Dealing with difficult times Flashcards
Despair = Suffering - Meaning
Suffering with no meaning = despair
“He who has a WHY can bear with almost any HOW.”
Find a reason for any suffering that comes my way.
Suffering = Pain x Resistance
Minimise both pain and resistance for no suffering. Resistance is controllable
Resistance comes from attachment. Learn to detach.
Disappointment = Expectations - Reality
Expectations without considering reality = disappointment
Step back, have a reality check.
Glass half full or half empty? Be glad to have a glass.
Regret = Disappointment + Responsibility
Having disappointment and knowing I could have done more about it = regret
Losses > gains. However, “20 yrs from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the things you did do.” Stop playing safe.
Feelings of regret are not necessarily logical. May be exaggerated
Short term pain > long term angst. Learn lessons from them. Regret may be a temporary emotion for a bigger picture
Jealousy = Mistrust / Low Self-Esteem
Lower self esteem with mistrust = more jealousy
Jealousy = preventing the loss by predicting the worst.
What if it was only a signal to check if something was wrong in me. Is my trust low? Do I have a low self esteem?
When in doubt, build up my self esteem. Do what I’m best at
Those who are nature trusting are less likely to feel jealous
Envy = (Pride + Vanity) / Kindness
Low kindness with being affected about what others think of me = envy
Envy = Corrosive if not turned positive.
Caused through social comparison. Use it as fuel or compare with myself.
Pride = Opinion of ourselves. Vanity = What we would have others think of us.
It’s near impossible to be envious and kind at the same time. Embrace the good fortune of even my most competitive rivals. Envy = Admire
Anxiety = Uncertainty x Powerlessness
Raising my power (abilities) and/or becoming more certain = less anxiety
Anxiety is welcomed when our minds race into the future, imagining the worst. Staying in the present is a coping mechanism
Be comfortable with my abilities (feel powerful despite uncertainty) and anxiety dissipates.
Welcome anxiety > be overwhelmed. Fill in: What I… know; don’t know; can influence; can’t control
If this was happening for a higher purpose, what would it be?
Growth = Change - Resistance
Be open to a better life without the ego getting involved
Opposite of resistance = surrender, acceptance, change
Growth and change are ‘healthy’. Resistance is ‘unhealthy’. Subtraction equation
Humiliation = (Shame x Anger) - Power
Find my power, my strengths in the situation. I may be better at a different aspect that they are not. Make a list of where I add most value
Humiliation synonyms = shame, disgrace
Guilt = feeling I’ve done something wrong Shame = feeling something is wrong about me
Seeing equations in black and white gives a sense of power and understanding.
