Chapter 11: Attraction, Love , and Communication Flashcards
the tendency to like a person more if we have been exposed to him or her repeatedly
more-exposure effect
the tendency to have contact with people who are equal in social status
homophily
the tendency for men and women to choose as partners people who match them, that is, who are similar in attitudes, intelligence, and attractiveness
matching phenomenon
a quality of relationships characterized by commitment, feelings of closeness and trust, and self-disclosure
intimacy
telling personal things about yourself
self-disclosure
a story about what love should be like, including characters, a plot and a theme
love story
a state of intense longing for union with the other person and of intense physiological arousal
passionate love
a feeling of deep attachment and commitment to a person with whom one has an intimate relationship
companionate love
defining some concept or term by how it is measured, for example, defining intelligence as those abilities that are measured by IQ tests
operational definition
Berscheid and Walster’s theory that two conditions must exist simultaneiously for passionate love to occur: physiological arousal and attaching a cognitive label (“love”) to the feeling
two-component theory of love
when a person in a stage of physiological arousal (e.g. from exercising or being in a frightening situation) attributes these feelings to love or attraction to the person present
misattribution of arousal
what the speaker means
intent
what someone else understands the speaker to mean
impact
a communicator whose impact matches his or her itent
effective communicator
speaking for yourself, using the word “I’; not mind reading
“I” language
making assumptions about what your partner thinks or feels
mind reading
giving specific examples of the issue being discussed
documenting
telling your partner what you are feeling by stating your thoughts clearly, simply, and honestly
leveling
censoring or not saying things that would be deliberately hurtful to your partner or that are irrelevant
editing
saying, in your own words, what you thought your partner meant
paraphrasing
communication not through words, but through the body, e.g., eye contact, tone of voice, touching
nonverbal communication
telling your partner that, given his or her point of view, you can see why he or she thinks a certain way
validation
a set of rules designed to make arguments constructive rather than destructive
fighting fair
