8. Growing Up in a Family Flashcards
Discipline
- The set of strategies parents use to teach their children how to behave appropriately
–> Effective if child stops engaging in inappropriate behaviour and engages in appropriate behaviour instead
–> Ideally leads to internalization
Internalization
- The process by which children learn and accept the reasons for desired behaviour
–> i.e., Child abides by parent’s rules/norms even when the parent isn’t present
Fostering Internalization
- Reasoning that focuses on the effects of a behaviour on someone else is best strategy for promoting internalization
–> E.g. “pulling someone’s hair is wrong because it hurts the other person’s body”
–> Teaches empathy - Reasoning has to be combined with psychological pressure to foster internalization
Sweet Spot of Psychological Pressure
- Too little –> Child disobeys and ignores message
- Too much –> Child is obedient but only because they feel forced to do it*Will only comply if there is a risk of being caught
- Just right –> Slightly raised voice and disapproving look is often enough
Discipline Guidelines
- Set limits: Have clear and consistent rules a child can follow
- Give attention: Give attention and praise for good behaviour
- Ignore bad behaviour: As long as the behaviour is not dangerous, ignoring bad behaviour can be an effective way of stopping it
- Give consequences: Calmly explain consequences when the child misbehaves and follow through
- Time-outs: Useful when a specific rules is broken. Works best when:
–> The child gets a warning that they will get a time-out if they don’t stop
–> Caregiver provides a calm explanation of what they did wrong
–> Caregiver removes the child from the situation for a pre-set amount of time
Parenting Styles
- 2 dimensions of parenting:
–> Discipline/control: Extent to which parents monitor and manage their children’s behaviour through rules and consequences
–> Sensitivity/ support/warmth: Extent to which parents mirror their children and are responsive to them
Authoritative Parents
- High in sensitivity/warmth and discipline
- Set clear standards and limits for their children and are firm and consistent about enforcement
–> Explain reasoning behind rules
–> But also allow autonomy within those limits - Attentive and responsive to child’s needs and concerns and respect the child’s perspective
Kid’s Behaviour Correlated with Authoritative Parenting
- Internalize adults’ expectations and behave accordingly
- Higher self-confidence and adaptive skills
- High social skills
–> Tend to have many friends and are well-liked - Do well academically
Authoritarian Parents
- High in discipline, but low in sensitivity
- Cold and unresponsive to child’s needs
- Expect child to comply with parent’s desires without question
- Exercise power by using threats, punishments, psychological control
Kids’ Behaviour Correlated with Authoritarian Parenting
- Creates hostility in children towards parents
- May be obedient in front of parent but tend to not internalize parent’s message
–> More likely to rebel against parent’s rules, especially in adolescence - Lower in self-confidence and generally higher levels of mental health problems
- Lower social competence
- More behavioural problems, like aggression and delinquency
Permissive Parenting
- High in sensitivity, but low in discipline
- Responsive to child’s needs and wishes but are overly lenient
- Do not require child to regulate themselves or act in appropriate ways
–> The child is the boss
Kids’ Behaviour Correlated with Permissive Parenting
- Higher in impulsivity and tend to struggle with self-control
- Lower academic achievement
- More behavioural problems, like delinquency and aggression
Uninvolved Parenting
- Low in discipline and sensitivity
- Disengaged from parenting
- Sometimes rejecting and neglectful
- Focused on their own needs instead of children’s needs
Kids’ Behaviour Correlated with Uninvolved Parenting
- Struggle with self-worth and mental health problems
- Insecure attachment
- Low in social competence
- Low academic achievement
- More behavioural problems, like substance abuse and risky sexual behaviours in adolescence
Helicopter/Carpenter Parenting
- Overbearing and overprotective due to the close attention they pay to all of their child’s problems and successes
- Solve kids problems for them
–> Parent is implicitly sending the message that the child is unable to overcome their struggles on their own - Seems to have become the cultural norm in North America across different social classes
- Correlations in kids:
–> Increased anxiety and depression
–> Decreased self-efficacy and self-regulation
–> Poorer academic performance
Gentle Parenting
- Poorly defined but generally refers to parents who are high in warmth and focus on helping a child regulate their own emotions
- For discipline, focus on validating emotions, “natural consequences” of behaviour, and stay away from punitive measures
–> Generally view ignoring bad behaviour and time-outs as bad practices - Most likely similar to permissive parenting but not enough research yet to know about the effects of gentle parenting
Parenting of Moms vs. Dads
- Moms:
–> Spend on average, even those that work, 1.5 hours more with their children than dads
–> More likely to provide physical care and emotional support to children - Dads:
–> More likely to play with children than moms - Parenting by moms and parenting by dads are equally important and affect children in similar ways:
–> Sensitivity from both is important for children’s mental health
Parenting Across Cultures
- Many similarities:
–> All parents teach about good and bad behaviour very often and are least likely to use love withdrawal - Also some differences
–> Italian parents are most likely to yell or scold
–> Kenyan parents are most likely to threaten or use punishment, but least likely to take away privileges
Are there cultural differences in the effects of parenting practices on children?
- Research comparing European American vs. Chinese parenting shows that:
–> Chinese/Chinese American parents are more likely to use authoritarian parenting style
–> Authoritarian parenting has fewer negative consequences for Chinese/Chinese American children
–> Positive association between authoritative parenting and positive outcomes in children for both European Americans and Chinese children but this association is weakerfor Chinese children - Suggests that authoritative parenting is best across cultures, but authoritarian parenting is less harmful in cultures where it is the norm
Spanking: Is it really bad?
- 60% of children worldwide experience regular physical punishment
–> Rates are higher in countries where authoritarian parenting is the norm - BUT, meta-analysis of studies across 50 years shows that the more children are spanked, the:
–> Less they internalize parents’ rules
–> More aggressive they are
–> More problematic relationship with parents
–> More mental health problems they have
–> Lower their self-esteem - These negative outcomes are found across cultural groups
- Yes, research shows that spanking is bad
- United Nations: spanking is a form of violence against children that violates human right to be protected from violence
Kids Also Influence Parenting
- Parent-child interactions tend to be bidirectional
–> Each influences and reinforces the other’s behaviour
–> Can create both positive and negative cycle
Role of Shared Genes
- Parents’ and children’s behaviour can also both be caused by the genes they share
Implications
- A correlation between parenting and a child’s behaviour could be due to parenting practices, the child’s behaviour AND/OR shared genes
–> Does not imply causation between parenting and children’s outcomes - Parenting practices are not solely responsible for children’s outcomes
Importance of Longitudinal Research
- Only way of definitively showing bidirectional relationship between children’s behaviour and parenting practices
First-Time Parents are Older
- Average age of first-time moms in Canada is increasing:
–> 1973: 24 years old
–> 2016: 29 years old - “Older” first-time parents (vs. younger parents) tend to have:
–> More education and higher income
–> Fewer children
–> Less likely to get divorced in first 10 years
–> More authoritative parenting
Same-Sex Parents
- More same-sex couples are becoming parents in Canada:
–> 2001: 8.6% of same-sex couples raising children
–> 2016: 12% of same-sex couples raising children - Children raised by same-sex parents are no different that children raised by different-sex parents:
–> Similar mental health, social competence, sexual orientation, and academic achievement
–> Shows that parenting style matters, not parents’ sexual orientation
Children’s Age and Divorce
- 35% -42% of marriages end in divorce
–> Peak in divorce in 1987 at 50% - Age affects how children adjust to divorce
–> Younger kids (Grade 1-5) show more internalizing (depression + anxiety) and more externalizing symptoms(impulsivity + disobedience + aggression)
–> Older(Grade 6 -10) showed poorer academic performance - Suggests which areas parents should target to help their kids through a divorce
Negative Effects of Divorce Don’t Last
- But, negative effects of divorce on children tend to not last long
–> Differences in well-being of adults whose parents divorced in childhood vs. adults whose parents stayed married are very small
Not All Divorces are the Same
- Children have a harder time adjusting to divorce and do worse if:
–> Multiple changes- e.g. divorce + new home + new neighbourhood + new school + remarriage
–> Ongoing conflict between parents/ stepparents
*Puts child in the middle and in the role of mediator
*Children do better if parents and stepparents are able to be civil and communicate directly with each other
- e.g. divorce + new home + new neighbourhood + new school + remarriage
- Children have an easier time adjusting to divorce if parents show high levels of sensitivity/warmth
Divorce Can be a Good Thing
- Divorce can be a good thing if parents were engaged in a lot of conflict before getting divorced
–> Kids’ psychological well-being improves after divorce if parents had a lot of conflict
Siblings
- Can be friends and support each other or can be competition for resources like toys and parental attention
- Quality of sibling relationship matters
- Negative sibling relationships predict:
–> More depression
–> More social withdrawal
–> More problem behaviours
Predictors of Positive Sibling Relationship
- Siblings treated equally by parents
- More likely to get along with authoritative parenting
- If favouring happens, the least favoured child’s well-being suffers
- Differential treatment less detrimental if the least favoured child:
*Views it as justified
*Is older sibling
*Growing up in a collectivistic culture - Parents get along with each other
- Modelling a positive relationship with family member
- If parents are engaged in a lot of conflict, parental attention may become a scarce resource that siblings feel the need to compete for
Similarities Between Siblings
- Genetic influences
–> Similarities in temperament due to shared genes - Shared environment: the factors that both siblings experience
–> Growing up in the same family with the same parenting style and same household rules
–> Growing up in the same neighbourhood
–> Going to the same school
Differences Between Sibling
- Siblings tend to be more different than similar
- Genetic influences
–> Differences in temperament
–> Contributes to siblings interpreting the same parenting in different ways - Non-shared environment: the unique environmental influences experiences by each individual sibling
–> Differences in parental treatment despite similar intentions
–> Differences in family context
E.g. timing of divorce, level of family involvement
–> Birth orderPeer group
–> Attending different schools or different activities
The Myth of Birth Order Personality
- Research consistently shows no meaningful effects of birth order on personality and intelligence
- Why does the myth persist?
–> Confirmation bias
–> Birth order is confounded with age
The Role of SES
- Low SES (vs. average SES) negatively affects children’s development:
–> Lower academic achievement
–> More behaviour problems
–> More depression and anxiety - Why?
–> Material hardships
–> Negative effect of low SES on parenting:
*Amount of time parents can spend with their child
*Creates stress which can lead to poor parental mental health, harsh parenting, and marital conflict
The Costs of Wealth
- Adolescents in high SES (vs. average SES) families show elevated rates of:
–> Increased drug and alcohol use
–> More depression and anxiety - Rate of negative outcomes is comparable to low SES peers
- Why?
–> Parents spending more time at work which means that kids are less likely to be monitored
–> High pressure to achieve and excel
Implications
- Similarities in adjustment outcomes for low and high SES children
–> Suggests more than one pathway to detrimental outcomes - Middle SES is best in terms of child development?