Conflict Resolution Flashcards
How to resolve conflicts or disagreements successfully
What are the 10 steps for resolving conflict?
(1) Set a time and place for discussion.
(2) Define the problem and be specific.
(3) List the ways you each contribute to the problem.
(4) List any past attempts to resolve the issue that were not successful.
(5) Brainstorm 10 possible solutions to the problem (without judging/ciriticizing any solution).
(6) Discuss and evaluate each of these possible solutions.
(7) Agree on ONE solution to try.
(8) Agree how you will each work toward this solution.
(9) Set up another meeting to discuss your progress.
(10) Reward each other for progress.
What physical and emotional reactions or signs that indicate you need a time-out?
(1) My breathing becomes fast.
(2) My face turns red.
(3) My fists are clenched
(4) Tears are rolling down my cheeks.
(5) I screamed/yelled.
(6) I feel like throwing something.
(7) I feel emotionally closed.
(8) I am afraid of my partner’s intensity.
What do you say to your partner if you want to call for a “time out” for yourself?
“I’m just too angry to talk right now so I need to take a time-out. Please give me 1-3 hours to calm down and think productively.”
Take note that it is seldom helpful to call for a time-out for your partner instead of yourself.
You can also suggest a time frame when you think you’ll be ready to resume talking to your partner.
What method(s) can you use to relax and calm down?
(1) Pray and seek forgiveness from Almighty God.
(2) Take several deep breaths.
(3) Go for a walk, jog or get into some physical movements.
(4) Take a bath.
(5) Read
(6) Write/Journalling
(7) Other recreational activities that can promote wellness and help you recover from the emotional intensity.
How do you focus or remember what is importantduring a conflict or disagreement?
(1) Try to identify what you were thinking and feeling that made it so difficult for you to discuss with your partner.
(2) Try using “I” messages to convey your thoughts/feelings and articulate what you need from him/her.
(3) Consider your partner’s point of view and what she/he was feeling.
(4) As both of you are a team, work towards a solution that make both of you feel good.
How do you resume the conversation after a time-out?
Apply assertiveness as well as active listening skills and use the 10 Steps For Resolving Conflict.
What are the SIX steps for seeking forgiveness?
(1) Admit what you did was wrong or hurtful.
(2) Try to understand/empathize with the pain you have caused.
(3) Take responsibility for your actions and make restitution if necessary.
(4) Assure your partner you will not do it again.
(5) Apologize and ask for forgiveness.
(6) Forgive yourself.
What are the SIX steps for granting forgiveness?
(1) Acknowledge your pain/anger and allow yourself to feel disrespected.
(2) Be specific about your future expectations and limits.
(3) Give up your right to “get even” but insist on being treated better in the future.
(4) Let go of blame, resentment and negativity toward your partner.
(5) Communicate your act of forgiveness to your partner.
(6) Work toward reconciliation (when safe).
