Chapter 9 Flashcards
Similarity Thesis
Comfort from knowing that someone likes the same things as you, similar values, same race, economic class or educational standing
Relationship Factors
Appearance, Similarity, Complementary, Rewards, Competency, Proximity, Disclosure
Exchange Theory
We often seek out people who can give us rewards that are greater than or equal to the cost encountered in dealing with them
Comparison Level
Minimum standard of behavior that is acceptable
Comparison level of alternatives (CLallt)
A comparison between rewards being received currently and ones expected to receive in others
Relational Maintenance
Communication aimed at keeping relationships operating smoothly and satisfactorily
Relationship stages
Initiating, Experimenting, Intensifying, Integrating, Bonding, Differentiating, Circumscribing, Stagnating, Avoiding, Terminating
Initiating
Show that you are interested in making contact.
Demonstrate that you are a person worth talking to
Experimenting
Searching for common ground
“Do you like tacos? I like tacos too!”
Intensifying
Spending increasing amounts of time together
Integrating
Begin to take an identity as a social unit. Sharing each other’s commitments
Bonding
Partners make symbolic gestures to the world that their relationship exists
Differentiating
Finding themselves needing to reestablish themselves as individuals.
Circumscribing
Communication decreases in quantity and quality
Stagnating
A hollow shell of its former self.
No feeling or growth occur
Avoiding
People in a relationship try to create distance between each other.
Terminating
The final stage of deterioration
Dialectical tensions
Conflict that arise when two opposing or incompatible forces exist simultaneously
Integration-separation dialect
Conflicting desires for connection and independence
Connection-autonomy dialectic
We want to be close to others, but we seek independence
Inclusion-seclusion dialectic
Struggle to reconcile a desire for involvement with the “outside world” with the desire to live their own lives, free from the interference of others.
Accepting an invitation to a party on the weekend
Stability-change dialectic
Operates both between partners and when they face others outside the relationship.
Predictability- novelty dialectic
Not wanting a completely unpredictable partner and not wanting to become bored
Conventionality-uniqueness dialectic
Challenges that people in a relationship face when trying to meet others’ expectations as well as their own
Expression-privacy dialectic
Along with drive for intimacy, the need to maintain space between ourselves and others.
Openness-closedness dialectic
Internal struggle between expression and privacy
Revelation-concealment dialectic
Conflicts between openness and privacy that operate externally
Strategies for Managing Dialectical Tensions
Denial, Disorientation, Alternation, Segmentation, Balance, Integration, Recalibration, Reaffirmation
Metacommunication
Describe messages that refer to other messages
Discussing relationships
Relational Transgressions
When one partner violates the terms of the relationship
