Exercise 3.1 Flashcards
Revise if necessary:
Electrical engineers utilize conductors to create integrated circuits. Any material that allows electricity to flow in one or more directions is a conductor.
Electrical engineers utilize conductors to create integrated circuits. A conductor is any material that allows elecricity to flow in one or more directions.
cf. 3.1 (note: “any material” is new information, so we must begin with the familiar “conductor” before introducing it.)
Revise if necessary:
Alexander Graham Bell was a Scottish-born inventor and scientist who patented the first practical telephone. Co-founding the American Telephone and Telegraph Company (AT&T) is another one of his accomplishments.
Alexander Graham Bell was a Scottish-born inventor and scientist who patented the first practical telephone. He also co-founded the American Telephone and Telegraph Company (AT&T).
cf. 3.1 (note: “co-founding the American Telephone and Telegraph company” is new information, so we must begin with the familiar “he” (i.e. Bell) before introducing it.)
Revise if necessary:
Bell spent many years developing the first telephone. Deafness plagued his wife and mother, both of whom largely inspired his research.
Bell spent many years developing the first telephone. His research was largely inspired by his wife and mother, who were both deaf.
cf. 3.1 (note: “deafness” is new information, so we must begin with the familiar “his research” before introducing it.)
Revise if necessary:
Few things in the universe are as mysterious as black holes. The collapse of a dead star into a point no larger than a marble creates a black hole.
Few things in the universe are as mysterious as black holes. A black hole is created by the collapse of a dead star into a point no larger than a marble.
cf. 3.1
Revise if necessary:
Many white conservatives opposed jazz during the early 20th-century, claiming that it promoted immorality. Some churches, however, incorporated it into their worship music.
Doesn’t need revising.
cf. 3.3 (note: although “some churches” is technically new information, we naturally associate churches with “conservatives,” and therefore it does not feel new.)
Revise if necessary:
The Statue of Liberty was given to the United States as a gift from France in 1886. Frédéric Auguste Bartholdi, who designed it, spent eleven years building it.
The Statue of Liberty was given to the United States as a gift from France in 1886. It was designed by Frédéric Auguste Bartholdi, who spent eleven years building it.
old before new (cf. 3.1)
Revise if necessary:
Mecca is the holiest city in Islam and the birthplace of the Prophet Muhammad. Millions of Muslims travel there each year.
Doesn’t need revising.
cf. 3.3 (note: although “millions of Muslims” is technically new information, we naturally associate Muslims with Islam, and therefore it does not feel new.)
Revise if necessary:
It is my opinion that men did not love the city of Rome for the reason that it was a great city. That had nothing to do with it. What actually happened was that the people first loved Rome, and their love turned it into a great a city.
Men did not love Rome because she was great. She was great because they had loved her.
words that can be replaced with fewer words (2.5)
Revise if necessary:
The elephant is the largest existing land animal. It has a long proboscis called a trunk. Breathing, bringing food and water to the mouth, and grasping objects are just some of the trunk’s many uses.
The elephant is the largest existing land animal. It has a long proboscis called a trunk, which is used for breathing, bringing food and water to the mouth, and grasping objects.
old before new (3.1)
Revise if necessary:
William Shakespeare was the most influential English playwright and poet in history. “Hamlet” has been performed and studied more than any other play in the English language, and it is his greatest work.
William Shakespeare was the most influential English playwright and poet in history. His greatest work, “Hamlet,” has been performed and studied more than any other play in the English language.
old before new (3.1)
Revise if necessary:
The promotion of “cultural exchange” was the Board’s main endeavor.
The Board mainly endeavored to promote “cultural exchange.”
Or:
The Board mainly promoted “cultural exchange.”
characters and actions (1.4, 1.6.4)
