Close Relationships Flashcards
attachment
global orientation towards relationships
relational schema
set of beliefs, attitudes, and expectations regarding ourselfs, others, relationships in general
attachment theory
infants form close bonds with caregivers because it promotes proximity and sense of security
how has the innate attachment system evolved
people are motivated to stay safe/close
childhood experiences create an internal working model of self and others which
influence personality development and social bx
in response to stressful situations, attachment system can
direct our response
secure babies
caregivers are responsive, sensitive to expressions of need
anxious/ambivalent babies
caregivers don’t always detect when child is in need - inconsistently responsive
avoidant babies
emotionall unavailable/rejecting caregivers
difference between adult-adult attachment and infant-caregiver attachment
adult-adult can be a sexual system, symmetry (undefined roles between the two adults), security can exist without physical contact
low anxiety of self, low avoidance of others
secure type secure self, comfotable with intimacy and autonomy
high anxiety of self, low avoidance of others
preoccupied type - preoccupied with relationships (ruminates), overly seeks intimacy, jealous, clingy
low anxiety of self, high avoidance of others
dismissing type - secure self, not trusting, distance themselves,casual sex, break-ups
high anxiety of self, high avoidance of others
fearful type - preoccupied with relationships, not trusting, fearful of and avoids intimacy, break-ups
anxiety of self
how afraid are you of abandonment?
avoidance of others
how comfortable are you with relying on others?
why attachment matters - avoidance
less provision to partners, less intimate sex, more casual sex, more partners, emotional/physical infidelity
why attachment matters - anxiety
controlling caregiving, sex to avoid rejection, preceives partners as inattentive, commitment problems, overperceive conflict in relationships
how we are treated as a child predicts our adult relationship behavior/quality study
examined style of caregiver relationship at 18mo then attachment style at 22yo
more sensitive, less controlling mothers led to
less avoidant, less anxious attachment
attachment security
more commitment, trust ,intimacy; less conflict, jealousy, negative emotion
attachment styles can be self-perpetuating, but can
differ by relationship and change with relationship experiences
sternbergs triangular theory of love
intimacy to commitment - companionate love
commitment to passion - fatuous love
passion to intimacy - romantic love
consumate love in the center
only intimacy
liking
only commitment
cognitive decision to be in the relationship (empty love)
only pasion
infatuation
passionate love
swift onset, short duration, idealization of beloved, intense emotions, sexual desire
romantic love
limited life span 18-30 years
when relationships last, what love plays huge role
companionate love
how do fun arousing activities help relationships
avoid habituation (see partner in new light) and expand the self (thinks of themself differently)
Rusbult’s investment modeal
commitment is a much more important factors than satisfaciton with determining why relationships last
rusbults investment model - what goes into commitment
satisfaction with relationship, level of investment, and quality of alternatives
why do people saty in dangerous relationships
investments (kids), and poor alternatives (can’t support themself)
