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Indivdual > Close Relationship > Flashcards

Close Relationship Flashcards

1
Q

What is love?

A 
Passionate love and companionate love
Love and culture 
Love across time
Sternberg triangle
Tradeoff: sex in and out of marriage
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2
Q

Passionate love

A

Strong feelings of longing, desire, and excitement toward a special person
Makes people want to spend as much time as possible together, to touch each other, engage in physical intimacy

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3
Q

Companionate love

A

Mutual understanding and caring to make the relationship succeed
Less strongly emotional

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4
Q

Love and culture

A

Passionate love seems to be universal but the forms and expressions vary from one culture to another

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5
Q

Love across time

A

Companionate love is what makes a good marriage or a stable, trustworthy, lasting relationships
Passionate love may be the most effective emotion for starting relationship; companionate love may be the most effective emotion for making it succeed and survive in the long run

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6
Q

Behavioural sign of the decrease in passion can be found in data about frequency of sexual intercourse

A

As time goes by, the average married couple has sex less and less often
James (1981): for most couples, sex is the most frequent during the first month and first year after the wedding and declines after

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7
Q

decline in sex frequency

A

If a couple has a long marriage, the frequency of sex goes down, but if they then divorce and remarry, they typically show a big increase in sexual frequency with their new partners (Call, Sprecher, & Schwartz, 1995)

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8
Q

Tradeoff: sex in and out of marriage

A

Married people: have more frequent sex, benefits from a partner who knows their responses and loves them (know each other better), sex conforms to a stable and regular pattern of familiar activity once or twice a week
Single people: have more partners, spend more time and energy on each sex act and try more things, life alternates between periods of exciting sex with new partner and period of no sex with any partner

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9
Q

Sternberg’s triangle

A

Passion
Intimacy
Commitment

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10
Q

Passion

A

Emotional state characterised by high bodily arousal, such as increase heart rate and blood pressure

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11
Q

Intimacy

A

Feeling of closeness mutual understanding and mutual concern for each other welfare and happiness

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12
Q

Commitment

A

A conscious decision that remains constant

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13
Q

The shift from passionate to compassionate love is explained by Sternbergs theory

A

Passion increases dramatically and tend to decline steadily over time
Intimacy starts low and tends to increase over time

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14
Q

Exchange relationships

A

Relationships based on reciprocity and fairness, in which people expect something in return

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15
Q

Communal relationships

A

Relationships based on mutual love and concern without expectation of repayment
More desirable healthier and mature

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16
Q

Clark (1984): Measure communal versus exchange orientation

A

Participants work on a puzzle either using different coloured pen or the same coloured pen
People who want or have communal relationship are more likely to use the same pen

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17
Q

Bowlby (1969)

A

Influenced by Freudian and learning theory

Believe childhood attachment predicted that the relationship is no longer in the majority opinions

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18
Q

Shaver

A

Describe attachment in adult romantic relationships: anxious/ambivalent, secure, avoidant

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19
Q

Two dimensions of attachment theory

A

A theory that classified people into 4 attachment styles (secure, preoccupied, dismissing avoidant, fearful avoidant) into 2 dimensions (anxiety, avoidance)

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20
Q

Secure attachment

A

Style of attachment in which people are low on anxiety and low on avoidance

They trusted partner, share their feelings, provide and receive support and comfort and enjoy their relationships

Generally have good sex lives

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21
Q

Preoccupied attachment

A

Low on avoidance, high on anxiety

They want and enjoy closeness but worry that their relationship partners will abandon them

May use sex to pull others close to them

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22
Q

Dismissing avoidant attachment

A

Low on anxiety, high on avoidance

They tend to view partners as unreliable and available and uncaring

May avoid sex, or use sex to resist initimacy

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23
Q

Fearful avoidant attachment

A

High on anxiety and high on avoidance

They have low options of themselves and keep others from getting close

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24
Q

Marlow: belongingness and love needs were more basic than self esteem needs

A

Low self esteem engage in behaviour can undermine a relationship: distrustful when partners express love or support
- doubt that they are lovable, so expect others to leave them

High self esteem: do other, different things that are bad for the relationships
- think they are lovable, so they think they can find a new partner relatively easily

25
Q

Narcissists in relationship

A

High self-esteem; stronger, unstable self-love
Harmful to relationship
Less committed to love relationships
Tend to blame partner and not accept responsibility
Take all the credit when things go well

26
Q

Self acceptance

A

Minimal form of self love and self esteem may be helpful for relationships

Regarding yourself as being reasonable person as you

27
Q

Sprecher (1999): changes in love and related affect over time

A

Good relationships essentially stay the same over long periods of time

Relationships: Some stay the same, and others get worse

28
Q

How to maintain a good long-term relationship…

A

To avoid the downward spiral from starting

29
Q

Rusbult’s investment model

A

Theory that use three factors: satisfaction, alternative, investment to explain why people stay with their long-term relationship partners

30
Q

Gender differences in married relationship

A

Men: bing married vs. Not married

Women: the quality of the relationship (happy vs. unhappy) seems more powerful

31
Q

Relationship-enhancing style of attribution

A

Good behaviour = internal attribution

Bad behaviour = external attribution

32
Q

Distress-maintaining style of attribution

A

Good behaviour = external attribution

Bad behaviour = internal attribution

33
Q

Thinking processes in couples

A

Optimistic

Devaluing alternatives

34
Q

Johnson & Rusbult (1989): rate attractiveness of potential dating partners

A

People in committed relationship gave low rating to the attractive possible dating partners

This suggests devaluation of alternative is a defensive response against the danger of becoming interested in someone else

People who failed to devalue alternatives, were more likely to break up

35
Q

Honesty is the best policy

A

People fall in love with an idealised version of each other and this illusion may be difficult to sustain over the long run

36
Q

Devaluating alternatives

A

Failed to devalue = break up

37
Q

Sexuality: Diamond (2003) based on her studies of female sexuality

A

Human form relationships based on attachment system and sex drive. They are separated systems

38
Q

Theories of sexuality (3)

A

Social constructionist theories
Evolutionary theory
Social exchange theory

39
Q

Social constructionist theories

A

Theories assert that attitudes and behaviours, including sexual desire and sexual behaviour, are strongly shaped by culture and socialisation

Emphasise that sexual attitudes and behaviour are shaped by cultural influences

40
Q

Evolutionary theory

A

Sex drive has been shaped by natural selection and that it’s forms thus tend to be innate

41
Q

Social exchange theory

A

Seek to understand social behaviour by analysing the costs and benefits of interacting with each other; it assumes that sex is resource that women have and men want

42
Q

Sex and gender

A

Men: have strong sex drive than women
- innate, biological needs

Women show more erotic plasticity than men

  • sex drives can be shaped by social, cultural
  • acts as gatekeeper who restrict sex and decide whether an when it will happen
43
Q

Coolidge effect

A

The sexually arousing power of a new partner greater than the appeal of a familiar partner

44
Q

Food for thought: Eating in front of a cute guy

A

Restraining one’s food intake may be more important to women seeking to make a good impression on a potential dating partner

Men retrain food intake as sen as politeness and general norms

45
Q

Homosexuality: Bem

A

Exotic becomes erotic

Labelling of nevousness as sexual arousal, leading to homosexual self identification

46
Q

Extradyadic sex

A

Having sex with someone other than one regular relationship partner such as a spouses or boy/girlfriend

47
Q

Extradyadic sex: DNA test

A

Between 5 - 15% of children are not biological related to their father, suggest the child is through extramarital sex

This is true that men in North America and Western Europe have been fooled into raising children who are not their own

48
Q

Reasons for straying

A

Men: desire novelty
Women: emotional attachment to lover

49
Q

Jealousy and possession: cultural perspectives

A

Jealousy is a product of social roles and exceptions

Society can modify jealousy but cannot effectively eliminate it

Sexual possessiveness is deeply rooted in human nature.
It is normal and natural to feel jealous if your partner has had sexual relations with someone else

50
Q

Evolutionary perspective: threat

A

Threat to man’s reproductive goal is the possibility the another man might make his wife pregnant

Women: possibility that man will become emotionally involved with someone else and therefore withhold crucial resources

51
Q

Evolutionary evidence: Buss et al. (1992)

A

Would it be worse for your partner to have a one night stand or a lasting emotionally intimate relationship?

Majority men objected the sexual infidelity and majority women objected to the emotional infidelity

52
Q

Causes of jealousy

A

Jealousy thus seems to be a product of both person and situation

False jealousy

53
Q

Jealousy and types of interloper

A

Interloper: the third person

People are more jealous when the interloper is more similar to the self

Research found both men and women seem to object more strongly to a male interloper than a female interloper

54
Q

Social reality

A

The more other people know about your partners infidelity, the more jealous and upsetting

55
Q

Culture and female sexuality

A

All known cultures seek to regulate sex in some ways

Cultural regulation is more directed at women because of erotic plasticity and paternity uncertainty

56
Q

Paternity uncertainty

A

The fact that men can’t be sure the children born to his female partner are his

57
Q

Female sexuality is focused on double standard of sexual morality…

A

Specific sexual behaviour is acceptable for men but immoral for women

58
Q

What makes us human?

A

Long term monogamous mating is more common among human then other species

Culture plays a role in monogamous
Culture gives permission for divorce
Culture influences love and sex

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