Interpersonal relationships Flashcards
Emotional Intelligence
(Daniel Goleman, psychologist from Harvard) • Being Self Aware • Managing emotions • Motivating yourself • Recognizing emotions in others • Handling relationships
Personal Motivation for Interpersonal Contact: Why are we attracted = Attractiveness
Physical and others
Personal Motivation for Interpersonal Contact: Why are we attracted = Perceived Gain
You may like or be attracted to someone because they have what you want, like money or belongings
Personal Motivation for Interpersonal Contact: Why are we attracted = Similarities
Attracted to someone that similar to you
Personal Motivation for Interpersonal Contact: Why are we attracted = Differences
They have hobbies or qualities that are different from you, Opposites attract.
Personal Motivation for Interpersonal Contact: Why are we attracted = Proximity
More likely to be attracted to someone who is geologically close to you
Motives for Inter Personal communication: Pleasurable
People need pleasure, It feels good to do something with someone
Motives for Inter Personal communication: Affection
We all need affection or else we will die, Can be Someone that says good to see you or handshake and hug
Motives for Inter Personal communication: Inclusion
Be included is a human need, we need to feel included or wanted
Motives for Inter Personal communication: Escape
I don’t have to study for my exam because I have the excuse of a date.
- gives a reasons not to do something, gives you a reason to escape
Motives for Inter Personal communication: Health
Communication is good for our health, has been proven to make you live longer with connections to people)
= people who are single have shorter lives, Its healthy to have people around.
Motives for Inter Personal communication: Control
All people need control,
- 2 things that lead to problems with relationships is a pathological need for control and low self-esteem. Sometimes clingy people have a need for control.
Small Talk: Bid and Bidding
Bids toward people like “hey let’s go get some coffee” or you say “hey do you want to come over and study”
How to encourage bids and bidding both behaviorally and emotionally
Not being defensive, provide gratitude, praise others focus on others positive vibe when interacting with others all encourage bids and allows people to make a connection
Small Talk: Self Disclosure
No relationship goes to the next level of intimacy without self-disclosure, we are afraid to do this because when we self disclose we set ourselves up to be vulnerable.
Essentials of good relationships
conversational focus, being concerned about someone else, good empathy, providing emotional support.
Motives for Inter Personal communication: Relaxation
interactions with other people can cause you to relax and forget about the other noises in your life.
Bids and the Bidding process:
- A bid is a question, Like Hello how are you or any question (or bid) that requires a response.
- Focus on the people around you = talk to people that you know and are comfortable around. Look to familiar faces
- Set a positive tone in conversation = be positive and act positively
- Avoid harmful criticism
- Avoid becoming physically or emotionally overwhelmed = if your not feeling it leave, don’t put yourself in places where you feel overwhelmed
- Create a climate of praise and gratitude = give other people praise because they will want you around.
- Self disclose and connect = something that you generally don’t tell other people will create a connection. When you self disclose something to someone you fear about exposing something close to you, if I disclose something you trust that person.
Essentials of good relationships: Verbal Skills
Are very important Being able to relay what you want to say with your verbal skills
Essentials of good relationships: Emotional expressiveness
Express how you’re feeling with emotions, Ex. You can recognize someone like a parent when their feeling certain emotion
Essentials of good relationships: Conversational focus
Sitting down and having a face to face conversation with someone without electronic devices in font of you. Building a conversation rapport with someone face to fac
Essentials of good relationships: Nonverbal analysis
You know what is not being said, Ex someone says there fine, but you know they are not ok.
Essentials of good relationships: Conversational encouragement
Shut up when someone else is talking, let them speak.
Essentials of good relationships: Care and appreciation
Care and appreciate each other
Essentials of good relationships: Commitment
When you decide to do something you commit to it and complete what you set out to do. (Reservoir or rewards)
Essentials of good relationships: Adaptation
Can you change or are you against change. Adapting with what’s around you
