The Mamoth Flashcards
Social Survival Mammoth
Our bodies and minds are built to live in a tribe in 50,000BC, which leaves modern humans with a number of unfortunate traits, one of which is a fixation with tribal-style social survival in a world where social survival is no longer a real concept.
keeping your highly insecure Social Survival Mammoth feeling calm and safe takes a lot of work, that’s only one half of your responsibilities…
The mammoth also needs to be fed regularly and robustly—with praise, approval, and the feeling of being on the right side of any social or moral dichotomy.
Sometimes, a mammoth’s focus isn’t on wider society as much as it’s on winning the approval of a Puppet Master in your life. A Puppet Master is a ….
A Puppet Master is a person or group of people whose opinion matters so much to you that they’re essentially running your life, your significant other, or sometimes an alpha member of your group of friends,a person you look up to who you don’t know very well—maybe even a celebrity you’ve never met—or a group of people you hold in especially high regard.
Social Survival Mammoth vs Your Authentic Voice
It knows how you feel deep down about things like money and family and marriage, and it knows which kinds of people, topics of interest, and types of activities you truly enjoy, and which you don’t. Social Survival Mammoth can only think about what others want and like and how you fit
Your AV is also someone the mammoth tends to ignore entirely.
A strong opinion from a confident person in the outside world? The mammoth is all ears. But a passionate plea from your AV is largely dismissed until someone else validates it.
Social Survival Mammoth and decision making
When you don’t know who you are, the only decision-making mechanism you’re left with is the crude and outdated needs and emotions of your mammoth. When it comes to the most personal questions, instead of digging deep into the foggy center of what you really believe in to find clarity, you’ll look to others for the answers. Who you are becomes some blend of the strongest opinions around you.
Losing touch with your Authentic Voice also makes you fragile
because when your identity is built on the approval of others, being criticized or rejected by others really hurts. A bad break-up is painful for everyone, but it stings in a much deeper place for a mammoth-run person than for a person with a strong AV. A strong AV makes a stable core, and after a break-up, that core is still holding firm
Taming the Mammoth
Step 1: Examine Yourself
1) Get to know your Authentic Voice
2) Figure out where the mammoth is hiding
3) Decide where the mammoth needs to be ousted
Step 2: Gather Courage by Internalizing That the Mammoth Has a Low IQ
1) The mammoth’s fears are totally irrational.
2) The mammoth’s efforts are counterproductive.
Step 3: Start Being Yourself
Almost nothing you’re socially scared of is actually scary
Taming the Mammoth. Examine your Authentic Voice
You spend time with a lot of people—which of them do you actually like the most? How do you spend your leisure time, and do you truly enjoy all parts of it? Is there anything you regularly spend money or time on that you don’t feel that comfortable with? How does your gut really feel about your activity and relationship status? What’s your true political opinion? Do you even care? Do you pretend to care about things you don’t just to have an opinion?
Taming the Mammoth 2) Figure out where the mammoth is hiding
most obvious way to find the mammoth is to figure out where your fear is—where are you most susceptible to shame or embarrassment? What parts of your life do you think about and a dreadful, sinking feeling washes over you? Where does the prospect of failure seem like a nightmare?
The second place a mammoth hides is in the way-too-good feelings you get from feeling accepted or on a pedestal over other people.
Are you a serious pleaser at work or in your relationship? Are you terrified of disappointing people and do you choose satisfy them over gratifying yourself? Do you get too excited about being associated with prestigious things or care too much about status? Do you brag more than you should?
A third area the mammoth is present is anywhere you don’t feel comfortable making a decision without “permission” or approval from others.
Do you have opinions you’re regurgitating from someone else’s mouth, which you’re comfortable having now that you know that person has them? When you introduce your new girlfriend or boyfriend to your friends or family for the first time, can those people’s reaction to your new person fundamentally change your feelings for him/her? Is there a Puppet Master in your life? If so, who, and why?
1) The mammoth’s fears are totally irrational
5 things the Mammoth is incorrect about:
1.Everyone is talking about me and my life and just think how much everyone will be talking about it if I do this risky or weird thing.
2. If I try really hard, I can please everyone.
3.Being disapproved of or looked down upon or shit-talked about has real consequences in my life.
4.Really judgy people matter.
5.I’m a bad person if I disappoint or offend the person/people who love me and have invested so much in me.
Being disapproved of or looked down upon or shit-talked about has real consequences in my life.
Anyone who disapproves of who you’re being or what you’re doing isn’t even in the same room with you 99.7% of the time. It’s a classic mammoth mistake to fabricate a vision of future social consequences that is way worse than what actually ends up happening—which is usually nothing at all.
Really judgy people how they function
They’re highly mammoth-controlled and become good friends with and date other judgy people who are also highly mammoth-controlled. One of the primary activities they do together is talk shit about whoever’s not with them—maybe they feel some jealousy, and eye-rolling disapproval helps them flip the script and feel less jealous, or maybe they’re not jealous and use someone as a vehicle for bathing in schadenfreude—but whatever the underlying feeling, the judging serves to feed their hungry mammoth.
