to my nine year old self - helen dunmore Flashcards
caesura
emphasise distance
back to reality
you are protected from the bad part of the world during childhood
enjambment
inevitable process into grim adulthood
irregular stanzas
ups and downs in life
title
carefree
disconnected
disjunction
shows distance and separation between younger and older self
changes in perspectives
different attitudes towards life
‘don’t look so surprised, perplexed and eager to be gone’
vast change
don’t recognise themselves
inattentive
children find older people and their grumbles tedious
feels cautious and guilty- knows her younger self would not be proud of how she turned out
‘you must forgive me.’
imperative
distanced themselves
obvious difference between young and present
poet comes to terms with aging
ironic because, as the poem progresses, we can see that she doesn’t really forgive herself
‘balancing on your hands or on the tightrope’
childlike
embarrassed to do that as an adult
child’s agility and fearlessness
joys of naïve youthfulness in comparison to the speaker’s older self
it is also a metaphor for the risks children take, unaware of dangers. She regrets the fearless little person she once was
balancing on the boundary between her adult and child self
‘you would rather run than walk, rather climb than run rather leap from a height than anything’
excited about life
we care too much as an adult
less active as an adult
more fun thing to do
syntactic parallels, to create rhythm and balance
impatience of the child
‘i have spoiled this body we once shared’
collective
personal
didn’t take sufficient care of herself
ambiguous - being over-indulgent as adults may be to a child
‘look at the scars and watch the way i move’
from the past
emotional scars, the effect of grief and worry
but they also link to everlasting impressions and memories
used to be spirited, full of energy, but now she moves carefully in fear of injury
adulthood is associated more with trepidation and care
semantic field of injury
‘bad back’
alliteration
physical tolls of adulthood
contemptuous of her ailments
‘do you remember how, three minutes after waking we’d jump straight of the ground floor window into the summer morning’
addressing her past self - nostalgia
temporal deixis
positive - leaping into the morning
window is also a metaphor for the future and the world outside
‘summer’ signifies hope and growth and happiness.
‘that dream we had, no doubt it’s as fresh as in your mind’
young people imagine the future in terms of happiness or adventure or hope
it is ‘fresh’ in the adult poet’s mind, but clearly altered by reality
‘white paper to write it on’
new and clear
symbolises innocence
blank canvas - be what you want
‘we made a start but something else came up’
disjunction
distracted - typical of childhood
distractions that nudge young people off one path to try another
‘summer of ambition’
no end to possibilities
wanted to grow up?
a time of little responsibility
‘i’d like to say that we could be friends’
things were easier
can’t reconcile
urging herself to come to terms with the progress of the years and, emotionally, make peace with what has happened to her
‘could’ shows doubt
‘but the truth is we have nothing in common’
disjunction - separation
not the same anymore
trying to come to terms with who she has become
‘hide down scared lanes from men in cars after girl children’
fearless
child who was scared, not the lane, or maybe the adults were scared for her safety
indicates that childhood involves hidden fear, such as that expressed in gruesome fairy stories, or even the excitement of a scary adventure.
warned of the danger of child rape or abduction.
‘long buried in housing’
cut down
things have changed
childhood is lost and buried by adulthood
‘i shan’t cloud your morning’
doesn’t want to lose her innocence
metaphor for the reality that represents childhood hope, and doesn’t wish to spoil the innocence
she is trying to preserve these beautiful memories
‘i have fears enough for us both’
adult fears differ from childhood fears - the former involve terror of illness and death and responsibility
a child’s may just be a dark lane that represents an uncertain future
’ i leave you in an ecstasy of concentration’
spatial and temporal deixis
into something
youth is like a drug – full of wonders
melancholy at the end — the speaker is content in her reflection of the past which she is ready to leave behind
‘taste it on your tongue’
curiosity and innocence
the injury represents future flawed life
the first ‘injury’ of adulthood - the precursor of the later injuries
headlines
we lose the excitement in life as we get older
we don’t recognise our younger self
the innocence in childhood
experience breeds fear
the loss of innocence is inevitable
we often reflect on out past
sadness felt with childhood nostalgia
dreams of childhood become less realistic when we enter adulthood
the future seems to have more opportunities when we’re young
