Week 7 Flashcards
“Are you called or are you driven?” asks Bob Buford. Which statement or statements below are implied in his question?
I. Some of us are called to a higher purpose
II. Many of us are driven by our own egos.
A) I Only
B) II Only
C) Both I and II
D) Neither I nor II
C) Both I and II
Bob would agree with both. He is asking us to reflect on our feverish efforts to do more, achieve more, be more. Are we driven by ego, wants, and needs? Or are we called to a higher purpose to which our effort responds? One he would consider to be true freedom, the other a kind of slavery.
“Bob, what is in the box?” When asked this by a life coach, why did Bob find this question so challenging?
I. Bob was raised by his mother to take over the family business and make it a success, and he grew up with a strong religious orientation.
II. Bob felt he could only have one highest value, either worldly success or success by the standards of his faith.
A) I Only
B) II Only
C) Both I and II
D) Neither I nor II
C) Both I and II
Both fit with what Bob means. The question about the box implies that we have a highest value, the one we pick when we have to make hard choices between things we value. For Bob, that meant choosing between the dollar sign and the symbol of his faith. Once he chose the symbol of his faith, he was able to bring money back into it, but subordinate to his sense of purpose. He decided to stay in business, but as a way to create the wealth he needed to build an organization that would serve churches and connect them to resources.
100X. What does that motto mean to Bob Buford?
A) Be fruitful 100 times over.
B) For every dollar invested, have 100 dollars of social impact
C) For every dollar of giving, inspire other to give 100 times as much.
D) For every dollar given, 100 times as much benefit will be received by the joyful giver.
A) Be fruitful 100 times over.
Bob recalls a Biblical passage in which the soil bears fruit 100 times over what was sown. He feels that of those to whom much is given, much is expected. He sees this as an obligation. He doesn’t preach it as much as live it. Because of the sincerity, depth, and authenticity of the alignment between his values and his actions, Bob’s book resonates with many who may not share his faith. He walks his talk.
As a rising star in business, building Buford Cable Television, Bob Buford says his orientation was “up and to the right.” What is the best paraphrase?
A) He was oriented to what is highest in himself and to what is right.
B) He was oriented to making his net worth grow, as on a chart, upwards and to the right.
C) He wanted to do both good works in the world for others and also to make success of himself in business.
D) His world revolved around his growing philanthropy, more and more, for higher and higher purposes.
B) He was oriented to making his net worth grow, as on a chart, upwards and to the right.
Bob’s book is a gospel of wealth, in its own way. It tells as many good stories do, of a dramatic turning point, a change of life. Bob says that in his youth he, like so many business people, was caught up in the competitive struggle of business. He wanted his wealth to grow up and to the right, exponentially, and it did. But he found that alone was not enough.
Bob Buford describes his own midlife transition in terms of a “sigmoid curve.” Which statement or statements apply?
I. A sigmoid curve, as Bob would draw it, is a rising S curve that overlaps upon an earlier rising S curve
II. The first curve for Bob is success, the second is significance, and the two overlap for a period of years
A) I Only
B) II Only
C) Both I and II
D) Neither I nor II
C) Both I and II
Both are in tune with what Bob suggests. With the two rising S curves, one overlapping the other, Bob makes the point that we don’t have to quit one life to start another. It may be wiser to keep the old life going as we test out the new. That period of overlap may extend for several years, or may even continue for along time, “double-tracking,” not with a hobby but with a second passionate interest.
In old age, says, Erikson, we must achieve “integrity,” or we will fall into “despair and disgust.” What statement or statements below is in accord with his meaning?
I. Seeing your life as having had a purpose and as being a unified whole.
II. Seeing your life as having both expressed and formed your true identity or character
A) I Only
B) II Only
C) Both I and II
D) Neither I nor II
C) Both I and II
Both fit. Erikson wrote about Identity and the Life Cycle. As our lives unfold we both express who we are and are formed by events. Much seems to happen at random or by change. Sometimes, terrible things befall us or those we love. Yet, toward the end of life, he says, the psychological task that must be accomplished is somehow to see ourselves and our live whole. We must see ourselves and the people who became important to us as having lived our a meaningful arc, as in a work of art, where there is a purpose that seems right, even destined, providential, fortunate, or fated. We many often have erred, but from such missteps we have learned and become what we were meant to be. To fall short of this self-understanding and self-affirmation, he feels, leaves us on the bring of death, in a state of “despair and disgust,” because time is “too short now to start another life or try out alternative paths to integrity.”
Often, when people make a transition from success in business to a different life, based on another purpose, it is because they have been jolted awake. Bob Buford writes, “Here’s something you can’t dream your way out of,’ I told myself. ‘Here’s something you can’t think your way out of, buy your way out or work your way out of.’” What was he referring to?
A) An auto accident in which he injured someone
B) The death of his wife
C) The onset of Parkinson’s
D) His son’s death
D) His son’s death
His son, Ross, died swimming the Rio Grande. Bob had already experienced a yearning for a more meaningful life, but his son’s death jarred him awake and sped his transition from success in worldly terms to significance according to a higher standard.
Parker Palmer likes the “soul” to a wild animal. Which trait or traits below does he attribute to this wild creature?
I. It knows how to survive in difficult environments.
II. It is shy and will flee deeper into the woods, if pursued
A) I Only
B) II Only
C) Both I and II
D) Neither I nor II
C) Both I and II
Both are mentioned. Parker is a remarkable writer who makes full use of a civic, and even spiritual, vocabulary, drawing on his own experiences in facilitating thousands of small face-to-face circles of trust. The moral of his work for listening is that we cannot come crashing into another person’s life like a hunter charging through the underbrush. We will sight what is deepest in another person only if we lay aside our own agenda and simply wait and listen expectantly for what may appear, and then accept that on its own terms. This is close to what Solie calls “whale watching.” Also, true, according to Parker, is that the should or deepest inner resource is fierce when cornered and adapted to survival in difficult and treacherous circumstances. We can come through remarkably difficult things. Many of our clients and donors have.
The course suggests that “legacy,” giving, or making a difference, are concepts that have different meanings to people as they pass through the life cycle. For a young person, say, 24, what developmental need or needs might starting or joining a double-bottom line social venture meet?
I. Living our a moral identity within a circle of peers, family and friends
II. Making a living
A) I Only
B) II Only
C) Both I and II
D) Neither I nor II
C) Both I and II
Both are correct. A younger person may not want to have to choose between “selling out” and making a living. The urge to both be a good person and make a good living can be expressed in joining a nonprofit but can also be expressed, and is for many young people today, by starting or joining a business set up to both be profitable and do good. Interest in such ventures runs high among people in business school; in fact, such interest has been growing exponentially.
What does Ken Dychtwald mean by “the power years?”
A) The years of greatest success in business, usually 44-55.
B) The years when power strikes us as most important, usually before a mid-life transition
C) The years that were once called “retirement.”
D) The years late in life, when we review our lives and have the power to understand ourselves.
C) The years that were once called “retirement.”
Retirement, Dychtwald suggests, is a concept that is out-of-date. We are now living longer. We have what amounts to a longevity bonus. How we will use these extra years productively is the question. In these “power years,” we may transition to a passionate interest that we have neglected, or cycle in and out of work, or turn a hobby into a new income-generating activity.
What is the two task of early adulthood?
A) Self and society
B) Success with significance
C) Love and work
D) Family and friends
C) Love and work
Finding love and meaningful work in the world. So say developmental psychologists like Freud and Erikson. You may check it against your own experience and understanding. Much of financial planning seems devoted to the view of these early adult years – planning for self and family, planning for success at work. For most in these years, philanthropy or giving is relatively minor issue. The money is not yet there, and the work of love is close to home. The younger person may try to combine work, love, and care for the community in a career in a socially responsible business, may prefer to invest in socially good companies, or may change consumer choices to reflect the values and impact of the brand. Except for the few who become wealthy while young, who inherit great wealth, or who have a family foundation established by parents, however, philanthropy per se is not likely to rise to a topic worthy of discussion with advisors.
“Great life, great wife, but my life? My wife?” A man who feels this way is likely in what “predictable crisis of adult life?”
A) Crisis of young adulthood
B) Midlife Crisis
C) Transition to the Power Years
D) Late-life transition
B) Midlife Crisis
This sounds like midlife crisis, or midlife reset. It can be triggered by a brush with morality, a sense of no longer being Superman, a recognition that time is limited. What can be “sold into” this crisis? All kinds of things: a convertible, a red motorcycle, hair transplants, vitamins, gym membership. And what else? Bob Buford’s book makes clear that one of the most important life changes can be towards philanthropy. Instead of trying to go back in time, the client decides to move forward, but toward something of greater and permanent value. it is no longer, necessarily about love and work narrowly considered as just spouse and children. It becomes about leveraging wealth for a greater good. If wealth is not there, perhaps time can be leveraged into volunteer work or board service.
Measured in both time donated and money, which cohort is the most generous?
A) 35-44
B) 45-54
C) 55-64
D) 65 and older
D) 65 and older
People 65 and older give more time and money per person than any other group.
David Solie speaks of an elder as longing to leave an “organic legacy.” Which elements or elements go into the process by which such a legacy come into being?
I. It begins with a “grand retrospective,” or life review, in which events of the entire life are brought to mind and woven together to answer such question as: “What was the meaning of my life?” “How did I make a difference?” “How will I be remembered?”
II. It may be facilitated by a therapist or other professional, who asks story questions, like “What was the world like when you grew up?” “What was the happiest time of your life?” “If you could change one thing, what would it be?”
A) I Only
B) II Only
C) Both I and II
D) Neither I nor II
C) Both I and II
Both are true. We often think that a legacy must be “sold” to clients or donors. We think it may have to do with persuasion or solicitation. Or we may think it has to do with specific “results.” Solie, along with Erikson and, for that matter, Paul Schervish, Parker Palmer, and Peter Karoff, helps us see that legacy is rooted in the human need to have lead a meaningful life, to have been fully present, to have shown up as what we are, our own best self, and to have left something behind. It is about narrative, about moral autobiography. This process, Solie says, is “not optional.” For older people, it becomes almost compulsive. As advisors or fundraisers, we can facilitate the process by asking questions that lead from the past, to the present, to the future, to what will live on. IN helping elders find what David Solie calls their “organic legacy,” one rooted in their own life story and moral identity, we help the best in them live on.
David Solie speaks of listening to elder as “whale spotting.” Each statement below fits his meaning EXCEPT:
A) As we raise life questions with elders, the surface of the conversation may remain smooth and untroubled, but much may be happening below the surface.
B) Those spotting whales on a cruise ship scan the horizon, but the whale may surface from an entirely unexpected direction; likewise, in a conversation with seniors, the most important and energetic concern may arise unexpectedly, and we must then adjust.
C) The conversation with elders about legacy is often non-linear and discontinuous.
D) Elders are often infirm, do not focus well, and tend to go off on their own tangents.
D) Elders are often infirm, do not focus well, and tend to go off on their own tangents.
In the terminology of other authors in this course, Solie is an empathetic and generative listener. He lets the client or donor be and listens within their frame of reference. To many younger listeners, it may seem that old people are feeble-minded and go off on infuriating tangents, flashbacks, and digressions. To Solie, on the contrary, the elder is hard at work piecing together a story of their life. The flashbacks and digressions are pulling the pieces together. The major insight may surge up like a whale, surprising both hearer and teller. (This is close to what Scharmer calls “generative listening,” which brings something new into existence.)
