Chapter Nine: Attraction and Relationships Flashcards

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1
Q

Social Psychologist Arthur Aron argues that a central human motivation is _____ _______, which is the desire to overlap or blend with another person. Why do people want this?

A
  • self-expansion
  • allows you to have access to the person’s knowledge, insight and experiences and thus broaden and deepen your own experiences in life
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2
Q

One of the simple determinants of interpersonal attraction is _______

A

proximity

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3
Q

Does propinquity effect work on a micro or macro level?

A

micro level

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4
Q

MIT housing complex study

A
  • tracked frienship formation among couples at MIT apartment complexes
  • randomly assigned, all strangers when they moved in
  • asked to name their three closest friends
  • 65% mentioned lived in the same building, 41% were next door neighbors, 22% lived two doors apart, 10% lived on opposite ends of the hall
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5
Q

Attraction and propinquity rely on _______ ______, which refers to aspects of architectural design that determine which people you cross paths with the most often

A

Functional distance

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6
Q

Propinquity works because of the ______ _____ ____; The more exposure we have to a stimulus, the more apt we are to like it

A

mere exposure effect

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7
Q

TRUE or FALSE: In all instances, familiarity leads to attraction regardless of whether or not it is face to face or online

A

FALSE: This is mostly true, however, there is an exception where if the person in question is obnoxious, the greater the exposure you have, the more you dislike them

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8
Q

Are we more attracted to people who are similar (people who are like us) or complimentary (people who are opposite to us)?

A

We are more attract to similarity, and less attracted to complementarity

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9
Q

Hundreds of studies have demonstrated that _______ in many domains is an important predictor of attraction in both friendships and romantic relationships.

A

Similarity

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10
Q

When similarity effects are obtained, they are most likely to be found for traits that are related to one’s ______, and are generally not as strong for ________.

A
  • values
  • personality
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11
Q

TRUE or FALSE: Personality similarity tends to be stronger when friendships are reciprocated

A

TRUE

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12
Q

Evidence suggests that romantic partners are similar in terms of _________ style.

A

attachment

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13
Q

For some people, similarity in terms of ______ _______ is a stronger predictor of attraction than is similarity of attitudes.

A

activity preferences

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14
Q

We are attracted to people who are similar to us in terms of ________ style and _______ skills

A
  • interpersonal
  • communication
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15
Q

Similarity effects tend to be stronger in ______ cultures

A

individualistic

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16
Q

Why is similarity so important in attraction?

A
  • we tend to think that people who are similar to us will be inclined to like us
  • people who are similar to us provide important social validation for our characteristics and beliefs
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17
Q

TRUE or FALSE: The more attracted we are to someone, the more similar we assume that person is to us.

A

TRUE

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18
Q

TRUE or FALSE: In long-term relationships, actual similarity predicts liking and attraction better than perceived similarity.

A

FALSE: perceived similarity predicts liking and attraction better than actual similarity

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19
Q

Similarity is far more important when people want a _____ and ______ relationship

A

serious and commited

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20
Q

______ ______ is one of the prime determinants of interpersonal attraction

A

reciprocal liking

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21
Q

Liking is so powerful it can even make up for the abscence of ________

A

similarity

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22
Q

Responsive vs unresponsive dating profiles

A

greater attraction to the person in the profile when their comments were responsive

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23
Q

Reciprocal liking can come about because of a ____-_______ _______.

A
  • self-fulfilling prophecy
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24
Q

Self-fulfilling prophecy reciprocal liking study

A
  • researchers led some students to believe they were liked by the student whom they’d be paired with, while others were led to believe they were NOT liked by the student they were paired with
  • students given opportunity to have a conversation
  • students who thought they were liked behaved in more likeable ways with they partner, resulting in their partners ending up liking them in comparison to the other group of students
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25
Q

TRUE or FALSE: reciprocal liking effects can only occur if you like yourself in the first place.

A

TRUE: people with negative self-concepts tend to be skeptical of others actually liking them, and therefore do not necessarily reciprocate liking.

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26
Q

Does physical attraction happen on an unconscious level?

A

Yes, research shows that automatic first impressions are influenced by the person’s appearance

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27
Q

Is personality or attractiveness a bigger predictor of desirability?

A

attractiveness

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28
Q

Are we aware of the value we place on looks?

A

Yes, but as long as we can get away with it we won’t admit it.

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29
Q

What 8 types of facial features makes a woman more attractive?

A
  • large eyes
  • small nose
  • small chin
  • prominent cheekbones
  • narrow cheeks
  • high eyebrows
  • large pupils
  • big smile
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30
Q

What 4 types of facial features makes a man more attractive?

A
  • large eyes
  • prominent cheekbones
  • large smile
  • large chin
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31
Q

A female face that is considered more beautiful has more ____ _____ features

A

baby face

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32
Q

Are smiling womens or smiling mens faces considered more attractive?

A

smiling woman

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33
Q

Are people’s perceptions of what is a beautiful or handsome face similar across cultures?

A

Yes

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34
Q

Baby and nurse study

A

neonatal nurses caring for premature babies responded to cuter babies resulting in them receiving better care (gained weight more quickly and were discharged sooner)

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35
Q

Good looking people earn ___-___% more than others

A

10-15%

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36
Q

What is a common assumption made about attractive people?

A

That they possess a host of desirable traits

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37
Q

Does the “what is beautiful is good” stereotype apply to all cultures?

A

Yes

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38
Q

What traits are attractiveness associated with?

A
  • sociable
  • extraverted
  • assertive
  • trustworthy
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39
Q

Suspension bridge experiment

A

If you’re on the suspension bridge you’ll more likely be aroused and think that you are attracted to the woman who gave you the phone number when in reality you are more aroused because of the bridge (misattribution of arousal)

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40
Q

Social compensation hypothesis

A

Believes online friendships are more likely to be formed by lonely, introverted people who lack the social skills to form relationships in person

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41
Q

Social enhancement hypothesis

A

suggests that people who are extraverted and have good social skills use the internet as another way to acquire more friends

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42
Q

Can relationships be formed exclusively online or is face to face contact eventually necessary?

A

If you want to further develop the relationship, then yes

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43
Q

According to research, are people happier with online friendships or in person friendships?

A

in person friendships

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44
Q

Unlike online relationships, face to face relationships are correlated with better ______.

A

health

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45
Q

Use of social media leads to ______ depth of online self disclosure to a close friend, which leads to greater depth of ______ disclosures, (more so with _______ social media use), which in turn contributes to _____ ____.

A
  • greater
  • offline
  • active (instant messaging)
  • friendship quality
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46
Q

The opportunity to find partners via internet and apps is most important to ________ individuals.

A

LQBTQIA2S+

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47
Q

Do people more often disclose information more quickly to a potential partner online or in person?

A

online

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48
Q

In online interactions, what two things are men more likely to lie about?

A

their height and how much money they make

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49
Q

In online interactions, what two things are women more likely to lie about?

A

Their age and weight

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50
Q

Do people perceive more deception in online communications or in person communications?

A

online communications

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51
Q

Is there much of a difference between meeting people online than in the old fashioned way?

A

meeting online is no higher than meeting the old fashioned way

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52
Q

What was Zick Rubin’s original definition of love?

A

feelings of intimacy, attachment and passion that feel distinct from liking someone

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53
Q

According to Ellen Berscheid, what are the four kinds of love?

A
  1. passion or romantic
  2. companionate (friendship based)
  3. compassionate
  4. attachment
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54
Q

Most of the research in psychology has been conducted on _____ love and ______ love.

A
  • passionate
  • companionate
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55
Q

What is passionate love characterized by?

A
  • obsessive thoughts
  • heightened physiological arousal where we feel sob and thumping in our chest
  • intense longing for that person
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56
Q

which two parts of the brain are active when someone is in love?

A
  • ventral tegmental area
  • claudate nucleus
  • these two parts are a circuit system
  • responsibly for reward and motivation, dopamine
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57
Q

According to research, is companionate love or passionate love better at capturing the meaning of love?

A

companionate love, furthermore, they relied on companionate love when deciding if a relationship was progressing or deteriorating

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58
Q

do people tend to agree on the meaning of love on a global scale?

A

Yes

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59
Q

Globally, ________ features of love are especially likely to be mentioned and consistently receive the highest importance in rating

A

companionate

60
Q

Between men and women, who is more likely to fall in love more quickly, believe in love at first sight, and endorse romantic beliefs?

A

men

61
Q

Between men and women, who holds a more practical, companionate orientation of love?

A

women

62
Q

Romantic love has less value in ______ societies than compared to ______ societies.

A
  • collectivist
  • individualist
63
Q

Is marrying for love more important in western culture or eastern?

A

western

64
Q

Is companionate love valued more in individualist culture or collectivist culture?

A

collectivist

65
Q

When it comes to love, what doe evolutionary psychologists believe?

A
  • reproduction the biggest drive
  • males has frequent pairings while females have less frequent
  • greater reproduction cost for women than for men
  • men look for a woman capable of reproducing successfully
  • women look for a man who can provide resources for her and her child
66
Q

Do women prefer older or same age men

A

older, same satisfaction

67
Q

Are women able to interpret a man’s intentions just by looking at their face?

A

Yes, a study showed that women could often tell if a guy was wanting casual sex based off of a picture

68
Q

What are the four types of attachment style?

A
  • secure
  • anxious
  • avoidant
  • anxious/ambivalent
69
Q

What is the key assumption of attachment theory?

A

it is that the particular attachment style we learn in infancy forms the basis of our expectations for what relationships are like.

70
Q

Attachment theory perspective for secure attachment styles

A
  • easily became close to other people
  • readily trusted others
  • have satisfying romantic relationships
71
Q

Attachment theory perspective for avoidant attachment styles

A
  • uncomfortable with getting close with others
  • found it difficult to trust others
  • have less satisfying romantic relationships
  • reduce closeness if outperformed by their partner
72
Q

Attachment theory perspective for anxious/ambivalent attachment styles

A
  • likely to be obsessive and preoccupied with their relationships
  • fearing that their partners didn’t want to be as intimate or close as they desired
  • fear of rejection
73
Q

Which attachment style has poorer overall physical and mental health?

A

anxious attachment style

74
Q

Anxious attachment styles and conflict

A
  • attachment anxiety correlated with high levels of conflict
  • anxiously attached ppl report more conflicts
  • have a lot more anxiety during interactions
75
Q

Attachment avoidance is associated with more _______ communication between partners and ______ sex between partners

A
  • negative
  • less
76
Q

coping strategies for secure attachment style

A

use active, task-centered strategies aimed at solving problems, associated with marital well being

77
Q

coping strategies for avoidant attachment style

A

use passive, avoidant strategies

78
Q

coping strategies for ambivalent attachment style

A

passive, emotion-fused strategies, associated with marital distress

79
Q

When a relationship end for someone with anxious attachment style, what is their associated with?

A

associated with more rumination, brooding, preoccupation, regret, and less positive judgement to the breakup

80
Q

Can we have different attachment styles with different people in our lives?

A

Yes

81
Q

Does your overall attachment style change your attachment to specific partners, or vice versa?

A

attachment in any particular relationship is less likely to change your overall style; attachment to specific partners changed in the direction of global overall attachment

82
Q

research suggests that attachment styles may best be conceptualized as ______ rather than as stable personality traits. Why?

A
  • schemas
  • because it is not impossible to change your attachment style, people can learn new and healthy ways of relating to others than they did in infancy
83
Q

What are the basic concepts of social exchange theory?

A

reward
cost
outcome
comparison level
comparison level for alternatives

84
Q

______ are the positive, gratifying aspects of the relationship that make it worthwhile

A

Rewards

85
Q

What do rewards in a relationship include?

A

It includes the positive personal characteristics and behavior of your relationship partner (eg. similarity, attractiveness, sense of humor), and your ability to require resources by virtue of knowing this person (eg. money, status, activities, or other interesting people

86
Q

How happy you are in your relationship is based on a calculation of the ___/____ _____ as well as your ______ level

A
  • reward/cost ratio
  • comparison
87
Q

High comparison level vs low comparison level

A

high comparison level expects to receive many rewards and few costs in the relationship, while low comparison level expect relationships to be difficult and costly

88
Q

Who is more likely to get out of a relationship, people with a high comparison level for alternatives, or people with low comparison level for alternatives?

A

people with a high comparison level for alternatives, for they think that they can find better, whereas those with a low comparison level think that they can’t find better

89
Q

In the investment model, what three things do we need to know in order to predict whether or not the relationship will last?

A
  1. how satisfied they are in the relationship (eg. level of rewards minus costs)
  2. Whether they believe that attractive alternatives are available
  3. the extent of their investment in the relationship
90
Q

When it comes to the social exchange theory, what do researchers believe the theory isn’t accounting for?

A

the notion of fairness (equity theory)

91
Q

When it comes to equity theory, it is believed that equitable relationships are more ____ and ____, while inequitable relationships result in one person feelings _________ or _______

A
  • happy
  • stable
  • over benefited (lots of rewards, few costs, devoting little time or energy into the relationship)
  • under benefited (few rewards, lots of cost, devoting lots of time and energy to the relationship)
92
Q

does the over benefited or under benefited person in a relationship find the relationship most problematic?

A

the under benefited person

93
Q

Are long term intimate relationships governed more by a looser give and take notion of equity or by a rigid tit-for-tat strategy?

A

looser give and take notion

94
Q

Close relationships can have either _____ or _____ properties

A
  • exchange
  • communal
95
Q

family and romantic relationships typically have _____ properties, while acquaintances are typically based on ____ properties

A
  • communal
  • exchange
96
Q

What four things are exchange relationships governed by?

A
  1. like to be repaid immediately for favours
  2. feel exploited when favours are not returned
  3. keep track of who is contributing what to the relationship
  4. Being able to help the person has no effect on mood
97
Q

What four things are communal relationships governed by?

A
  1. Don’t like to be repaid immediately for favours
  2. Don’t feel exploited when favours are not repaid
  3. Don’t keep track of who is contributing to the relationship
  4. being able to help the person puts one in a good mood
98
Q

A critical feature of communal relationships is:

A

the perception that the other person will respond to one’s needs with behaviours that communicate understanding and caring

99
Q

What do people do to preserve their relationship when an attractive alternative partner comes along?

A

We protect our relationship by convincing ourselves that we really aren’t attracted to this person, the more committed one is to the relationship, the less attractive they find that person

100
Q

What will those who are high in relationship identification (your relationship is a big part of your identity) do when they encounter an attractive alternative partner?

A

let them know right away that they are “taken” and spend less time looking at photos of attractive people

101
Q

How do men and women differ in responding to attractive alternatives?

A
  • women react by shoring up their commitment to their current partner
  • men are less likely to do this unless they receive coaching on how to protect their relationships
  • both parties can also “re-live” and experience that they had with the partner they love
102
Q

When someone is highly committed to their partner, do they rate their wrongdoings as more or less severe?

A

less severe

103
Q

Who are more likely to respond to relationship transgressions with constructive, accommodating responses, men or women?

A

women

104
Q

The more committed we are, the more likely we are to be ________.

A

forgiving

105
Q

What are people likely to assume when one partner is better looking than the other?

A

That the better looking partner is less likely to commit, this belief is much stronger when it comes to the woman being better looking in the relationship

106
Q

If you don’t want to experience the stress of people trying to snatch you or your partner away in the relationship, what should you do?

A

Choose someone at about the same level of attractiveness as yourself (which people usually do anyways)

107
Q

People more forgiving towards their partners are more ________ in the relationshipq

A

satisfied

108
Q

When someone experiences doubt in their relationship, they may maintain the relationship by indulging in ______ _______.

A

positive illusions

109
Q

What are some ways that people may indulge in positive illusions?

A
  • deal with doubts and uncertainties by weaving stories in which their partner’s flaws are reinterpreted as virtues
  • finding redeeming qualities in partner’s faults
  • hold idealistic views of partner
110
Q

Are men or women more likely to indulge in positive illusions?

A

women

111
Q

When partners idealize each other, is there greater or lesser satisfaction in the relationship?

A

greater satisfection

112
Q

Are the positive effects of idealization short lasting or long lasting?

A

long lasting

113
Q

Is idealization more likely to occur in friendships or romantic relationships?

A

romantic relationships

114
Q

Relationships in which partners idealize one another are most likely to ______. They experience greater _______ and less ____ and ____.

A
  • endure
  • satisfaction
  • conflicts
  • doubts
115
Q

TRUE or FALSE: Those who idealize their partners ultimately created the partners they wished for

A

TRUE

116
Q

What three things are required in order for idealization to have the most beneficial effects for a relationship?

A
  • problems are relatively minor
  • partners are socially skilled
  • both are committed to the relationship
117
Q

When partners have serious relationship difficulties, the relationship fares better when the partners adopt a more ________ stance.

A

realistic

118
Q

A major way in which people self expand is through the formation of _______

A

relationships

119
Q

What is boredom in a relationship associated with?

A

less enjoyment, less excitement, and lower relationship satisfaction

120
Q

What can be done to keep relationships from being stale and uninteresting?

A

engage in shared activities that are novel, arousing, interesting, exciting and challenging

121
Q

what does self expanding do when it comes to sexual desire and long term sexual satisfaction?

A

felt more sexual desire, more likely to have sex, reported higher sexual satisfaction

122
Q

In Canada, roughly __% of marriages end in divorce

A

40%

123
Q

Which relationships are less likely to last, heterosexual or homosexual?

A

homosexual

124
Q

What are the nine common reasons that marriages end?

A
  1. financial difficulties
  2. lower socioeconomic status
  3. unemployment (especially if it’s the husband in a heterosexual relationship)
  4. Younger age at marriage
  5. Premarital pregnancy
  6. Parental divorce
  7. low level of religiosity
  8. alcohol abuse
  9. step children
125
Q

It is thought that many of the reasons marriage ends is associated with an accumulation of _______.

A

Stress

126
Q

TRUE or FALSE: Relationships are not influenced by lack of supported by family and friends

A

FALSE: relationships not supported by family and friends are more likely to end

127
Q

If spouses, friends, or dating partners become _______ the relationship is vulnerable to dissolution

A

dissimilar

128
Q

in one study, 30% of breakups were classified as fatal attractions. What does this mean?

A

qualities that were initially attractive became the very reasons why the relationship ended

129
Q

Fatal attractions were most likely to occur for qualities on which the partners were _______

A

dissimilar

130
Q

According to social exchange theorists, why are relationships most likely to end?

A
  • rewards are low and the cost is high
  • attractive alternatives are available to one or both partners
  • partners have invested little in the relationship
131
Q

TRUE or FALSE: people tend to not give boredom as the reason for ending a relationship

A

TRUE

132
Q

What is the top reason for wanting to end a relationship?

A

breach of trust

133
Q

When it comes to breakups, the pain is generally greatest for the person being _______

A

rejected

134
Q

According to research, in what instance will people stay in a relationship that they actually want to end?

A

If their partner is dependent on them and would be highly distressed if they broke up

135
Q

In what ways can taking your partners feelings into consideration be considered good or bad?

A

good in that you’re able to ride out the rough patches and restore the relationship; bad if it keeps you trapped in an unhappy relationship

136
Q

When it comes to breaking up with someone, people tend to use _____ _____ strategies

A

passive avoidance strategies

137
Q

What are the four types of passive avoidance strategies used for ending relationships?

A
  1. withdrawal/avoidance
  2. positive tone (e.g. trying to prevent “hard feelings”)
  3. manipulative strategies (e.g. trying to get a third party to deliver the bad news)
  4. open confrontation
138
Q

Which passive avoidance strategy are people most likely to use for ending a relationship?

A

positive tone strategies

139
Q

Withdrawal/avoidance strategies are used more on ending ______, while open confrontation is used more for ending ______ _____.

A
  • friendships
  • romantic relationship
140
Q

Which relationship is less likely to “fade away,” friendship or romantic?

A

friendship

141
Q

What 4 things are associated with breakups?

A
  1. Depression
  2. Anxiety
  3. Risk of physical illness
  4. economic hardship
142
Q

What is the single most powerful predictor of reactions to breakups?

A

whether you were the one who did the breaking up, or whether you were the one who got “dumped”

143
Q

Name factors that influence the degree of distress one experiences in a break up?

A

less distressed if they were interested in an alternative variable
more distressed if attractive alternatives were available to your partner
more distressed if you experience higher levels of satisfaction in the relationship
the more you creep your partner on social media the more distress you experience

144
Q

How to make a positive transition into singlehood

A

lowest levels of depression were found among people who didn’t focus on what was wrong with the relationship or who was to blame, but rather focused on what they had learned from the relationship and the ways in which they had grown as a person because of the relationship.

145
Q

TRUE or FALSE: As painful as breakups can be, people truly do get over them

A

TRUE

146
Q
A