4- Honing Your Coaching Skill Set

Question 1

quote from Shape Magazine

Answer 1

“A coach can play any number of roles—mentor, consultant, motivator, but one thing she [or he] is not
is a therapist. Coaching deals with the ‘how’: how you can move on from where you are and make
change. It’s action-oriented, and concerned with the present and future, not the past.”

Question 2

people are like diamonds

Answer 2

you don’t have to like all facets…. can find one or two facets that you value and respect

Question 3

Building Trust and Mutual Respect

A coach’s effectiveness is proportional to
the quality of the relationship

Answer 3

• The relationship is the context within which
coach and coachee work
• The more open the relationship, the higher
the levels of rapport and trust
• The greater the level of trust, the more
effective the coaching

Question 4

Building Trust and Mutual Respect

There is no better way to ensure mutual
respect than to offer respect

Answer 4

• Genuinely valuing people as you value
yourself
• Breaking away from the traditional mental
models
◦ “People will take advantage of you”
◦ “Employees should be kept at a
distance”

Question 5

Building Trust and Mutual Respect

Make the development of mutual,
positive regard your first priority

Answer 5

• Respect
• Trust
• Rapport

Question 6

when you’re emotional….

Answer 6

don’t send email or text because the emotion may appear more passionate than it is

be very careful not to send email/text when you’re upset

if upset, wait before communicating because perceived betrayal of trust can be hard to undo

Question 7

trust breakers

Answer 7

betrayal
judgement
lies

or perception of the above

Question 8

Providing Psychological Safety

Creating the relationship and environment within which it is safe to

Answer 8

• Offer trust and communicate openly
• Disclose our thoughts and feelings
• Confront our misgivings and doubts
• Admit our weaknesses
• Try new things
• Make mistakes

Question 9

Demonstrating Emotional Intelligence

A key attribute of effective coaches is Emotional Intelligence

Answer 9

Daniel Goleman attributes success in the modern business workplace more to
Emotional Intelligence (EQ) than traditional intelligence (IQ)

Question 10

if people perceive a breaking trust you can say..

Answer 10

i’m sorry for the misunderstanding

im sorry i didn’t mean it that way

this is to re-establish the relation

Question 11

Emotionally intelligent people are

characterized as

Answer 11

• Self-aware
◦ Understand themselves, their thoughts,
feelings, and perceptions
• Self-regulated
◦ Understand and control their moods and
emotions
• Motivated
◦ Are positive and focused, with a can-do
attitude
• Empathic
◦ Understand and are sensitive to the
views and feelings of others
• Skilled in relationship-building
◦ Possess the social skills to work well
with and influence others

Question 12

Key language techniques are used to

support the learning process

Answer 12

• Utilizing the questioning technique
• The use of silence
• Reinforcement
• Redirecting
• Reframing
• Coaching language patterns

Question 13

Questions are the most powerful coaching technique for

Answer 13

• Building self-awareness and developing insight in others
• Developing conscious thought and understanding
• Focusing the coachee on choices and consequences
• Eliciting the coachee’s point of view

Aids learning through creating mental pathways

Question 14

The Use of Silence

Answer 14

► Emphasizes that you are listening
► Leaves space and time for further
reflection by the coachee

Question 15

Reinforce positive performance

Answer 15

• Appreciate small changes
• Recognize effort
• Praise when possible

Question 16

To be really meaningful, the reinforcement has to

Answer 16

• Be descriptive and specific
• Be timely
• Be supported by learning questions
• Provide examples
• Draw out the positive consequences

Question 17

Redirect coachees’ effort and focus when

they go off track

Answer 17

In an empowering way
◦ Ask questions to broaden coachee’s
options
◦ Ask for their suggestions

Question 18

Help coachees to consider new possibilities by changing their frame of reference

Answer 18

Opinions are expressed from one particular viewpoint

◦ Provide a new angle for them to consider

Question 19

Reframing is particularly useful when the coachee is stuck in a problem

Answer 19

• Possible solutions can be found if other perspectives are explored
• Moving from
◦ Detail to big-picture or vice versa
◦ The personal frame to the team frame
◦ Problem to opportunity
◦ Conflict to agreement

Question 20

Coaching Language Patterns

Based on NeuroLinguistic Programming
NLP

Answer 20

• Powerful coaching tool

► Use to lead and focus coachee’s thinking
• To clarify goals
• To solve problems
• To overcome limiting beliefs
• To explore deeper emotions and values

Question 21

Coaching Language Patterns

Clarifying goals

Answer 21

• “What do you want?”
• “How will you know when you’ve got it?”
• “What will you do to get what you want?”

Question 22

Coaching Language Patterns

Solving problems

Answer 22

• “How will you feel when (problem/challenge) is no longer an issue?”
• “If you did know, what would the answer be?”

Question 23

Coaching Language Patterns

Challenging limiting beliefs

Answer 23

• “How do you know?”
• “Always?” Even when…?” (Never, etc.)
• “Who/what specifically?”
• “What would happen if you could/did?” (Didn’t, etc.)

Question 24

Coaching Language Patterns

Exploring deeper emotions

Answer 24

• “What’s important to you about…?”

* “What does that give you that you wouldn’t otherwise have?”