Chapter 4 Flashcards
Field of eligibles
Purpose?
All the individuals who meet a person’s criteria as a potential romantic partner
Determines whom you rule out or rule in as a potential romantic partner
Enables you to direct your energy in those relationships that are most likely to succeed in satisfying your needs
Matching hypothesis
The theory that people tend to seek romantic and sexual partners who possess a level of physical attractiveness similar to their own
Proximity effect
The theory that the closer you are to another person in geographical distance, the greater the probability that you will grow to like or even love the person
Mere exposure effect
The psychological principle that humans appear to have a natural and usually unconscious tendency to grow fonder of a “novel stimulus” the more often they are exposed to it
Flirting
Subtle behaviors designed to signal sexual or romantic interest in another person
Flirting 5 steps
Approach Talk Swivel and turn touch Synchronization
Reciprocity of love
The idea that someone you like or love likes or loves you back— reciprocates your feelings— with approximately the same degree of intensity
Triangular theory of love
Robert Sternberg’s theory that three fundamental component of love— intimacy, passion, and commitment— in various combinations define the qualities of a relationship
Triangular love combinations?
Intimacy= Liking Passion= infatuation Commitment= empty love
Intimacy+ passion = romantic love
Passion+ commitment= fatuous love
Commitment+ intimacy=companionate love
Intimacy+ passion+ commitment =consummate love
Infatuation
Love based on passion but lacking intimacy and commitment
Usually very sexually charged but shallow and devoid of much meaning
Empty love
Love based on commitment but lacking intimacy or real passion
Romantic love
Love based on intimacy and passion but lacking commitment
Fatuous love
Love based on passion and commitment but lacking intimacy
A foolish or pointless love
Companionate love
Love based on true intimacy and commitment but lacking passion
The partners are companions more than lovers
Consummate love
Love that encompasses intimacy, passion, and commitment simultaneously
Styles of love
Lee’s theory that people follow individual psychological motifs or styles in relating to a love partner
Eros love (intensely romantic love)
An erotic, passionate style of love often characterized by short-lived relationships
Ludus love (game-playing love)
A style of love that focuses on the excitement of forming a relationship more than the relationship itself and typically moves rapidly from one relationship to another
Storge love (friendship love)
A love style characterized by caring and friendship
Mania love (obsessive love)
A possessive, dependent, and often controlling style of love
Pragma love (practical love)
A love style in which partners are selected in a businesslike way on the basis of rational, practical criteria
Agape love (selfless love )
A style of love focused on giving the partner whatever he or she may want or need without the expectations of receiving anything in return
Complaining
Expressing an unmet need, something a person desires but is not receiving from a partner
Patterns of effective communication
3?
Validating communication pattern
Volatile communication pattern
Conflict-avoiding communication pattern
Criticism
Verbal fault-finding, such as commenting on a character flaw in the partner
Contempt
Disrespect disgust, or hate expressed when the positive feeling partners once had for each other have dissipated
Stonewalling
Relying on a passive form of power and aggression by being unresponsive when disagreements and disputes erupt
Communication warning signs ?
5?
Criticism Complaining Contempt Defensiveness Stonewalling
Improving and understanding intimate communication
5 keys?
Decide don’t slide Do your part Make it sad to connect Open the doors to positive connection Nurture your commitment
Sexual self disclosure
Revealing private sexual thoughts and feelings to another person
10 reasons why relationships fail
1-5
- Lack of self-knowledge
- acceptance of sexual myths and stereotypes
- Ineffective communication
- Imbalance of decision making power
- Low self-esteem, insecurity, and lack of self-confidence
10 reasons why relationships fail
6-10
- Isolation
- Failing to keep promises, lying, or cheating
- Excessive jealousy
- Controlling behaviors
- Abuse and violence
Normal jealousy
Jealousy based on a real threat to the relationship, as when one partner discovers that the other has been sexually unfaithful
Pathological jealousy
Jealousy felt within one partner despite the fact that no threat to the relationship actually exists
Types of relationship abuse
Physical abuse
Verbal abuse
Emotional abuse
Cycle of abuse
The repetitive pattern of stages that define most abusive and violent relationships, cycling through the honeymoon stage, the tension-building phase, and the explosion of violence, followed by a return to the honeymoon stage
