Week 11 - Cross Cutting Themes and Terms Flashcards
Generative Questions
- Tease the client into deeper reflection
- They facilitate the client’s own discernment
- We become thought partners, not just experts to give answers
Examples of Generative Questions
- What kind of person do you want to be?
- In what kind of world?
- What is important to your family?
- what would you like to change or preserve in the world?
- What are your family’s true assets?
- What will you do to support the life journey of each family member?
- How wealthy do you want your children to be?
- Do you feel you have a responsibility to society?
- Do you have any debts you have not yet paid?
Early Adulthood
Love and Work
From such themes many a novel has been written. We see ourselves as on a quest, an epic journey.
“Up and to the right” - Bob Buford
Finding Mr. or Ms. Right
Midlife
“One of the most common characteristis of a person who is nearing the end of the first half is that unquenchable desire to move from success to significance.”
“Success Panic”
“Success Panic passed through the threshold of my door when I was forty-four. It hit me with a blunt object - my slavish devotion to the art of the deal and the thrill of the kill. How much was enough?” Bob Buford
How much is enough?
Is my work still the center of my life or am I moving on?
What do I want to be remembered for?
“Elevating the Discourse” - Peter Karoff
How are we doing so as CAPs?
How an advisor translates knowledge that will help the donor achieve their goals and objectives.
Outcomes & Impact (For Self, For Family, For Society)
What is in the box? - Bob Buford
You can only put one value in the box. Faith or Money. Result: He the business and didn’t become a minister. He used the business revenue to fund a learning community for church leaders.
“on of the most common characteristics of a person who is nearing the end of the first half is that unequivocal desire to move from success to significance”
“Called or Driven” - Bob Buford
Bob asked himself “am I called to this work or driven by ambition?”
Peter Drucker was Bob Buford’s life coach. He told him he could only put one thing in the box.
What are the two important needs according to Peter Drucker?
Self-realization and Community
Overlapping Sigmoid Curves
The old and the new overlap until the old dies away and the new emerges on a new upward trajectory
According to Charles Handy “The secret to constant growth is to start a new sigmoid curve before the first one peters out”
(plan ahead for the second curve… success panic) Don’t wait until retirement it might be too late - Bob Buford. The true self has been buried too long to have survived. You might not have energy for renewal.
The Power Years
55-71
Use to be called retirement years
Moving to something new
Planning for abundance VS Planning for scarcity
‘encore career’ - social venture, foundation, life of volunteer service
Giving while living (boomers)
Late Life
Focus shifts from present to past.
Hold on and let go. (Control vs legacy)
Accept death and leave an organic legacy (the fruit of a lifetime, the fulfillment of a life story, the best possible ending)
Erick Erickson
Integrity - “It is the acceptance of one’s own life cycle and of the people who have become significant to it as something that had to be and that, by necessity, permitted no substitutions.”
Despair - “The feeling that the time is short, too short for the attempt to start another life and to try out alternate roads to integrity”
Life Review - Haight
Successful power years depends on this.
Life review is not optional.
It is a developmental task.
Minimum 8 sessions for 1 hour each.
Organic Legacy - David Solie
Grows from the “Grand Retrospective” or “Life Review”
The fruit of a lifetime and what lives on
The ultimate gift that grows organically from the donor’s own life history, and in completing their life and living on through others after they are gone.
A good story has a good ending.
Grand retrospective is a form of sence-making that is not optional for elders. Attempts to see the arc of life and the generations of life as a part of the more trival story.
