Chapter 11 - Relationships Flashcards
Ostracized
The act of excluding or ignoring. Often used as social punishment. Human’s are social animals, therefore, it is more harmful than bullying. It hurts more when one also has anxiety or is young.
Proximity
We are more likely to build relationships with people geographically close to each other.
Mere exposure
The more you encounter someone, the more likely you are to like them.
Matching phenomenon
People tend to pair off with someone who is their physical attractiveness. If a couple seems mis-matched, then the less attractive person probably is making up for it in other ways that they offer the relationship (personality, wealth, etc.).
Physical-attractiveness stereotype
The idea that “what is beautiful is good.”
Similarity vs complementarity
The more similar someone attitudes are to your own, the more likely you are to like a person. On the other hand, complementarity may develop over time, but does not necessarily breed initial attraction.
Ingratiation
Someone speaking kindly because they have ulterior motives or are trying to get something from us. We may perceive flattery this way.
Reward theory of attraction
We like those who we associate with rewards.
Passionate love
A state of intense longing for union with another. When you both love and are /in love/ with someone. General arousal can have this effect. “Adrenaline makes the heart grow fonder.”
Companionate love
A lower-key, deep, affectionate love. Feelings of attachment and trust. Lifetime love.
Secure attachment
A trusting attachment style developed in infancy where a child is soothed quickly when their parent returns. This develops into healthy relationships.
Avoidant attachment
Avoidant people tend to avoid closeness, are less invested in relationships and more likely to leave them. As infants they were disinterested in their parent’s return.
Anxious attachment
Anxious people may be more clingy, less trusting, and more worried about their partner leaving. As infants they responded with frustration or hostility when their parent returned.
Disclosure reciprocity
Mutual sharing about ones-self deepens and strengthens a relationship. We like those to whom we disclose and who disclose to us. This builds intimacy. “Disclosure begs disclosure.”
Equity
The idea that how much someone puts into a relationship should be proportional to how much they get out of it. Happily married people tend not to keep track of what they’re giving and getting, but equity is healthy even when it is not noticed.
Detachment
Detaching is a process, not an event. It is more painful when a person has fewer alternatives. During difficult times partners may demonstrate loyalty (look forward to better days), or neglect (give up), instead of detachment.
