Childhood and Elderly Sexuality Flashcards
At what age do we generally think people start thinking about sexual activity/feelings?
adolescence
When do we generally think people stop having sexual activity/feelings? Men vs. women
Menopause (50-55): abrupt drop in estrogen levels
Andropause (a bit older): they have a gradual decline in hormone (testosterone) levels
What is the #1 reason that an older adult would no longer have sexual activity?
HEALTH
- medical conditions, medications, diseases (diabetes), mobility issues, fatigue, cancer, mental health (worry, stress, depression)
Barriers to sexuality in old age homes:
- how they walk to their rooms, have conjugal visits, couples not residing in the same room, unable to walk (how do they get condoms?) -> lessens the possibility of having sex
What is the main gender difference between elderly men and heterosexual women regarding a decrease in sexual activity?
- widows won’t be sexually active with other men
- women live longer than men, so men have more choices
Why do we have a cultural taboo about children’s and older adult sexuality?
we view the period between puberty and menopause/andropause as the time for reproduction: pairing sex with the biological ability to reproduce
society doesn’t value elderly people’s self-expression because it’s not necessarily genital
what is a big misconception that someone has when they see a child acting sexually?
that they have been sexually abused…. This not the case if they are happy, laughing, and smiling
What are yellow flags for child sexual abuse?
- Anxious, hostile, shaking, angry, impatient
- If a child insists on continuing the sexual behaviour with another child despite being told that it is not okay and the reasons why
What is the main takeaway from this lecture about how parents react to their children’s sexual behavior? Consequence of the taboo and limited data on normal sexual behaviour?
They are projecting adult motivations and intentions onto children’s sexual behaviour
Why do children play with others and pretend to make a baby after asking their parents?
They are VISUAL - they take in what their parents tell them and make a picture in their head
ex: touching bellies with a friend naked and saying “hey mom we’re making a baby!”
How do we gather data/information about childhood sexual behaviors?
Through surveys!
- surveying parents, teachers and undergraduate students (about their past)
- survey: big inventory of sexual behaviours
What is a limitation to the way we collect data/ information about childhood sexual behaviors?
Social desirability bias! - don’t want their kid to look bad
Children act differently at home vs. in a structured environment
how does attachment play a role in a child’s sexuality? When is it most prominent?
- 0-2 yrs old
- The attachment style that they develop with their primary caregivers influences their intimate relationships as adults
What does the Gender Identification model based on Piaget and Kohlberg represent?
- cognitive-developmental model
- Intellectual development - how a child goes through the different stages of understanding more complex concepts
Gender Identification: gender Awareness stage (2-3)
- Realizing there is a binary system
- Children notice that because of the way the environment is talking to them, the world is divided into boys and girls (boy and girl colours, toys - VISUAL)
- Having been told since the day they are born that they are a boy or a girl, they take these ideas and integrate them into their self concept
Nongenital sensual experiences
An infants body will react in two ways: pleasure and displeasure
The body will have reflects of an erection or vaginal lubrication if feeling pleasure
ex: being breastfed/changed/ given a bath = sensory experience -> typical that the penis will be in correction or vaginal lubrication
parents feel guilty or fearful about this but it’s JUST A REFLEX - adults are projecting adult motivations and intentions onto children sexual behaviour
Exploratory genital manipulation
children will touch any and every part of their body when they are able to (0-2) - will stick fingers everywhere
this is EXPLORATION! not stimulation or masturbation
Interpreting parent’s non-verbal reactions
If a child is touching their privates and is told by their mother not to touch there and the hand is taken away
- learn that there are places on their body they should not be touching
Language
- Correct language helps with self-concept - preventing unwanted nonconsensual touching
- “this is my penis and no one can touch it unless I say so”
Words like “peepee” and “cookie” don’t equip the child with a base and will require more explanation down the road
Gender Identification: Gender stability (3-4)
- child understands intellectually/cognitively that they are born a boy or a girl and will remain that into adulthood
Problem: when they see people who are not stereotypical gender conforming they are confused
- Ex: seeing a motorcycle biker with long hair, jeans, jewelry, beard -> they are CONFUSED
- “are you a boy or a girl?”
Gender Identification: Gender constancy (5-7)
- children realize that appearance isn’t necessarily indicative of being a boy or a girl
- Will understand that joe the biker is a boy regardless of long hair and jewelry
At what age are children the most sexually active behaviorally?
5 year olds
- parents must teach them social etiquette
Gender role socialization (3-7)
- they are more aware of being a boy and girl and act accordingly by what the environment is telling them to do
- Stereotypical phase: cause they use observational learning
- They may see peers be punished or made fun of for doing things that are gender non conforming like boys who insist on wearing a princess costume every day at daycare (fathers don’t tolerate this very well)
Exhibitionist stage (3-7)
- Majority of 2-3-4 yr olds like to be naked
- Ex: parading naked at a family holiday dinner, running naked in the neighbor’s sprinkler
Self-stimulation (3-7)
- As they discover what their bodies feel like with their hands touching it: “Oh when I touch this part it tickles and it kind of feels good” so they keep touching it
- This is self stimulation, not masturbation
- They know that if they touch their genitals it gives them a soothing, tickly, comforting feeling
How should a parent react to seeing their child self-stimulate?
They tend to freak out and project adult motivations and intentions onto children’s sexual behaviour
They should instead teach social etiquette:
- Recognize and acknowledge it: “Hey, I see you’ve got your hands in your pants. It feels good, doesn’t it?”
- Then say: “we don’t do that at the table, if you want to do that in your bedroom and then come down for dinner you can do that”
Problem: If a parent prohibits a child from doing something, they’ll do it in secret, hiding behind your back, and will feel guilty about it
Child Sex play (3-7)
In their play children introduce sexuality:
- They play doctor, and house, “I will show you mine if you show me yours” - they will ask their friends
- They are curious and want to compare whether their body is the same or different! SIMPLE at this age: there is no premeditation, it happens spontaneously
Its the game that’s important not the sexual element!
“Latency” or modesty (8-12)
- Freud’s Latency: kids would sublimate all their libidinal energy and put it toward school
- they actually still are just as sexually curious and behavioral, but by now they have learned the etiquette of living in a society
- Modestly: bath, shower, changing, changing room by themselves
- Protect their privacy a bit more, their bodies are changing
Masturbation
- They do it more, more consistently, by the end of 12 yrs old many children can stimulate themselves to orgasm
- Consistent finding: Boys masturbate more than girls and reach orgasm more frequently
- Because of the external aspect of the penis vs. the more hidden aspect of the clitoris within the vulva
Difference between how boys and girls discover masturbation:
Boys often discover masturbation from each other, read about it, or masturbate in groups (always a competition)
- Girls discover it by accident, don’t talk about masturbation, they talk about romance but not masturbation
- When they discover it they experience:
- A Fearful reaction - did I break something? Damage my body?
- Many girls/ women discover orgasm later in life
Other-sex sexual games and sexual contact (8-12)
This age group has incomplete or sometimes erroneous(incorrect) ideas about sex
- they will say jokes or say that they don’t understand but know will make people laugh as they as inappropriate
- Sex games: spin the bottle, truth or dare - rehearsing physically for adult sexuality
- Like being ‘forced to do something” in the guides of the game
- Obsessions with teen idols: Shawn Mendes
- Part of practicing and developing the feelings that go on with relationships, crushes
Gender segregation (homosociality) and same-sex sexual contact (8-12)
sports, pastimes, and hobbies will be separated between boys and girls
- sleepovers, parties, schoolyard -> same gender groups
Sexual curiosity with the same gender also may occur (practice for hetero couple in future)
- ex: kissing your best friend, roughhousing
*Same gender contact = not predictive of a gay, lesbian, or bisexual orientation in adulthood
What function does contact with the same gender serve? What does it teach kids?
younger (3-7): it is about comparing bodies and seeing if they are different or the same
older (8-12): a lot more cognitive sophistication of what is being learned through these sexual interactions with the same gender or not
- Reassures them of their body image, sexual identity, and sexual orientation in a comparison
- Sexual fantasies and imagery don’t kick in until after puberty
Sibling Sex
- Sexual contact with siblings and cousins of the same age
Problem: When there is a threat involved
- ex: An older sibling “You do what I tell you or I’ll tell mom and she’ll punish you” “Something bad will happen to you” - threatening
- kids of the same age have the same power
- Only a small percentage of kids have sexual contact that goes to intercourse before 13 - very rare
- Only a small percentage that involves force and goes to intercourse
Video: What’s at the core of social bias against the sexuality of older adults?
The pleasurable window (wtf- window to fornicate): thought to be for an elite group of individuals of a certain age, and the rest must endure decades of nothingness
Why is it important to talk to older adults about sexuality?
- Sexual satisfaction leads to life satisfaction, relationship satisfaction, mental and physical health, and happiness
- To promote sexual health
