Exercise 2.1

Question 1

Revise:

The reality of the situation is that students must not submit their homework assignments late.

Answer 1

Students must submit their homework on time.

filler words (2.2.1), negative words (2.6), repetitive words (2.3), general implications (2.4.3)

Question 2

Revise:

The boy walked at a quick pace down the hallway, anxious to see what the results of the election were.

Answer 2

The boy walked quickly down the hallway, anxious to see the election results.

redundant categories (2.4.2), words that can be replaced with fewer words (2.5)

Question 3

Revise:

Most children possess an innate desire that drives them to explore and learn about the things around them.

Answer 3

Children desire to explore their surroundings.

hedges (2.2.2), words that can be replaced with fewer words (2.5), repetitive words (2.3), general implications (2.4.3)

Question 4

Revise:

In the case that you are unable to attend the party, please send us a notification.

Answer 4

If you cannot attend the party, please notify us.

words that can be replaced with fewer words (2.5)

Question 5

Revise:

I would like to take this opportunity to sincerely thank each and every one of you for your help and support.

Answer 5

Thank you all for your support.

filler words (2.2.1), redundant modifiers (2.4.1), repetitive words (2.3)

Question 6

Revise:

The Lord of the Rings is primarily about a hobbit who embarks on a journey to seek to destroy a powerful ring.

Answer 6

The Lord of the Rings is about a hobbit who embarks on a journey to destroy a powerful ring.

hedges (2.2.2)

Question 7

Revise:

The reason an inventory was taken was because they had a suspicion of some items being stolen.

Answer 7

They took an inventory because they suspected that some items had been stolen.

characters and actions (1.4, 1.6.4), absent characters (1.8.3)

Question 8

Revise:

I personally recommend that the company build a new storage facility in order to ensure that we adequately address the growth that we have experienced recently as a company.

Answer 8

I recommend that the company build a new storage facility in order to accomodate our recent growth.

redundant modifiers (2.4.1), words that can be replaced with fewer words (2.5), repetitive words (2.3)

Question 9

Revise:

According to Dr. Martin Seligman at the University of Pennsylvania, the human body consists of approximately 40 trillion cells.

Answer 9

The human body consists of approximately 40 trillion cells.

attributions (2.2.2)

Question 10

Revise:

There’s a chance, although I can’t say for certain, that the event might be canceled.

Answer 10

The event might be canceled.

hedges (2.2.2), repetitive words (2.3)

Question 11

Revise:

She was absolutely thrilled to see her daughter marry a genuinely upright man.

Answer 11

She was thrilled to see her daughter marry an upright man.

intensifiers (2.2.2)

Question 12

Revise:

I enjoy jazz to a certain extent, but I don’t tend to listen to it very often.

Answer 12

I enjoy jazz, but I don’t listen to it often.

hedges (2.2.2) (note: often is also a hedge, but in this case it is necessary because we would substantially change the meaning if we removed it.)

Question 13

Revise:

One pithy description of Elvis was this: “He is like a strip-teaser mixed with a malted milk machine.”

Answer 13

One man described Elvis as “a strip-teaser mixed with a malted milk machine.”

characters and actions (1.4, 1.6.4), absent characters (1.8.3)

Question 14

Revise:

The view was incredibly beautiful. Not a single one of us could even say anything.

Answer 14

The view was breathaking–we couldn’t speak.

intensifiers (2.2.2)

Question 15

Revise:

I would like you all to consider the established fact that police have not been able to bring about a downward trend in illegal activity within our community over the past few years.

Answer 15

Consider that police have failed to reduce crime in our community.
Or:
Police have failed to reduce crime in our community.

introductions (2.2.2), words that can be replaced with fewer words (2.5)

Question 16

Revise:

The utter neglect of the rat infestation problem at the park by city officials eventually led to its complete abandonment.

Answer 16

When city officials neglected the rat infestation at the park, residents abandoned it.
Or:
City officials neglected the rat infestation at the park, leading residents to abandon it.

characters and actions (1.4, 1.6.4), absent characters (1.8.3), intensifiers (2.2.2), general implications (2.4.3)

Question 17

Revise:

I made this bread using olive oil, which I picked up from the store on my way home from work, and rosemary, which also happens to be the name of my parakeet!

Answer 17

I made this bread using olive oil and rosemary.

words that discuss irrelevant matters (2.7)

Question 18

Revise:

He worked extremely hard to train for the race.

Answer 18

He trained arduously for the race.

intensifiers (2.2.2)

Question 19

Revise:

When I realized that I was lost, I took out my phone and called my friend to ask him to tell me which street to turn on.

Answer 19

When I realized I was lost, I called my friend to ask for directions.

general implications (2.4.3), words that can be replaced with fewer words (2.5)

Question 20

Revise:

Honestly, the United States truly is the greatest nation in the world, even though we still have certain problems.

Answer 20

The United States is the greatest nation in the world, even though we still have problems.

filler words (2.2.1)

Question 21

Revise:

The Racial Integrity Act used reasoning from studies in eugenics and historical accounts to refute the claim that intermarrying whites and blacks would be a good thing.

Answer 21

The Racial Integrity Act used studies in eugenics and historical accounts to discredit interracial marriage.

general implications (2.4.3), words that can be replaced with fewer words (2.5)

Question 22

Revise:

She bought a house large in size but cheap in price.

Answer 22

She bought a large but cheap house.

redundant categories (2.4.2)

Question 23

Revise:

While the collection of samples was taking place at the crime scene, an interrogation of the suspect was happening at police headquarters.

Answer 23

While investigators were collecting samples at the crime scene, police were interrogating the suspect at the headquarters.

characters and actions (1.4, 1.6.4), absent characters (1.8.3)

Question 24

Revise:

As records indicate, it was 1954 when the Swanson brand first debuted the TV dinner to society.

Answer 24

The Swanson brand first debuted the TV dinner in 1954.

attributions (2.2.2), general implications (2.4.3), characters and actions (1.4, 1.6.4)

Question 25

Revise:

The newspapers of this time were not a source admired or respected for the acquisition of accurate facts about the happenings of the world around them.

Answer 25

Newspapers of this time were not respected as accurate sources of information.

repetitive words (2.3), words that can be replaced with fewer words (2.5)