Interpersonal Effectiveness Flashcards
Dearman
Dear = what you are saying
Man = how you are saying it.
D in dear
Describe the current situation while sticking to the facts.
E in dear
Express your feelings + opinions about the situation. Don’t assume that the other person already knows you you feel.
A in dear
Assert yourself by asking for what you want clearly
R in dear
Reinforce/reward the person by explaining the positive effects of them granting what you want/need.
M in man
(Stay) mindful: focus on your goals by expressing you opinion over and over without getting off topic.
A in man
Appear confident: make eye contact, speak clearly.
N in man
Negotiate: offer/ask for other solutions, reduce your request
Give skill
Used for keeping/maintaining/creating the relationship
“G” in give
Gentle: be respectful, no eye rolling, cutting them off, or speaking over them.
“I” in give
Interested: act interested in the other person; make eye contact, don’t change the subject, let them speak.
“V” in give
Validate: with your words and actions, show them that you understand their point of view.
'’E” in give
Easy manner: smile, keep the conversation light-hearted.
Fast skill
Used to keep respect for yourself, setting boundaries, and saying no.
“F” in fast
Fair: be fair to yourself and to the other person. Validate both of your feelings + wishes.
“A” in fast
Apologies: don’t over-apologize. Don’t apologize for things that you don’t need to apologize for like making a request or having a differing opinion.
“S” in fast
Stick to your values: be clear on what you believe is right and what you value.
“T” in fast
Truthful: don’t lie. Don’t act helpless when you are not. Don’t exaggerate or make excuses.
Dialectics
The idea that two opposite things can both be true.
