EXAM 3 Dialectics

Question 1

relational dialectics assume relationships are

Answer 1

• constantly changing so relationships cannot be maintained but sustained (always moving a little)
• have needs that counter act each other such that you cannot achieve both at the same time
• interdependent parties

Question 2

any tension you feel in your relationship…

Answer 2

so does your partner and thus the entire relationship is affected

Question 3

Three internal dialectics

Answer 3

1) autonomy – connectedness
2) openness – closeness
3) predictability – novelty

** tensions magnify when one person needs autonomy and the other needs connectedness

Question 4

three over arching tensions

Answer 4

1) integration – seperation
2) stability – change
3) expression – privacy

Question 5

integration – seperation tension

Answer 5

1) connection – autonomy

2) inclusion – seclusion

Question 6

connection – autonomy

Answer 6

• internal
• we vs me
• how interdependent do you want the relationship to be?

Question 7

inclusion – seclusion

Answer 7

• external
• tension between a couples desire for involvement with the outside world and desire to live their own lives
• free of what can feel like interference from others

Question 8

stability – change tension

Answer 8

1) predicability – novelty

2) conventionality – uniqueness

Question 9

predictability – novelty

Answer 9

• internal
• spontaneous vs routine
• what does a Thursday look like

Question 10

conventionality – uniqueness

Answer 10

• external
• challenges that people in a relationship face when trying to meet others expectations as well as their own
• playing roll of happy couple

Question 11

expression – privacy tension

Answer 11

1) openness – closeness

2) reveal – concealment

Question 12

openness – closeness

Answer 12

• internal
• the tension between desire to be honest and open and desire for privacy
• disclosing history of depression

Question 13

reveal – concealment

Answer 13

• external
• the tension between a couples desire to be open and honest with the “outside world” and desire to keep things to themselves
• when do we tell people were pregnant

Question 14

Three external dialectics

Answer 14

1) inclusion – seclusion
2) conventionality – uniqueness
3) reveal – concealment

Question 15

“I need more space”

Answer 15

connection – autonomy

Question 16

“we should hangout more in groups”

Answer 16

inclusion – seclusion

Question 17

“we need to spice things up”

Answer 17

predicability – novelty

Question 18

“we have to go to the Christmas service and post a picture”

Answer 18

conventionality – uniqueness

Question 19

4 primary theory assumptions on Dialects (readings pg. 83)

Answer 19

• praxis
• change
• contradiction
• totality

Question 20

praxis assumption

Answer 20

• suggests that a development in a relationship in neither linear nor repetitive
• instead relationships can become more intimate or less intimate over time

Question 21

change assumption

Answer 21

-presumes that the only guarantee in a relationship is that it will change

Question 22

contradictions assumption

Answer 22

• assumes relationships are grounded in interdependent yet mutually negating contridicitions
• both people have different needs

Question 23

totality assumption

Answer 23

• recognizes that without interdependence a relationship cannot exist
• any tension you feel will effect your partner

Question 24

4 ways to manage internal and external tensions (reading pg. 86)

Answer 24

1) selection
2) cycling or spiraling alteration
3) segmentation
4) integration

Question 25

selection

Answer 25

involved favoring one need over at the expense of another

Question 26

cycling or spiraling alteration

Answer 26

fulfill one need now and shift to fulfill another need at a different time creating a back and forth thing

Question 27

segmentation

Answer 27

compartmentalizes a relationship such that certain issues coincide with one need and other issues are appropriate for the opposite need

Question 28

integration

Answer 28

• includes several variations on incorporating aspects of both so as to create a more fulfilling experience
• novelty AND predictability