EXAM 2 Flashcards
politeness theory
explains why and how people try to promote, protect, to save face
face
desired self image you wish to present to others
negative face
- desire to act freely without constraint
- brutally honest
positive face
- liked, appreciated, admired
- doing thing so people feel this way about you
3 assumptions of politeness theory
1) all people are concerned with maintaining face
2) humans are rational and goal orientated
3) Some behaviors are fundamentally face threatening
preventive face work
- working for a specific face
- avoid topic
- lie
- pretend not to notice
- change topic
- BEFORE THE FACE HAPPENS
corrective face work
- fixing face of self or another after a face threatening act
- AFTER FACE HAPPENS
avoid
choose not to communicate/ change topic
go off record
indirectly hints or subtly mentions face threat topic
negative politeness
speaker makes effort to recognize others negative face needs
positive politeness
speaker emphasizes recipes need to be liked
bald on record
blunt. no attempt to protect face
artifacts
things you own/ materialistic
kinesics
body movement
haptics
touch
proxemics
use of personal space
physical appearance
what you look like
environment
how you set up “your” space
chronemics
the use of time to communicate
vocalics
tone, rate, pitch of speaking
stages of escalation
- initiating
- experimenting
- intensifying
- integrating
- bonding
movement in relationships
- generally sequential
- may be forward or backward
- move within stages happen
initiating stage
- display self
- scan for commonalities/ attractiveness
- talk
- greeting seduction rituals
- ends with first line
- caution and convention
experimenting stage
- we ask questions
- small talk
- we decide if its worthwhile
- most relationships do not progress beyond this point
intensifying stage
- move beyond superficial knowledge
- gradually= tentative
- increase depth
- more informal
- switch from I to we
- make direct expressions
- private jokes
- take on roles
integrating stage
- identities fuse and become a couple
- merge social circles
- common property (songs/ movies)
- similarities in speech, dress and mannerisms
bonding stage
- public ritual to announce the formal commitment
- marriage/ engagement
- hard to terminate at this point
- you can pop in and out of this stage
- make sacrifices for relationship
- long term plans
coming apart stages
- differentiating
- circumscribing
- stagnating
- avoiding
- terminating
differentiating stage
- becoming distant
- realizing how different you are as people
- arguments and attempts to break up
- confused/ separate
- less talk about topics central to personalities
- unfused identities
circumscribing stage
- cutting off certain topics
- reduce quantity and quality
- less affection talk
- do induvidualisic actives
- feel cold or distant
- silent in the car
stagnating stage
- communication is infrequent, tense and awkward
- afraid talk will produce
- low experimentation
- little sense of bringing up certain topics because you know what would happen
avoiding stage
- rearranging lives to avoid contact
- talk frankly
- more of a way not to waste engird on person
- angry, helpless, nervous
terminating stage
-ending relationship verbally, physically
liking
affection- warm, closeness, fondness
respect- admiration independent of relationship
loving
attachment- powerful drive to be in presence
caring- need to give without concern for receiving
intimacy- sense of deep union between 2 people
principal of lease interest
the person who cares the least has the most power
more romantic
men
falls in love faster
men
falls our of love faster
women
recover better after relationship
women
sees more problems in relationship
woman
dump more
women
dump more if less involved
men
sees breakup as abrupt
men
suffers more after relationship breakup
men
experience unrequited love more
women
who experiences love at first sight more
men
love styles scale
- storge
- Agapic
- Manic
- Pragma
- Ludic
- Eros
Storge
- friendship love
- very close friendships becomes love
- women have higher these
- love is not mystery feeling
- physical attraction is not as important
- emotions tend to be muted
Agapic
- selfless love
- I would rather suffer than let them suffer
- put ones love above ones left
- can be taken advantage
- more focused on giving then receiving
- willing to make sacrifices
- want someone to love
Manic
- possessive love
- feeling ownership over lover
- demanding, dependent, possessive
- always comparing relationship with when it was at its best
- happiness relies on someone else
- obsessive or over control
Pragma
- logical love
- cognitive appreciate for others quality
- best to love someone with similar background
- shopping list lover
- rational (pros and cons)
- love is a choice
Ludic
- game play love
- flirtatious and not committed
- love is fleeting and fun mindset
- best person to date
- avoid serious commitment
- low levels of disclosure
Eros
- passionate love
- love at first sight
- emotional highs and lows
- escalate sexual intimacy
- physical contact/ nonverbal affection
- serial daters
storge and storge
good
eros and storge
bad
eros and eros
bad
manic and storge
bad
social exchange theory
- people evaluate relationships based on an exchange of goods
- maximize reward
- minimize cost
evaluating a relationship
- comparison level
- comparison level for alternatives
- outcomes
comparison leven (CL)
- what we believe we deserve in our relationships
- the list
- measure our happiness
comparison level for alternatives (CLalt)
- what rewards we would get if we were not in this relationship
- measure our stability
outcomes (O)
-what actually comes occurs in reality
8 codes of nonverbal comm
- artifacts
- kinesics
- haptics
- proxemics
- physical appearance
- environment
- chronemics
- vocalics
