Get People to my Point of View Flashcards
What should be done if one yells?
The other should listen. When 2 people yell, there’s no communication, just noise and bad vibrations.
Why should you Welcome the disagreement?
If there’s a point I haven’t thought about, I should be thankful it’s brought to my attention.
How do I Distrust my first instinctive impression?
Keep calm. Watch out for my first reaction of defence
Why should I Control my temper?
The size of a person is measured by what makes him or her angry.
How do you Listen first?
Give opponents/others a chance to talk. Let them finish.
Look for areas of agreement and…..?
Dwell on the points which I agree on. (Methods might be different but the purpose is the same)
Why should I think over my opponent’s ideas? And mean it?
They may be right. Agreeing to it is way better than a “we told you so, but you wouldn’t listen!”
How should you respond to opponents showing interest?
Think of them as people who really want to help me
What did Buddha say about hatred?
“Hatred is never ended by hatred but by love.”
9/10 how do arguments end (in terms of new beliefs)?
Each contestant is more firmly convinced ever about his own opinion.
What should be done to change their POV instead of saying “you’re wrong.”?
Ask questions in a friendly, cooperative manner. Be very careful not to let him think I’m making an issue of this point.
What did Ben Franklin do when hit with stinging truth?
What would he do when asserted with what he thought was an error?
He was big and wise enough to realise it was true, then began to change immediately.
Began by observing how his opinion may be right.
When we are wrong, we may admit it to ourselves. But in what case will we admit it to others?
Only when we are handled gently and tactfully we may admit it to others and even take pride in our broad-mindedness
Instead of instinctively reacting with “that’s right/wrong”, What should be done?
Understand precisely what the meaning of the statement is to the other person.
There’s magic in such phrases as “I may be wrong, I frequently am. Let’s examine the facts.” Why?
I will never get into uncle but admitting that I may be wrong.
What type of person defends their mistakes?
Any fool can try to defend their mistakes - and most of them do
HOW TO WIN PEOPLE TO YOUR WAY OF THINKING - Principle 1
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it
HOW TO WIN PEOPLE TO YOUR WAY OF THINKING - Principle 2
Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say “You’re wrong”
HOW TO WIN PEOPLE TO YOUR WAY OF THINKING - Principle 3
If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically
HOW TO WIN PEOPLE TO YOUR WAY OF THINKING - Principle 4
Begin in a friendly way
HOW TO WIN PEOPLE TO YOUR WAY OF THINKING - Principle 5
Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately
HOW TO WIN PEOPLE TO YOUR WAY OF THINKING - Principle 6
Let the other person do a great deal of the talking
HOW TO WIN PEOPLE TO YOUR WAY OF THINKING - Principle 7
Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers
HOW TO WIN PEOPLE TO YOUR WAY OF THINKING - Principle 8
Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view
HOW TO WIN PEOPLE TO YOUR WAY OF THINKING - Principle 9
Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires
HOW TO WIN PEOPLE TO YOUR WAY OF THINKING - Principle 10
Appeal to the nobler motives
HOW TO WIN PEOPLE TO YOUR WAY OF THINKING - Principle 11
Dramatize your ideas
HOW TO WIN PEOPLE TO YOUR WAY OF THINKING - Principle 12
Throw down a challenge
How to keep a disagreement from becoming an argument
*Welcome the disagreement
*Distrust your first instinctive impression
*Control your temper
*Listen first - don’t resist, debate or defend
*Look for areas of agreement -dwell on things you both agree on
*Be honest - look for areas where you can admit error and say so, Apologize for your mistakes
*Promise to think over your opponents ideas and study them - your opponent may be right
*Thank your opponent sincerely for their interest
*Postpone action to give both sides the time to think through the problem - suggest that new meeting be held at a later time
What did Henry Ford say was the one secret to success?
It lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as your own
Ways to arouse an eager want in another person
- Be enthusiastic and inspire them!
- Think always in terms of other people’s point of view, and see things from their perspective
- Understand the working of the other person’s mind and how they think about things
We all are interested in what we want. What are some ways to persuade someone to do things?
Talk about what they want and how to get it.
First arouse in another person an eager want!
Ask yourself “How can I make this person want to do it?”
