Chapter 11 Flashcards
What is conflict?
a disagreement between two interdependent parties who perceive that they have incompatible goals
Conflict increases as relational partners become more committed and interdependent…true or false
True
Parent-Child conflict
For children, conflict with parents is a learning process, helps develop social skills
Sibling Conflict
one of our longest-lasting relationships, usually outlasts parent-child
Spillover effect
parents who engage in dysfunctional conflict likely to have dysfunctional parenting styles
Socialization effect
children adopt conflict styles similar to those of their parents
Competitive fighting
uncooperative and direct; win/lose
Compromising
direct and moderately cooperative; part win/part lose
Collaborating
cooperative and direct; also called negotiation; win/win
Indirect fighting
indirect and uncooperative; also called passive aggression; lose/lose
Yielding
cooperative and indirect; also call accommodating; lose/win
Avoiding
indirect and neutral in terms of cooperation; lose/lose
4 common patterns of conflict within relationships
Negative reciprocity
Demand-Withdrawal
Four horsemen of the apocalypse
Pattern of accommodation
Principle of Negative Reciprocity –
aggression begets aggression
3 tactics to negative reciprocity
gunnysacking
kitchen sinking
bringing in a third party
Gunnysacking
storing up old grievances and dumping them on partner during a conflict
Kitchen sinking
rehashing old arguments when getting into new conflict
Bringing in a third party
mentioning something someone else may have said
Demand-Withdrawal Interaction Pattern
one person uses demanding communication to engage in conflict, and the other person tries to avoid conflict by withdrawing
Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
4 especially destructive behaviors which form a cascade or sequence of escalation
what are the four horsemen of apocalypse?
Complaints and criticisms
Contempt and disgust
Defensiveness
Stonewalling
Complaints and Critiscism
– complaints not always bad, but if repeated over long periods, they are perceived as criticisms
Contempt and disgust
feelings likely to be communicated to partners
Defensiveness
people feel a need to defend themselves and ward off personal attacks; includes
Stonewalling
withdrawal from interaction
Accommodation Principle - based on three ideas
- People have a tendency to retaliate when confronted with destructive behaviors
- Accommodation occurs when we resist that urge and engage in cooperative behaviors
- Satisfied, committed couples are more likely to use accommodation
Attribution
perceptual process of assigning reasons or causes to someone’s behavior
Argumentativeness v. Aggressiveness
Argumentativeness – focuses on logical argument and reasoning
Presents position in a skilled and convincing manner, rather than attacking person
Verbal aggressiveness – attacks person’s self-concept, often with intention of hurting the other person
Includes teasing, threats and criticism of person’s character
