Friendship Flashcards
1
Q
what is a friendship?
A
- Voluntary, personal relationship typically providing intimacy and assistance, in which the two parties like one another and seek out each other’s company
- Different from romantic relationships (fewer obligations, less emotional intensity, typically does not involve sexual intimacy)
2
Q
characteristics of friendship
A
- Respect: considerate, accepting, honesty, admiration
- Trust: comfortable, takes your interests into account
- Responsiveness: attentive, supportive, recognition of our needs/interests
- Capitalization: share good news, get rewarding/enhancing responses
- Social support
3
Q
rules of friendship
A
- Shared cultural beliefs about what behaviours a friend should or should not perform
- Hall (2012) came up with different categories of rules:
- Symmetrical reciprocity: loyalty, mutual regard, support, trust, commitment, acceptance
- Agency: have or can offer resources, status, rewards (ex. Wealth, physical attractiveness, fitness, intelligence, education)
- Enjoyment: having fun, sense of humour
- Instrumental aid: providing assistance, help, granting favours
- Similarity: same attitudes, opinions, interests
- Communion: emotional availability, self-disclosure, intimacy, empathetic, understanding
4
Q
maintaining friendships: 4 strategies
A
- Time together: shared activity and on-going interaction, absence of interaction can lead to termination
- Openness: self-disclosure and discussions about life, valued in casual, close, and best friendships
- Social support: comfort, advice, ego support
- Avoidance: avoiding particular topics or people, time together balanced by time apart
5
Q
bromance (and homosociality)
A
- Bromance = close non-sexual relationship between two men
- Homosociality means same-sex relationships that are not of a romantic or sexual nature
- Demonstrated in films like 21 Jump Street, Due Date, 40-Year-Old Virgin → draw attention to men’s capacity to constitute complex and dynamic relationships grounded in male closeness, trust, and homosociality
6
Q
Robinson et al: Bromance study
A
- Examined how heterosexual British undergrad men compare to their experiences of bromances to that of romantic relationships
- Interviews with 30 undergrad males discussing experiences of bromances and the homosocial aspects of their same-sex friendships, and how those intimacies compared with those with their girlfriends/partners
- Selected results:
- Disclosure: shared personal matters and secrets with their bromance more than they shared with their romantic partner; able to express and share emotions without ridicule
- Conflict resolution: arguments with girlfriends were more intense, trivial, and long-lasting when compared with bromances → conflict with bromances is easier to overcome
7
Q
Lorger et al: friends with benefits study (basics)
A
- Looked at 191 people with a FWB (predominantly female, white straight who knew their FWB for about 3 years)
- Completed 2 surveys:
- asked what they hoped would happen with their FWB in the future, how satisfied they were with their relationship, and how much they communicated about relationship rules and boundaries
- 1 year later - asked whether the nature of their relationship was the same or if it had changed
8
Q
Loerger et al: friends with benefits study (results)
A
- after 1 year:
- 26% still FWBs
- 15% had become romantic partners
- 28% back to just being friends
- 31% had no relationship of any kind with former FWB
- Predictions vs Reality:
- Those who wanted to go back to being friends = most successful (60% of participants who desired that outcome at the beginning attained it at the end)
- Those who wanted to remain FWBs long-term = somewhat successful (40% maintained it throughout the study)
- Those who wanted to transition into romantic partners = least successful (15% of those who initially wanted that outcome reported such a transition)
9
Q
Hall study: friendship differences in same-sex friendships (men vs. women)
A
- Females are significantly more likely than males to have higher expectations for their ideal partners
- Females have higher expectations for symmetrical reciprocity and communion
- Males have higher expectations for agency
- Females and males equally likely to expect solidarity from ideal friends (solidarity = inclusion of friends in shared activities, time spent together, and similarity)
10
Q
friendships throughout the lifespan
A
- Looked at friendship differences between younger and older adults
- Measures: Collected demographic information, how much a friendship quality was important, and peer nominations of a close friend
- Findings:
- – Younger adults (under 40) more likely to be friends with same age peers
- – Older adults (over 60) almost equally likely to be friends with both same-age and middle-age (40-60) people
- – Both younger and older adults rated proximity as an unimportant factor in friendship formation
- – No age differences for emotional fulfillment or intimate exchange
- – Older adults found sensitivity to be an important aspect of friendship when compared to younger adults
11
Q
differences in friendship: sexual orientation
A
- 80% of LGB people have close heterosexual friends, but only one in every 6 heterosexuals knew they had a LGB friend
- Does this mean straight people have less diverse friendship networks?
- Other factors at play: living in a non-diverse place, LGBT community statistically smaller, LGB friends may not disclose sexuality
12
Q
differences in friendship: traits
A
- Potential friends with certain traits may be attractive at first, but make lousy friends over time
- Narcissism: arrogant, sense of self-importance, entitlement, selfishness
- Machiavellianism: lies to others, cynical, manipulative
13
Q
2 friendship challenges
A
- shyness
- loneliness
14
Q
shyness
A
- Socially reserved and inhibited behaviour with nervous discomfort in social settings (over 80% of people have experienced it)
- Interactions look like: less smiles, talking, eye contact, and less responsive
- Feel self-conscious, uncomfortable, and inept
- Common → unfamiliar situations, meeting attractive people, and high-status strangers for the first time
15
Q
why shyness happens
A
- Fear negative evaluation
- Self-doubt
- Feel less competent in social interactions
- Low social skills
