Chapter 7 Parenting Videos

Question 1

According to the 1, 2, 3 Magic technique, how should you think of your kids and yourself?

Answer 1

Rather than thinking of your kids as little adults, think of them as wild animals, and of yourself as a wild animal trainer

Question 2

What kind of behaviours does 1, 2, 3 Magic control?

Answer 2

“Stop” behaviours

Question 3

How to use the 1, 2, 3 Magic technique?

Answer 3

• When kid does something wrong, calmly say “That’s 1”
• If behaviour continues, say “That’s 2”
• If behaviour continues, say “That’s 3, take 5” (or whatever amount of time), then send them to their room for a 5-minute time-out
• when kids come out of their room, don’t talk/lecture them about their behaviour

Question 4

What does 1, 2, 3 Magic recommend when siblings are fighting?

Answer 4

• count them both
• don’t ask who started it
• never expect the older one to be more mature

Question 5

Pros and cons of 1, 2, 3 Magic

Answer 5

• pros: good for short-term compliance; simple system; cuts down on potentially hostile verbal interactions because of the no talking/lecturing rule
• cons: because of the no talking rule parents lose the opportunity to use inductive discipline and teach/explain to kids why certain behaviours are wrong; because this is a very punishment-based system I think it just creates temporary solutions and won’t be effective in the long run

Question 6

What does Winning at Parenting believe you should teach your kids?

Answer 6

• to like themselves
• to think for themselves
• that there’s no problem so great it can’t be solved

Question 7

According to Winning at Parenting, how can you help your kids like themselves, think for themselves, and problem-solve?

Answer 7

• giving them age-appropriate choices to make

- unless the kid’s decisions are life-threatening, let them make the decisions

Question 8

Winning at Parenting’s 3 philosophical tenants

Answer 8

1. Kids are worth it
2. I won’t do anything to a kid that I wouldn’t want done to me
3. What’s my goal as a parent?

Question 9

Winning at Parenting’s 3 approaches to parenting

Answer 9

• Brick wall: setting rigid rules - teaching kids what to think, not how to think
• Jellyfish: anything goes, no structure, or allowing kids to make decisions because parents are absent/never around
• Backbone: more flexible than a brick wall, but more structured than a jellyfish, giving kids responsibilities and decision-making skills

Question 10

Why does Winning at Parenting believe you shouldn’t say no? What are the alternatives?

Answer 10

• no is control
• 3 alternatives: “yes, later”, “give me a minute” (to think), “convince me”
• this helps kids develop their own backbone

Question 11

According to Winning at Parenting, what should you do when you need your child to do something?

Answer 11

• tell the kid what needs to be done, then have them repeat it back to you
• if it doesn’t get done, enforce logical consequences consistently to provide structure for your child

Question 12

Pros and cons of Winning at Parenting

Answer 12

• pros: establishes structure; allows kids to think for themselves and make their own decisions
• cons: may not be effective with very young children who aren’t ready to make their own decisions