Final Quiz Review Flashcards
Revise for emphasis:
The stage scenery interested me most when I went to the theater as a child.
When I went to the theater as a child, what interested me most was the stage scenery.
Or:
When I went to the theater as a child, I was most interested in the stage scenery.
move important elements to the end of a sentence (4.1), what-shift (4.4)
Revise:
Every morning, I make breakfast before going to school. Scrambled eggs, toast, and orange juice usually constitute my breakfast.
Every morning, I make breakfast before going to school. It usually consists of scrambled eggs, toast, and orange juice.
cohesion (3.1)
Revise (these sentences follow the previous ones):
I typically pray and read my Bible after breakfast. When I was five years old, my great grandfather gave me this Bible.
After breakfast, I typically pray and read my Bible, which was given to me by my great grandfather when I was five years old.
cohesion (3.1)
Revise:
Agricultural efforts are being made in the reduction of pesticides in order to leave customers satisfied.
Farmers are using fewer pesticides in order to satisfy customers.
characters and actions (1.4, 1.6.4; note: the character was hiding in an adjective)
Revise:
Transforming the country into one of the world’s largest and most influential economies, China’s GDP has grown tremendously over the past few decades.
China’s GDP has grown tremendously over the past few decades, transforming the country into one of the world’s largest and most influential economies.
Coherence (topics should come toward the beginning of sentences and clauses, 3.8)
Revise:
I had a meeting with the manager yesterday.
I met with the manager yesterday.
characters and actions (1.4, 1.6.4)
Revise:
After the war, the focus of entertainment and popular culture was to encourage themes of conformity and anti-rebelliousness.
After the war, popular culture focused on encouraging conformity.
Or:
After the war, popular culture encouraged conformity.
characters and actions (1.4, 1.6.4; note: “conformity” is a legitimate nominalization here), concision (repetitive words (2.3))
Revise:
At this point in time, I am of the belief that only people who own land should be allowed to participate in elections.
I believe that only landowners should be allowed to vote.
characters and actions (1.4, 1.6.4), concision (filler words (2.2.1), words that can be replaced with fewer words (2.5))
Revise:
The United States dropped a nuclear bomb on Hiroshima. Japan surrendered.
After the United States dropped a nuclear bomb on Hiroshima, Japan surrendered.
Coherence (unclear relationships, 3.7)
Revise:
There is fear among many conservative parents that the state will outlaw homeschooling
Many conservative parents fear that the state will outlaw homeschooling.
characters and actions (1.4, 1.6.4)
Revise for emphasis:
When the paleontologist dug, there was a giant stegosaurus beneath the rock.
When the paleontolgist dug beneath the rock, he discovered a giant stegosaurus.
cf. 4.1 (giant stegosaurus is the most important element, so it should come at the end; also note that the character becomes the subject of the second clause)
Revise if necessary:
If you are attacked while walking at night, yell as loudly as possible.
No revision necessary.
this is an appropriate use of the passive voice (cf. 1.8.3)
Revise:
The conclusion of the researchers was that the existence of aliens might actually be real.
The researchers concluded that aliens might actually exist.
characters and actions (1.4, 1.6.4)
Revise:
My dog didn’t look the same after coming back home from her visit to the vet.
My dog looked different after returning from the vet.
negative words (2.6), words that can be replaced with fewer words (2.5)
Revise for emphasis:
If wisdom is what you want, do not drink from modern psychologists’ stagnant wells but from ancient philosophers’ bustling springs.
If you want wisdom, do not drink from the stagnant wells of modern psychologists but from the bustling springs of ancient philosophers.
cf. 4.1, of-shift (4.4)
