EXAM 3 Dialectics Flashcards
relational dialectics assume relationships are
- constantly changing so relationships cannot be maintained but sustained (always moving a little)
- have needs that counter act each other such that you cannot achieve both at the same time
- interdependent parties
any tension you feel in your relationship…
so does your partner and thus the entire relationship is affected
Three internal dialectics
1) autonomy – connectedness
2) openness – closeness
3) predictability – novelty
** tensions magnify when one person needs autonomy and the other needs connectedness
three over arching tensions
1) integration – seperation
2) stability – change
3) expression – privacy
integration – seperation tension
1) connection – autonomy
2) inclusion – seclusion
connection – autonomy
- internal
- we vs me
- how interdependent do you want the relationship to be?
inclusion – seclusion
- external
- tension between a couples desire for involvement with the outside world and desire to live their own lives
- free of what can feel like interference from others
stability – change tension
1) predicability – novelty
2) conventionality – uniqueness
predictability – novelty
- internal
- spontaneous vs routine
- what does a Thursday look like
conventionality – uniqueness
- external
- challenges that people in a relationship face when trying to meet others expectations as well as their own
- playing roll of happy couple
expression – privacy tension
1) openness – closeness
2) reveal – concealment
openness – closeness
- internal
- the tension between desire to be honest and open and desire for privacy
- disclosing history of depression
reveal – concealment
- external
- the tension between a couples desire to be open and honest with the “outside world” and desire to keep things to themselves
- when do we tell people were pregnant
Three external dialectics
1) inclusion – seclusion
2) conventionality – uniqueness
3) reveal – concealment
“I need more space”
connection – autonomy
“we should hangout more in groups”
inclusion – seclusion
“we need to spice things up”
predicability – novelty
“we have to go to the Christmas service and post a picture”
conventionality – uniqueness
4 primary theory assumptions on Dialects (readings pg. 83)
- praxis
- change
- contradiction
- totality
praxis assumption
- suggests that a development in a relationship in neither linear nor repetitive
- instead relationships can become more intimate or less intimate over time
change assumption
-presumes that the only guarantee in a relationship is that it will change
contradictions assumption
- assumes relationships are grounded in interdependent yet mutually negating contridicitions
- both people have different needs
totality assumption
- recognizes that without interdependence a relationship cannot exist
- any tension you feel will effect your partner
4 ways to manage internal and external tensions (reading pg. 86)
1) selection
2) cycling or spiraling alteration
3) segmentation
4) integration
selection
involved favoring one need over at the expense of another
cycling or spiraling alteration
fulfill one need now and shift to fulfill another need at a different time creating a back and forth thing
segmentation
compartmentalizes a relationship such that certain issues coincide with one need and other issues are appropriate for the opposite need
integration
- includes several variations on incorporating aspects of both so as to create a more fulfilling experience
- novelty AND predictability
