Chapter 3 Flashcards

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1
Q

dating vs. mate selection

A
  • dating is fun, meant for entertainment; choosing people we like and find attractive
  • mate selection is the process of choosing your life partner; choosing people with attributes like stability; leads to marriage or marriage-like cohabitation with intention of permanence
  • there is overlap between the two
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2
Q

dating in the past

A
  • dates were chaperoned and considered a serious commitment to marriage
  • courtship enabled individuals to refine gender roles (men were initiators, planners, and payers)
  • dating was rite of passage and gave you status
  • after WW1, dating was much less supervised
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3
Q

dating today

A
  • women have more of a direct role
  • dating is much less formal
  • group activities/”hanging out” became common
  • technology became source of meeting people (and allows for more privacy)
  • goal of dating has shifted to having fun and meeting new people rather than choosing a life partner
  • in early stages of dating, gender roles still tend to be more traditional
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4
Q

4 stages of courtship

A
  • casual dating
  • steady dating
  • engagement
  • marriage
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5
Q

hooking up

A
  • common/on the rise on college campuses
  • getting together for a physical encounter without expecting anything further
  • hookup partner is usually friend or an ex
  • 1/3 hope it’ll lead to more conventional dating relationship/initiate dating
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6
Q

4 main functions of dating

A
  • gaining status
  • socialization
  • recreation
  • mate selection
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7
Q

same-sex dating

A
  • little research available
  • may be a more difficult process for gay and lesbian people: harder to recognize potential partners, don’t have access to enough potential partners
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8
Q

wedding rings, engagement rings, promise rings

A
  • originally a sign of property - you’re “owned” by your boyfriend/husband
  • shows status/wealth and husband’s ability to provide for wife
  • men’s wedding rings showed employers they were stable, committed, and had a family to provide for, so it was worthwhile to train them
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9
Q

6 theories of attraction

A
  • propinquity theory
  • similarity theory
  • filter theory
  • complementary theory
  • stimulus-value-role theory
  • psychological reactance theory
  • biosocial theory
  • social exchange theory
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10
Q

propinquity theory

A
  • we are attracted to those around us
  • repeated contact (familiarity) causes us to like an individual
  • with technology, propinquity is less important (but you still have to be on the same site at the same time)
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11
Q

similarity theory

A
  • “like attracts like”/”birds of a feather flock together”
  • assortative mating/homogamy (same personality traits and demographics)
  • we like similarity because it helps us feel understood and validated
  • homogamy less important to same-sex couples
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12
Q

filter theory

A
  • we go through various filters when finding the person we want to spend our life with
  • gender -> proximity -> sex ratio -> inside/outside social group (endogamy/exogamy) -> homogamy (age, race, religion, etc.) -> value and role similarity
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13
Q

complementary theory

A
  • “opposites attract”
  • little evidence that complementary personalities cause attraction
  • complementary interests and behaviours are attractive
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14
Q

assortative mating/homogamy

A

choosing individuals with traits similar to ours (ie. personality traits, demographics, etc.)

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15
Q

interracial dating

A
  • interracial dating on the rise
  • occurs among more than 1/2 of African-American, Latino, and white study participants
  • interracial marriages however, are rare - 3.2% in 2001
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16
Q

stimulus-value-role theory

A
  • stimulus stage: initially attracted to external attributes
  • value stage: determine if attitudes, interests, and beliefs match (by asking questions or setting up “tests”)
  • role stage: assessing each other as long term partners (assessing your partner and yourself in comparison to the person you want them to be and the person you want to be)
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17
Q

psychological reactance

A
  • we like people we cannot have
  • reverse psychology
  • internal barrier (playing hard to get) or external barrier (parental disapproval)
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18
Q

problem with getting a date

A
  • even with technology, people are still at a disadvantage if they don’t fit the norm for attractiveness
  • easy to lie online about age, weight, relationship status, etc.
  • stigma exists with online dating
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19
Q

interference

A
  • most Canadians practice free choice dating
  • however, our choices are constrained by the approval of our friends and family
  • people more satisfied with relationship if it’s been approved by their social network
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20
Q

violence and coercion

A
  • initiators and victims (male and female) had more sexual partners and a history of childhood victimization than those not coerced or coercing
  • Almost a quarter of both males and females report some form of sexual coercion before age 14 - females moreso than males
  • Anitoch college was one of the first colleges to establish a strict verbal consent policy
  • sexual assault on campus due to things like male privilege, drug/alcohol use, etc.
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21
Q

sexual coercion and its 2 big strategies

A
  • being forced by another to have sex of any kind or engage in sexual touching
  • strategies: guilt and intoxication
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22
Q

honour killing

A
  • female family member murdered by her male family members (sometimes w/assistance of female family members) due to transgression of family honour
  • examples of transgression: failing to cover hair, face, or body; dating someone the family deems inappropriate, etc.
23
Q

biosocial theory

A
  • based on evolutionary perspective
  • women are more selective and favour partners with resources to contribute to offspring
  • men are less selective and it’s advantageous for them to have as many children as possible to spread their genetics
  • men are attracted to physical attractiveness; women are attracted to resources
24
Q

social exchange theory

A
  • we are going to choose person with the most profit
  • assumes humans are motivated by self-interest to maximize profit and minimize loss
  • assumes we always make choices rationally (but we don’t… ie. emotional decisions)
  • if all choices are bad, we’ll go with least terrible one
  • also considers time (what’s best in short and long run)
  • salience - weighing pros and cons by ranking the ideal traits from highest to lowest
25
Q

2 exchange theory concepts

A
  • Comparison level

- Comparison level of alternatives

26
Q

comparison level

A
  • measuring our satisfaction by comparing what we have now to the ideal, what others in our same situation have, or what we’ve had in the past
  • if now/what we have is better, we’ll be satisfied
27
Q

comparison level of alternatives

A
  • measuring our options

- if we have lots of options, we can afford to be selective; if we have few options, we must be dependent on our choices

28
Q

high sex ratio

A
  • more men than women
  • societies tend to be more traditional with high sex ratios, and rate of marriage increases
  • women will raise their standards when choosing a mate to avoid being deceived by men who only want short term relationships
29
Q

low sex ratio

A
  • more women than men
  • can reduce marriage for one group or another (marriage squeeze)
  • men will raise their standards when choosing a mate
30
Q

marriage squeeze

A
  • marriage reduced for a given group due to lack of available partners
  • social norms (like the mating gradient) can also cause certain groups to be squeezed out of marriage - ie. successful women, men with low social status
31
Q

mating gradient

A

women seek men of higher or similar status and men seek women of similar or lower status

32
Q

which body type to men and women prefer

A
  • women are attracted to men who look strong and dominant when ovulating (these men presumably have better genetics to pass on to offspring)
  • when not ovulating, there is a tendency to go for scrawnier men (who seem more committed and intelligent, as this is now the measure of success)
  • men are attracted to women who outwardly exhibit health and the potential to bear offspring successfully (ex. young, curvy women or women with wider hips)
33
Q

how is dating linked to social status?

A

if you’re in a relationship, your social status is higher than that of a single person because it’s evident that you’re seen as desireable

34
Q

arranged marriages

A
  • having someone other than the individual who will be married select the dating partner
  • purpose: to start a family and skip/shorten dating process
  • it’s assumed that the people will fall in love eventually due to their similarities (ie. social status, wealth, etc.) and the mistakes a young person might make if they marry for love initially will be avoided
35
Q

dating and sex

A
  • sex has been de-linked from marriage, whereas traditionally it was only supposed to occur after marriage
  • premarital sex is occurring, but the rates depend on age, gender, and ethnicity
36
Q

4 attitudes about premarital sex

A
  • abstinence: sex should only occur after marriage, not while dating
  • permissiveness with affection: premarital sex is okay if the people are in love (most teens support this)
  • permissiveness without affection: premarital sex is okay even if the people aren’t in love (more men support this than women)
  • double-standard: believing that women should only practice permissiveness with affection whereas men can practice permissiveness without affection
37
Q

non-verbal flirting behaviours

A
  • courtship readiness cues (ex. showing off muscles)
  • preening behaviours (ex. fixing hair and makeup)
  • positional cues (ex. leaning towards the person)
  • actions of appeal or invitation (ex. gazing, displaying an open hand to invite hand-holding)
  • men typically only initiate conversation after women have signalled interest by repeatedly looking and them. They’re more likely to talk to an average-looking woman who signals interest than a beautiful one who doesn’t
38
Q

non-verbal rejection behaviours

A
  • leaning away
  • crossing one’s arms over one’s chest
  • frowning
  • picking at teeth or nails
39
Q

sexual coercion vs. sexual assault vs. sexual imposition vs. sexual harrassment

A
  • coercion: forced by someone else to have sex or sexual contact
  • assault: non-consensual sexual acts (ie. penetration of any kind)
  • imposition: non-consensual sexual touching
  • harassment: unwanted sexual attention, including sexually threatening or offensive behaviour
40
Q

6 types of love

A
  • eros
  • ludus
  • storge
  • mania
  • agape
  • pragma
  • men score higher on ludus; women score higher on storge and pragma
41
Q

eros

A

intense, physical love; focused on attractiveness of partner

42
Q

ludus

A

playing the field; juggling several partners at once

43
Q

storge

A

love based on friendship that grows into a lasting commitment

44
Q

mania

A

obsessive, possessive love where someone feels out of control

45
Q

agape

A

selfless and altruistic love

46
Q

pragma

A

practical love where one carefully considers another’s attributes (ie. education level, age) to find best match

47
Q

equity theory

A
  • groups will reward members who treat others equally and punish members who treat others inequitably -> the more you contribute to a relationship, the more you should get out of it
  • individuals in inequitable relationships will feel distressed and attempt to eliminate distress by restoring equity
48
Q

in equity theory, if you increase contributions but your partner doesn’t what happens?

A
  • you’ll both feel distress in different ways
  • overbenefitter (person who’s getting more than they should) feels guilty
  • underbenefitter (person who’s getting less than they should) feels unappreciated and used
49
Q

radiating effect of beauty

A

when you’re dating someone attractive, people believe you must have some positive traits that make you a desireable partner

50
Q

wedding ring effect

A
  • married men or unavailable men are more desireable to women than single men
  • being married/in a relationship symbolizes that a man has valuable attributes (he must be rich, kind, committed, etc.)
51
Q

exogamy

A

marriage outside a social group (ie. a Christian marrying a Muslim)

52
Q

endogamy

A

marriage inside a social group (ie. a Christian marrying a Christian)

53
Q

Heterogamy

A

selecting a partner who is unlike ourselves