Gryphon & Mock turtle scene 4

Question 1

Hello.

Answer 1

Hi.

Question 2

Don’t suppose you’d give us a hand, would you?

Answer 2

OK.

Question 3

I think it might take two of us to get her back again.

Answer 3

OK, why don’t you pull that foot over?

Question 4

Yes.

Answer 4

And I’ll pull this hand- sorry, can I have your hand? Other one.

Question 5

It’s never going to work. I mean who’s idea was it to go for a walk, anyway?

Answer 5

OK, and then if we both pull at the same time…

Question 6

Sand made my toes itch.

Answer 6

Pull a bit harder!

Question 7

It were terrible.

Answer 7

Once more!

Question 8

Ooof.

Answer 8

There we go. Can I help you stand up?

Question 9

No- lead me to’t the sofa, I’m too weak to stand.

Answer 9

Sofa?

Question 10

Over there.

Answer 10

A sofa on a beach. I’m not even surprised anymore.

Question 11

What can it be like, being stuck wi’ me all’t time?

I have been ill for so long.

Answer 11

What’s wrong with you?

Question 12

Oh no!

Answer 12

What?

Question 13

All’t tissues have gone. This is aaaaaawful. This is a disaster.

Answer 13

It’s not really a-

Question 14

No no, tell her about the dancing, love.

Answer 14

It’s OK, you don’t have to-

Question 15

Just something in the turn of her wrist, the extension of her arm, and that were it, that were me- gone!

Answer 15

And did you see him, too?

Question 16

Why don’t you sing it for her?

Answer 16

No, it’s OK, I’m sure I can just imagine-

Question 17

If she doesn’t want to hear it-

Answer 17

No, please. I’d love to.

Question 18

Beautiful soup, so rich and green,
Waiting in a hot tureen!
Who for such dainties would not stoop?
Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!
Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!

Answer 18

It’s a song about soup.

Question 19

Beautiful, my love. Int it?

Answer 19

It’s the best song about soup I’ve ever heard.

Question 20

Tuna Samba, Salmon Cha Cha Cha

Answer 20

Lost what?

Question 21

That’s when she took to wearing that thing… Look, love Lobster Quadrille…

Answer 21

What’s a Lobster Quadrille?

Question 22

It’s very beautiful. I shall never dance it again.

Answer 22

How d’you know?

Question 23

I’m in constant pain. My back.

Answer 23

Is that maybe because you’ve got a tin bath strapped to you?

Question 24

Sorry?

Answer 24

Well that’s got to be heavy, hasn’t it? Maybe that’s what’s making your back hurt.

Question 25

What does she mean?

Answer 25

I mean why have you got a big tin bath strapped to you?

Question 26

I need it for support.

Answer 26

It’s not much support if it’s making you fall over all the time.

Question 27

I’m very delicate- I need protecting.

Answer 27

From what?

Question 28

World’s full of sharp things and germs and things that want to hurt you- this is making me very upset.

Answer 28

I mean what if it’s you that’s holding you back- what if it’s just that funny fake shell you’re wearing? You might find your confidence again if you took that thing off.

Question 29

Now it’s not her fault she’s-

Answer 29

Why’d you let her get away with it? What if she could have been dancing all this time? All this time you’ve wasted feeling sorry for yourselves-

Question 30

You know, she might have a point, love.

Answer 30

Maybe getting a bit of exercise would make you feel better.

Question 31

If we’re together it doesn’t matter if something bad happens. This girl needs us to teach her the Lobster Quadrille-

Answer 31

Oh god do I have to dance?

Question 32

Please?

Answer 32

Yeah, OK.

Question 33

Just this last one… There.

Answer 33

Can you stand up?

Question 34

No, I mean. I’m not properly dressed.

Answer 34

Wow.

Question 35

Got the hang of it?

Answer 35

I think so.

Question 36

And then all the lobsters join in!

Answer 36

And one two three LOBSTER one two three PRAWN one two three CUTTLEFISH

Strictly Come Lobster. Brilliant. One two three PRAWN. No, that’s not right- one two three PRAWN gosh it’s difficult.

Completely inappropriate. COMPLETELY inappropriate. God, if my mum saw me dancing. That is totally. That is not OK. What, Joe’s dead and I’m dancing around? Idiot. God, Alice, what were you thinking?