The Self

Question 1

One cannot not communicate b/c communication is?

Answer 1

1. It is INESCAPABLE
2. Must be INTENTIONAL
3. Is always CONSTRUCTING

Question 2

When we communicate:
Are we sharing with others who we are?
Are we using our sharing c/ others to produce who we are?

Answer 2

The answer is YES.

Question 3

Who are we?

Answer 3

1.Are you something that is fixed and you need to discover?
2. Or are you something that is always in process and a state of becoming? This is more ontological. Can think in a transaction (constructing our identity) & transmission( passing info.) perspective.

Question 4

Three Propositions…

Answer 4

1. Our “self” is a construct in constant flux.
2. We relate to others based on our notion of “self”
3. Our “self” is negotiated through & in our environment (including our relating to others)

Question 5

As followers of Christ, we are being constructed:

Answer 5

We are not fixed. We spend our lives in a process to be more Christ-like. The goal in life is to become more like him. Find out who he is & be like him.

Question 6

What is our responsibility as followers of Christ?

Answer 6

To allow the spirit to perpetually remake us in the image of Christ. Who I am is sinful, dirty, etc. We must seek Christ.

Question 7

It is NOT primarily a matter of communicating to others who we are…

Answer 7

Rather, we are constructing who we are. We have a responsibility in terms of who we are. I create what “I” mean (self image).

Question 8

What is communication?

Answer 8

The process of creating and sharing meaning through the use of symbols

Question 9

What comes first my words or my identity?

Answer 9

Both are perpetually impacting one another. It is a chicken & egg scenario. Both consistently feed one another.

Question 10

Our relationships to others allow us to build & understand ourselves:

Answer 10

As communication is always constructing, one of the primary things we construct is us. (through our relationships with others). All the time we communicate, we construct who we are.

Question 11

Transmission Communication:

Answer 11

It is about telling other people who we are, what we think, what we believe, etc.

Question 12

Transaction Communication:

Answer 12

It is about creating (ideally through intentional commitment) who we are, what we think, what we believe, etc. Be mindful of communication.

Question 13

What is perception?

Answer 13

The process of selecting, organizing, & interpreting information.
1. We have a selection of stimuli that pass through our perceptual filters,
2. Then organized into our existing structures & patterns,
3. Are then interpreted based on previous experiences.
Overall, how we perceive the people & objects around us affects our communication.

Question 14

What are the three steps of perception?

Answer 14

1. Selecting
2. Organization
3. Interpretation

Question 15

What is selecting?

Answer 15

We focus our attention on certain sensory info. We tend to pay attention to info that is salient.

Question 16

What is salience?

Answer 16

The degree to which something attracts our attention in a particular context. The thing attracting our attention can be abstract (like a concept) or concrete (an object).

Question 17

What 3 features does the degree of salience depend on?

Answer 17

1. Visually or aurally stimulating
2. Things that meet our interests & needs
3. Our expectations

Question 18

What is organizing?

Answer 18

We sort & categorize info. that we perceive based on innate & learned cognitive patterns.

Question 19

What are 3 ways we sort things into patterns?

Answer 19

1. Proximity. We think that things that are close together go together.
2. Similarity. We think similar-looking or similar-acting things belong together.
3. Differences. We assume that the item that looks or acts different from the rest doesn’t belong c/the group.

Question 20

What is interpreting?

Answer 20

We assign meaning to our experiences using mental structures known as schemata. This step is much more deliberate compared to the other two

Question 21

What is a Schemata?

Answer 21

Are like databases stored, related info. that we use to interpret new experiences. We can adapt & develop our schemata. Our schemata guides our interactions, providing a script for how to act. Also they are used to interpret other’s behavior & form impressions about who they are as a person. We have a Schemata about individuals, groups, places, & things. These schemata filter our perceptions before, during, & after interactions. As schemata are retrieved from memory they are executed to help us interpret the world around us.

Question 22

We relate to others based on our notion of “self”:

Answer 22

This is the concept of the LOOKING GLASS SELF which explains that we see ourselves reflected in other people’s reactions to us & then form our self concept based on how we believe other people see us.
Why do some of us tell jokes? Because we understand our self as “funny.”
Why do some of us study hard? Because we understand our self as “smart.”

Question 23

But at the same time our notion of ourselves is negotiated through our relating to others:

Answer 23

We NEGOTIATE a sense of our “self” through…
1. Our culture. What does our culture say we are?
2. Our gender. How does our gender influence our sense of self?
2. Our experiences. What does our past tell us?
3. Others communication to us. How do others respond to us?

Question 24

What comes first?
The relationships that give me a sense of who I am or the notions of my “self” I carry with me that allow me to know how to relate to others

Answer 24

It is a chicken & egg scenario. Both inter-flux one another. There are sometimes horse & cart moments. Relationships can change. Keep in mind we don’t come in any relationship c/a blank slate. c/every relationship we bring a sense of self.

Question 25

It is DIALECTIC:

Answer 25

We relate to others fundamentally because it is who we are, and it is a needed context for the production of meaning.
With every interaction, we are building a sense of the self, which we will in turn articulate, perpetuate and alter through our communication. God created us c/potential & c/free will/choice. He did not create us as “This is who you are”.

Question 26

How does Christ relate to this?

Answer 26

We are constructing our sense of self using the building blocks of the words of culture, gender expectations, our experiences and what others think and say.
Are we using Christ’s words, His expectations and His redemptive force as the foundation for this process? We must choose to use Christ words (be INTENTIONAL).

Question 27

What is self-concept?

Answer 27

My relatively stable impression of myself. How I think about myself. Overall what he/she thinks they are.
My self-concept greatly affects how I perceive others, interact c/them & make my own plans for my communication.

Question 28

What is self-esteem?

Answer 28

My feelings of self-worth. How I feel about myself. The judgments & evaluations we make about our self-concept (evaluation of the self). Self-esteem can be fairly fluid & vary greatly depending on external variables.

Question 29

What is self-image?

Answer 29

How I see myself (i.e., body type, cultural values). Self-image is typically reflected in social comparison and is fairly stable over time, yet may change from situation to situation depending on the people you are around

Question 30

What is self Awareness?

Answer 30

How I understand myself in relation to others. This answers: How do I treat others?
Why do I treat people this way?
How do others perceive me?
How do I perceive others’ perception of me?

Question 31

There is a “META” element to self awareness:

Answer 31

People with a high and healthy degree of self awareness tend to know and understand their self concept, esteem and image. Self awareness is critical b/c: Communication must be intentional: Level of self-awareness often represents level of intentionality.

Growth is limited if shortcomings are not perceived.Potential is undermined if strengths are not perceived.

Question 32

What are the Biblical principles of the “self”?

Answer 32

1. We become like those w/ whom we associate. Our “self is processed/constructed by others. We need to be intentional c/whom we associate c
2. Hiding behind a deceitful mask cripples potential for growth. We try to convince others or ourselves that we are better c/these masks. A deceitful mask convinces us that we don’t need help or growth.
3. Choosing to put on “masks” of Christ serves as a catalyst of Christ for transformation. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self c/its practices. Now you put on a new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its creator.
4. What the heart dwells on surfaces in actions & words. If we dwell & reflect on destructive things it will negatively construct ourselves. Vise versa c/dwelling on light, purity, & the father.
5. You are forgiven. God’s grace is sufficient. But now in Christ you who once were far away has now been brought near through the blood of Christ.
6. You are unique & created c/care
7. It is God’s perspective that counts, not people’s perspective. We fear man so much b/c we fear God so little. One fear curses the other. You cannot fear both. Fearing the Lord is the beginning of Wisdom.
8. Our purpose is to honor God. We do that through obedience to His words.

Question 33

What is self presentation?

Answer 33

The process
of strategically concealing or revealing personal information in order to influence others’ perceptions. we try to make a good impression while still
remaining authentic. It helps meet our instrumental, relational, and identity needs. We stand to lose quite a bit if we are caught intentionally misrepresenting ourselves.

Question 34

What is perception checking?

Answer 34

A strategy to help us monitor our reactions to and perceptions about people and
communication.
Internal strategies: Be willing to ask yourself, “What is influencing the perceptions I am making right now?” Being aware of what influences are acting on our perceptions
External Strategies: Can use other people to help verify our perceptions.