Waning Gibbous

Question 1

Checkmate.

Answer 1

This is a stupid game.

Question 2

I thought you liked it.

Answer 2

I liked checkers. The pieces were nice and round. These just look deformed.

Question 3

Just because they’re not identical doesn’t mean they’re deformed.

Answer 3

They’re dented.

Question 4

They’ve been loved.

Answer 4

Not by me.

Question 5

Is it possible that maybe you just don’t like losing?

Answer 5

I only lose because the rules make no sense.

Question 6

Okay.

Answer 6

Some of the pieces can go diagonally, but others can only go straight, but they all
look like misshapen blobs and I don’t know how you’re supposed to distinguish
between any of them.

Question 7

The shapes are really different.

Answer 7

And then apparently if you capture one of my blobs, you win, but just that one,
none of the others, and heaven forbid I be able to tell which one it is.

Question 8

I’ve told you, it’s the king.

Answer 8

And what makes him the king?

Question 9

He has a crown. Look.

Answer 9

That one has a crown too.

Question 10

Yes, but that’s the queen. She’s different.

Answer 10

Why?

Question 11

She can move differently. The king can only move one square at a time, but the
queen is your most powerful piece. She can move almost anywhere.

Answer 11

So she’s more powerful, but if I capture her, I don’t win. It makes no sense

Question 12

It’s about politics… (MOON groans and falls back on the floor) … and strategy

Answer 12

It’s messy!

Question 13

We don’t have to keep playing if you hate it so much.

Answer 13

But you like it.

Question 14

You could like it, too, if you actually tried to learn the rules

Answer 14

You say that every time.

Question 15

Maybe one day you’ll listen.

Answer 15

Maybe I just don’t like chess.

Question 16

So do you want to stop playing?

Answer 16

Nothing better to do.

Question 17

I like chess.

Answer 17

I know.

Question 18

It’s so elegant. You have to watch everything and how it fits together. Nothing is
insignificant.

Answer 18

Exactly. How do you know what to focus on?

Question 19

Your move.

Answer 19

(laugh)

Question 20

What?

Answer 20

I never noticed, but if you look from the right angle, you look like a rabbit

Question 21

I know.

Answer 21

You know? How? I’ve never noticed, so I couldn’t have told you.

Question 22

They noticed.

Answer 22

Oh. How come you never told me?

Question 23

You don’t like when I talk about them.

Answer 23

No.

Question 24

Some of them say I look like a woman. Or a boy carrying sticks

Answer 24

That’s because they’re stupid.

Question 25

Like me?

Answer 25

No. You're different.

Question 26

How?

Answer 26

You're up here. With me.

Question 27

Are you sure?

Answer 27

I don't know! Sure, yes, why not?

Question 28

It's okay, I promise, you're getting better.

Answer 28

stop it.

Question 29

No really. It's complicated.

Answer 29

Don’t be so condescending. Remember, I almost beat you at checkers earlier.

Question 30

I know.

Answer 30

Give me another hundred years, and I’ll be beating you every time.

Question 31

A hundred years? We have to talk about it.

Answer 31

No, we don't.

Question 32

It was the ten-thousandth full moon yesterday.

Answer 32

Yes, thank you, I can count.

Question 33

You're waning already.

Answer 33

That's incredibly rude.

Question 34

You know what I'm saying.

Answer 34

Yes, I know what you're saying, but we're not going to talk about it.

Question 35

Why not?

Answer 35

We're just not. Okay?

Question 36

We're going to have to at some point.

Answer 36

No.

Question 37

I'm leaving.

Answer 37

Stop that. Stop saying that.

Question 38

You need to hear it.

Answer 38

I have heard it, now stop.

Question 39

Listen-

Answer 39

No. Not now.

Question 40

Then when?

Answer 40

I don’t know. I just… I don’t want to talk about it now. It’s your move.

Question 41

You can’t cheat just because you’re in a bad mood.

Answer 41

Who's cheating? This is the king, right?

Question 42

Yes.

Answer 42

Great. I win.

Question 43

No.

Answer 43

Yes, you said that if I capture the king, I win.

Question 44

Right, but-

Answer 44

Alright, so I’ve captured him. So I win.

Question 45

No.

Answer 45

Do you need to go over the rules again?

Question 46

Stop it.

Answer 46

Stop what?

Question 47

If this is because of what I said earlier-

Answer 47

I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Question 48

Look. You always knew this was temporary. Ten thousand cycles, that’s what they said

Answer 48

I thought we’d dropped that.

Question 49

Well, obviously you hadn’t.

Answer 49

I said, I don't want to talk about it.

Question 50

You knew this was coming.

Answer 50

That doesn't mean I have to enjoy it.

Question 51

I’m not asking you to enjoy it.

Answer 51

No, you're asking me to talk about it, which frankly, is even worse.

Question 52

So you want to just pretend it’s not going to happen?

Answer 52

Sure.

Question 53

And go on as normal.

Answer 53

Yes.

Question 54

And that’ll just make it go away?

Answer 54

Oh, for heaven's sake, I'm not a child.

Question 55

I know.

Answer 55

Or an idiot. I've been here longer than your tiny mind can even begin to comprehend. I was here for eons before you and I'll be here long after you're gone, so there's no need to be so patronizing.

Question 56

Okay. I was just trying to be nice.

Answer 56

Don't. It's annoying. What are you doing?

Question 57

I want to play chess.

Answer 57

Again?

Question 58

Yes.

Answer 58

We just played.

Question 59

I know, but you’re being particularly frustrating today, so I feel like beating you at chess.

Answer 59

Are you serious?

Question 60

Deadly.

Answer 60

I'm not going to play.

Question 61

Yes, you will.

Answer 61

Why?

Question 62

Because if you don’t play there’s no chance you’ll finally beat me instead.

Answer 62

I hate you.

Question 63

Okay.

Answer 63

You know that, right?

Question 64

I know.

Answer 64

And I get the first move.

Question 65

Naturally.

Answer 65

I really hate you.

Question 66

I know.

Answer 66

Damn it!