Unit 3 Flashcards
What are the 8 levels of Murstein’s Filter Theory
Field of Eligibles, propinquity filter, attraction filter, homogamy filter, compatibility filter, trial filter, decision filter, marriage
what is the field of eligibles
People who are of right age and are single
what is the Propinquity Filter
geography
what is Attraction Filter
Physical attraction, personality
what is Homogamy Filter
Age, race, education, socio-economic class, religion
what is Compatibility Filter
Temperament, attitudes and values, needs, roles, habit systems
what is Trail Filter
Cohabitation, engagement
what is Decision Filter
Decide to stay with them or not
what is Marriage
Actual legal marriage/religion/common law
what are the 4 different love drugs
dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, pheromones
when does dopamine kick in
newly/early in love
when does serotonin kick in
Fallen in love within the last 6 months (at least these are the people that were experimented on)
when does oxytocin kick in
log term spouses
when does pheromones kick in
on smell
what is the effects of dopamine
intense energy, exhilaration, focused attention, motivation, boldness
what is the effect of serotonin
Raises happy levels, obsess over love, similar effect to OCD
what is the effect of oxytocin
Feeling of connectedness, bonding
what is the effect of Pheramones
attraction centre in frontal cortex triggered
what are Sternberg’s Phases of Romantic Love
Passion, intimacy, commitment
what is passion
sexual desire; develops most quickly; emphasis on the physical needs
what is intimacy
friendship; emphasis on fulfilling psychological needs
what is commitment
acceptance of roles; emphasis on maintaining the relationship
Passion may draw people together, but what creates longevity in a relationship
intimacy and commitment
does romantic love change over time
Romantic love changes over time as each component takes on a more important role
what are the different combinations of the romantic love
liking, infatuations, romantic, fatuous, empty, companionate, consummate
what is liking
(intimacy only)— love between friends
what is infatuations
(passion only)— a high degree of physical and emotional arousal characterized by “love at first sight”
what is romantic
(intimacy and passion)— love in which commitment may develop over time
what is fatuous
(passion and commitment)— deceptive love, the “whirlwind affair”, a poor foundation for enduring a relationship
what is empty
(commitment only)— dutiful love, also a poor foundation for an enduring relationship
what is Companionate
(intimacy and commitment)— essentially a committed friendship, often being as romantic love and transforms into companionate love
what is consummate
(all three elements)— the love that dreams are made of and difficult to sustain
what is limerence
emotional state– similar to feelings of fear
what happens early in a relationship
Early in the relationship, high levels of amphetamines are released by the hypothalamus gland
what characteristics are there when someone experiences limerence
Feel alert, increased heart rate, feeling of being flushed, rapid breathing
later in a relationship, what happens to levels of amphetamines
drop and are replaced by oxytocin— hormone that creates a calm, satisfying sensation
what is acquaintance rape
done by someone you know
what are some characteristics of a potential rapist
Tells you who you should be friends with, how you should dress tries to control other elements of your life
Emotionally abuses you through insult, belittling moments, ignoring your opinion, or by acting sulky or angry when you initiate an act or idea
talks negatively about women
gets jealous for no reason
drinks a lot/uses drugs/tries to get you intoxicated
Berates our for not waning to get drunk, get high, have sex, or go with him yo isolated/personal place
Physically violent to you or others
what is empty nest syndrome
when the kids leave the house officially, and the parents then get sad or distressed
do divorce rates increase when empty nest syndrome happens?
yes
what are the 7 steps to a happy marriage
Realistic expectations, Acceptance of the other’s personality, good communication skills, agreement on religious/ethical values, Egalitarian role relationships, ,Balance of interests and activities
what is mean by realistic expectations
couple understand the expectations of their relationship
what is meant by Acceptance of the other’s personality
Partners like (and love) and feel good bout each other
what is meant by Good communications skills
These couples communicate well based on respect and love
what is meant by Effective ways of resolving conflict
They possess successful conflict management and resolution skills
what is meant by Agreement on religious/ethical values
Their attitudes, value and beliefs are similar
what is meant by Egalitarian role relationships
They share roles and responsibilities within the marriage
what is meant by Balance of interests and activities
These partners can balance individual and family leisure time pursuits
what gender is typically more accepting of intimate actions on dates
males
what are the 4 main standards of sexual behaviour among teenagers
1) Abstinence standard:
2) Double Standard:
3) Fun Standard:
4) Love Standard:
what is Abstinence standard
Expects people to abstain from sex outside marriage
what is double standard
Expects women to be virgins when they marry but allows men to experiment with sex before marriage
what is fun standard
Treats sex as only physical enjoyment
what is love standard
Involves relationships where there are emotional bonds between the partners
how does media impact teen’s sexual views
Teens are bombarded with sexual messages from the media
do females view ing out more seriously than males
yes
true or false, Girls have seen serious dating as a prelude to marriage
true
how do males regard dating
less serious way, They have regarded it as a fun activity; at the same time, they have placed more emphasis on sating leading to sexual relations than females have
what is the 8 step approach to conflict/problem solving
Step 1: Deal Effectively with Anger Step 2: Set a Time and Place— mutually agreed upon Step 3: Set a Positive Tone Step 4: Use Group Rules (they may be stated or unstated) Step 5: Discuss and Define the Problem Step 6: Brainstorm Possible Solutions Step 7: Evaluate and Choose Solutions Step 8: Follow Up (check back laters)
what are the different lovestyles
friendship love, giving love, possessive love, practical love, game-playing love, erotic love
what are the characteristics of friendship love
Sharing, mutual understanding, respect, compassion and concern characterize friendship lovers
Enjoy the security, the naturalness, the comfortableness of their love
Sexual intimacy often comes late in the relationship, emerging from the already existing verbal intimacy
what are the pitfalls of friendship love
predictability, security, stability and quiet home life makes the excitement lack
uneventful
what are the characteristics of giving love
Derive more pleasure from giving than receiving
Placing happiness of lover above happiness of self
Giving and forgiving
what are the pitfalls of giving love
Too much giving can be irritating
Relationship will likely become boring
what are the characteristics of possessive love
Obsessed with love, they require attention and affection and togetherness
Feels that this important love must be constantly tested
View jealousy as an integral part of being in love
what are the pitfalls of possessive love
clingy, jealous
what are the characteristics of practical love
Stable relationships
plan their lives, relying more on logical thoughts than on feelings
Evaluate their own assets, appraise their “market value”, and try to obtain the best possible deal in a partner
what are the pitfalls of practical love
One partner may not be able to meet the requirements which will result in a problem
Often consider professional help if a rational solution to the incompatibility is not found before
what are the characteristics of game-playing love
Minimized dependancy and commitment
Variety and good times are the goal, and as much emphasis is placed on playing the game as on winning the prize, Love is a game with much fun while it lasts. Game-players thrive on excitement and challenge
what are the pitfalls of game-paling love
One partner may loose the feeling of detachment and fall into the well
If the game is no longer fun, the game is terminated
Typically a stage to pass through, not a lifestyle commitment
what are the characteristics of erotic love
Emphasize quality rather than quality
Commitment at first is intense
Sex and deep personal sharing usually come early, because once the potential ideal person appears, the erotic lover wants to plunge into the relationship
what are the pitfalls of erotic love
The powerful attraction of the first several weeks provides the exhilaration of being on a high mountain, but coming down is terrible
who came up with the different lovestyles
Laswell
what is serial monogamy
marriage to several spouses one after the other (is a logical result of divorce)
what is free-choice mate selection
individuals are attracted to each other, fall in love then decide to marry
what is natural selection
ensuring that children were born and survive through to adulthood (they choose their mate on the likely hood that the offspring will survive)
what is social homogamy
describes how people are attracted to those with similar background
what is ideal mate theory
attempts to explain attraction from a symbolic interactionist perspective
psychologists suggest that attraction is formed from unconscious image of the ideal mate
what is social exchange perspective
suggests that attraction is based more on reality than fantasy, and says that almost every person in the society find a mate because of all the different attractions of different people
what is developmental perspective
suggests that individuals are not able to relate to someone else without first understanding who they are and their roles in life
what is conflict feminist perspective
the match between older men and younger women is needed for the man’s dominant status in a patriarchal marriage
what does Amphetamines cause people to feel
the dramatic feeling of falling “head over heels”
makes lovers feel alert, flushed face, increased heart rate, rapid breathing
give an example of an Amphetamines
phenylethylamine (PEA)
what is courtship
allows individuals to win the affection of those to whom they are attracted
what is the evolution of courtship
bundling, dating,
what is bundling
ew England custom in rural families, the couple would be tucked into bed with a “bundling board” between them o they could have private conversations without getting cold
what is dating
20th century, men typically payed for and organized activities to do with a woman
what is marketing experience perspective
suggested that dating was effective because it enables individuals to learn to relate to the opposite sex and to judge character so that they would be able to determine desirable qualities in a marriage partner
what is commitment
devotion to a relationship
does the dating process impact the success of a marriage
no, It doesn’t matter if the dating process wasn’t good, if they are in love when they marry, they will be more likely to have a good marriage
what is negotiation
conferring with others in order to reach an agreement
is negotiation a big part of a successful marriage
yes
what is shared roles
collaboration
what are the 3 stages in marriage
1— relationships are romantic/warm/respectful, focusing on exploration, sexual attraction and the idealization of the partner. They also build self-esteem as they try to develop the relationship they want
2— conflict arises as individuals become more demanding to meet their own needs. This results in instability in the relationship and requires both partners to change their behaviour. Individuals feel let down because the relationship is less rewarding
3— couples compromise and negotiate a relationship that meets their needs as well as possible. The relationship becomes more realistic, mature and stable
what are some predicted crisis points
adjustment to marriage birth of a child teenage years children having home retirement growing old together
what are some non-normative crises
unemployment, infertility, illness, or infidelity
what are Claude Guldner’s 6 R’s of Marriage
roots, rhythms, rules, roles, relationships, rituals
what are roots
boundaries and strategies learned in your family of origin
they are the “default setting” for your interactions in your new relationship
it’s a good idea to check out each others roots to understand how you have learned to relate to others
what are rhythms
regular sharing of space, time, and emotional energy within the relationship
couples need to negotiate the rhythms or separateness and togetherness in a new relationship
what are rules
The strategies for maintaining the systems on a daily basis, but also for dealing with stress and conflict
couples need to negotiate the mundane routines of their shares lives
what are roles
the fluctuating power levels in the relationship
the “Power Dance” allows couples to change power levels appropriate to the situation
couples have to negotiate how they will share power so that they can manage their lives efficiently
what are relationships
they pass through a series of stages of development and chair in response to the needs of the individuals in the crisis of their lives
what are rituals
are the unique patterns of behaviour that make up a couple or family culture
what is the principle of least interest
person with least communication to the relationship actually has greater power… so the more communication=the more likely to give in to maintain harmony
