Chapter 11

Question 1

What is conflict?

Answer 1

a disagreement between two interdependent parties who perceive that they have incompatible goals

Question 2

Conflict increases as relational partners become more committed and interdependent…true or false

Answer 2

True

Question 3

Parent-Child conflict

Answer 3

For children, conflict with parents is a learning process, helps develop social skills

Question 4

Sibling Conflict

Answer 4

one of our longest-lasting relationships, usually outlasts parent-child

Question 5

Spillover effect

Answer 5

parents who engage in dysfunctional conflict likely to have dysfunctional parenting styles

Question 6

Socialization effect

Answer 6

children adopt conflict styles similar to those of their parents

Question 7

Competitive fighting

Answer 7

uncooperative and direct; win/lose

Question 8

Compromising

Answer 8

direct and moderately cooperative; part win/part lose

Question 9

Collaborating

Answer 9

cooperative and direct; also called negotiation; win/win

Question 10

Indirect fighting

Answer 10

indirect and uncooperative; also called passive aggression; lose/lose

Question 11

Yielding

Answer 11

cooperative and indirect; also call accommodating; lose/win

Question 12

Avoiding

Answer 12

indirect and neutral in terms of cooperation; lose/lose

Question 13

4 common patterns of conflict within relationships

Answer 13

Negative reciprocity
Demand-Withdrawal
Four horsemen of the apocalypse
Pattern of accommodation

Question 14

Principle of Negative Reciprocity –

Answer 14

aggression begets aggression

Question 15

3 tactics to negative reciprocity

Answer 15

gunnysacking
kitchen sinking
bringing in a third party

Question 16

Gunnysacking

Answer 16

storing up old grievances and dumping them on partner during a conflict

Question 17

Kitchen sinking

Answer 17

rehashing old arguments when getting into new conflict

Question 18

Bringing in a third party

Answer 18

mentioning something someone else may have said

Question 19

Demand-Withdrawal Interaction Pattern

Answer 19

one person uses demanding communication to engage in conflict, and the other person tries to avoid conflict by withdrawing

Question 20

Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

Answer 20

4 especially destructive behaviors which form a cascade or sequence of escalation

Question 21

what are the four horsemen of apocalypse?

Answer 21

Complaints and criticisms
Contempt and disgust
Defensiveness
Stonewalling

Question 22

Complaints and Critiscism

Answer 22

– complaints not always bad, but if repeated over long periods, they are perceived as criticisms

Question 23

Contempt and disgust

Answer 23

feelings likely to be communicated to partners

Question 24

Defensiveness

Answer 24

people feel a need to defend themselves and ward off personal attacks; includes

Question 25

Stonewalling

Answer 25

withdrawal from interaction

Question 26

Accommodation Principle - based on three ideas

Answer 26

1. People have a tendency to retaliate when confronted with destructive behaviors
2. Accommodation occurs when we resist that urge and engage in cooperative behaviors
3. Satisfied, committed couples are more likely to use accommodation

Question 27

Attribution

Answer 27

perceptual process of assigning reasons or causes to someone’s behavior

Question 28

Argumentativeness v. Aggressiveness

Answer 28

Argumentativeness – focuses on logical argument and reasoning
Presents position in a skilled and convincing manner, rather than attacking person
Verbal aggressiveness – attacks person’s self-concept, often with intention of hurting the other person
Includes teasing, threats and criticism of person’s character