book idea – – Alex Osborn – – applied imagination