Childhood and Elderly Sexuality

Question 1

At what age do we generally think people start thinking about sexual activity/feelings?

Answer 1

adolescence

Question 2

When do we generally think people stop having sexual activity/feelings? Men vs. women

Answer 2

Menopause (50-55): abrupt drop in estrogen levels

Andropause (a bit older): they have a gradual decline in hormone (testosterone) levels

Question 3

What is the #1 reason that an older adult would no longer have sexual activity?

Answer 3

HEALTH
- medical conditions, medications, diseases (diabetes), mobility issues, fatigue, cancer, mental health (worry, stress, depression)

Barriers to sexuality in old age homes:
- how they walk to their rooms, have conjugal visits, couples not residing in the same room, unable to walk (how do they get condoms?) -> lessens the possibility of having sex

Question 4

What is the main gender difference between elderly men and heterosexual women regarding a decrease in sexual activity?

Answer 4

• widows won’t be sexually active with other men
• women live longer than men, so men have more choices

Question 5

Why do we have a cultural taboo about children’s and older adult sexuality?

Answer 5

we view the period between puberty and menopause/andropause as the time for reproduction: pairing sex with the biological ability to reproduce

society doesn’t value elderly people’s self-expression because it’s not necessarily genital

Question 6

what is a big misconception that someone has when they see a child acting sexually?

Answer 6

that they have been sexually abused…. This not the case if they are happy, laughing, and smiling

Question 7

What are yellow flags for child sexual abuse?

Answer 7

• Anxious, hostile, shaking, angry, impatient
• If a child insists on continuing the sexual behaviour with another child despite being told that it is not okay and the reasons why

Question 8

What is the main takeaway from this lecture about how parents react to their children’s sexual behavior? Consequence of the taboo and limited data on normal sexual behaviour?

Answer 8

They are projecting adult motivations and intentions onto children’s sexual behaviour

Question 9

Why do children play with others and pretend to make a baby after asking their parents?

Answer 9

They are VISUAL - they take in what their parents tell them and make a picture in their head

ex: touching bellies with a friend naked and saying “hey mom we’re making a baby!”

Question 10

How do we gather data/information about childhood sexual behaviors?

Answer 10

Through surveys!
- surveying parents, teachers and undergraduate students (about their past)
- survey: big inventory of sexual behaviours

Question 11

What is a limitation to the way we collect data/ information about childhood sexual behaviors?

Answer 11

Social desirability bias! - don’t want their kid to look bad
Children act differently at home vs. in a structured environment

Question 12

how does attachment play a role in a child’s sexuality? When is it most prominent?

Answer 12

• 0-2 yrs old
• The attachment style that they develop with their primary caregivers influences their intimate relationships as adults

Question 13

What does the Gender Identification model based on Piaget and Kohlberg represent?

Answer 13

• cognitive-developmental model
• Intellectual development - how a child goes through the different stages of understanding more complex concepts

Question 14

Gender Identification: gender Awareness stage (2-3)

Answer 14

• Realizing there is a binary system
• Children notice that because of the way the environment is talking to them, the world is divided into boys and girls (boy and girl colours, toys - VISUAL)
• Having been told since the day they are born that they are a boy or a girl, they take these ideas and integrate them into their self concept

Question 15

Nongenital sensual experiences

Answer 15

An infants body will react in two ways: pleasure and displeasure
The body will have reflects of an erection or vaginal lubrication if feeling pleasure

ex: being breastfed/changed/ given a bath = sensory experience -> typical that the penis will be in correction or vaginal lubrication

parents feel guilty or fearful about this but it’s JUST A REFLEX - adults are projecting adult motivations and intentions onto children sexual behaviour

Question 16

Exploratory genital manipulation

Answer 16

children will touch any and every part of their body when they are able to (0-2) - will stick fingers everywhere
this is EXPLORATION! not stimulation or masturbation

Question 17

Interpreting parent’s non-verbal reactions

Answer 17

If a child is touching their privates and is told by their mother not to touch there and the hand is taken away
- learn that there are places on their body they should not be touching

Question 18

Language

Answer 18

• Correct language helps with self-concept - preventing unwanted nonconsensual touching
• “this is my penis and no one can touch it unless I say so”

Words like “peepee” and “cookie” don’t equip the child with a base and will require more explanation down the road

Question 19

Gender Identification: Gender stability (3-4)

Answer 19

• child understands intellectually/cognitively that they are born a boy or a girl and will remain that into adulthood

Problem: when they see people who are not stereotypical gender conforming they are confused
- Ex: seeing a motorcycle biker with long hair, jeans, jewelry, beard -> they are CONFUSED
- “are you a boy or a girl?”

Question 20

Gender Identification: Gender constancy (5-7)

Answer 20

• children realize that appearance isn’t necessarily indicative of being a boy or a girl
• Will understand that joe the biker is a boy regardless of long hair and jewelry

Question 21

At what age are children the most sexually active behaviorally?

Answer 21

5 year olds
- parents must teach them social etiquette

Question 22

Gender role socialization (3-7)

Answer 22

• they are more aware of being a boy and girl and act accordingly by what the environment is telling them to do
• Stereotypical phase: cause they use observational learning
• They may see peers be punished or made fun of for doing things that are gender non conforming like boys who insist on wearing a princess costume every day at daycare (fathers don’t tolerate this very well)

Question 23

Exhibitionist stage (3-7)

Answer 23

• Majority of 2-3-4 yr olds like to be naked
• Ex: parading naked at a family holiday dinner, running naked in the neighbor’s sprinkler

Question 24

Self-stimulation (3-7)

Answer 24

• As they discover what their bodies feel like with their hands touching it: “Oh when I touch this part it tickles and it kind of feels good” so they keep touching it
• This is self stimulation, not masturbation
• They know that if they touch their genitals it gives them a soothing, tickly, comforting feeling

Question 25

How should a parent react to seeing their child self-stimulate?

Answer 25

They tend to freak out and project adult motivations and intentions onto children’s sexual behaviour

They should instead teach social etiquette:
- Recognize and acknowledge it: “Hey, I see you’ve got your hands in your pants. It feels good, doesn’t it?”
- Then say: “we don’t do that at the table, if you want to do that in your bedroom and then come down for dinner you can do that”

Problem: If a parent prohibits a child from doing something, they’ll do it in secret, hiding behind your back, and will feel guilty about it

Question 26

Child Sex play (3-7)

Answer 26

In their play children introduce sexuality:
- They play doctor, and house, “I will show you mine if you show me yours” - they will ask their friends
- They are curious and want to compare whether their body is the same or different! SIMPLE at this age: there is no premeditation, it happens spontaneously

Its the game that’s important not the sexual element!

Question 27

“Latency” or modesty (8-12)

Answer 27

• Freud’s Latency: kids would sublimate all their libidinal energy and put it toward school
• they actually still are just as sexually curious and behavioral, but by now they have learned the etiquette of living in a society
• Modestly: bath, shower, changing, changing room by themselves
• Protect their privacy a bit more, their bodies are changing

Question 28

Masturbation

Answer 28

• They do it more, more consistently, by the end of 12 yrs old many children can stimulate themselves to orgasm
• Consistent finding: Boys masturbate more than girls and reach orgasm more frequently
• Because of the external aspect of the penis vs. the more hidden aspect of the clitoris within the vulva

Question 29

Difference between how boys and girls discover masturbation:

Answer 29

Boys often discover masturbation from each other, read about it, or masturbate in groups (always a competition)

• Girls discover it by accident, don’t talk about masturbation, they talk about romance but not masturbation
• When they discover it they experience:
• A Fearful reaction - did I break something? Damage my body?
• Many girls/ women discover orgasm later in life

Question 30

Other-sex sexual games and sexual contact (8-12)

Answer 30

This age group has incomplete or sometimes erroneous(incorrect) ideas about sex
- they will say jokes or say that they don’t understand but know will make people laugh as they as inappropriate

• Sex games: spin the bottle, truth or dare - rehearsing physically for adult sexuality
• Like being ‘forced to do something” in the guides of the game
• Obsessions with teen idols: Shawn Mendes
• Part of practicing and developing the feelings that go on with relationships, crushes

Question 31

Gender segregation (homosociality) and same-sex sexual contact (8-12)

Answer 31

sports, pastimes, and hobbies will be separated between boys and girls
- sleepovers, parties, schoolyard -> same gender groups

Sexual curiosity with the same gender also may occur (practice for hetero couple in future)
- ex: kissing your best friend, roughhousing
*Same gender contact = not predictive of a gay, lesbian, or bisexual orientation in adulthood

Question 32

What function does contact with the same gender serve? What does it teach kids?

Answer 32

younger (3-7): it is about comparing bodies and seeing if they are different or the same

older (8-12): a lot more cognitive sophistication of what is being learned through these sexual interactions with the same gender or not
- Reassures them of their body image, sexual identity, and sexual orientation in a comparison

• Sexual fantasies and imagery don’t kick in until after puberty

Question 33

Sibling Sex

Answer 33

• Sexual contact with siblings and cousins of the same age

Problem: When there is a threat involved
- ex: An older sibling “You do what I tell you or I’ll tell mom and she’ll punish you” “Something bad will happen to you” - threatening
- kids of the same age have the same power

• Only a small percentage of kids have sexual contact that goes to intercourse before 13 - very rare
• Only a small percentage that involves force and goes to intercourse

Question 34

Video: What’s at the core of social bias against the sexuality of older adults?

Answer 34

The pleasurable window (wtf- window to fornicate): thought to be for an elite group of individuals of a certain age, and the rest must endure decades of nothingness

Question 35

Why is it important to talk to older adults about sexuality?

Answer 35

• Sexual satisfaction leads to life satisfaction, relationship satisfaction, mental and physical health, and happiness
• To promote sexual health