The Addams Family Lines - Fester

Question 1

GOMEZ - Yes! And how do we do this?

Answer 1

By dancing on their graves!

Question 2

CONQUISTADOR ANCESTOR - Hey, it’s locked.

Answer 2

That’s right. We have a problem.

Question 3

WEDNESDAY - His name is Lucas, Lucas Beineke. And - I’m in love.

Answer 3

That’s right. Little Wednesday Addams - that charming, irrepressible bundle of malice who would poison her own brother just for a ride in the ambulance - has grown up and found love.

Question 4

WEDNESDAY - I like the part. about being locked up.

Answer 4

So here’s the deal. Gather around. I’m not letting you back into that crypt until love triumphs.

Question 5

ANCESTORS - But Fest-

Answer 5

Ah.
So who is this Lucas fella? Is he worthy of her? Do they really lover each other? What is love anyway? Does this rash look serious to you? So many questions about love. But when you think about it, is there anything more important?

Question 6

(After Beineke’s “One Normal Night”)
MAL - Come on!

Answer 6

Seems like a nice young man!

Question 7

CONQUISTADOR ANCESTOR - But they’re not right for each other.

Answer 7

What do you mean they’re not right for each other?!
(Goes into song)
Who’s to say?
(Continues singing)

Question 8

ANCESTORS - Ugh!!

Answer 8

Look. The choice is yours. Either you help these kids or you’re stuck here for eternity! So?
(Goes back into song)

Question 9

(In song)
ANCESTORS - Love lets our spirits depart

Answer 9

You got it!
(in song again)

Question 10

GRANDMA - Well then you’re gonna die, honey.

Answer 10

Are you ready for some football?
Fester’s got the ball! He’s running! He’s dodging! Lookit that sumbitch go! He’s on the twenty - he’s rounding third - and touchdown! The crowd goes wild!
(Make crowd roaring noises)

Question 11

GOMEZ - This is my brother, Fester.

Answer 11

(to Alice)
Nice ta meet ya.

Question 12

GOMEZ - All right, go away now.

Answer 12

(with Grandma and Pugsley)
GOODBYE!

Question 13

WEDNESDAY - You say that like it’s a bad thing. It’s just a simple dinner. What could go wrong? Come on.

Answer 13

Aww.
(Go into song)

Question 14

WEDNESDAY - Pass.

Answer 14

Oooh! Oooh!

Question 15

GOMEZ - Yes! Let’s hear from Fester. The Chalice!

Answer 15

I - am in love!

Question 16

EVERYONE - Awww!

Answer 16

You’re probably thinking, what could a fat bald person of no specific sexuality know about love? But I, too, am in love. Fester loves!

Question 17

MORTICIA - Oh, Fester - who is it?

Answer 17

(shyly)
The moon!

Question 18

ALICE - That’s the most beautiful thing I ever heard!

Answer 18

Oh, I haven’t told her yet.

Question 19

EVERYONE - Awww!

Answer 19

Full Disclosure.
(go into song)

Question 20

MAL - (slight monologue) You got a house where there shouldn’t be a house, a zombie for a butler, and a man who’s dating the moon -

Answer 20

Oh, I wouldn’t exactly say we’re dating.

Question 21

(After the song)
WEDNESDAY - STOP!

Answer 21

Never fails. You let nature take its course - chaos. I mean, is this any way to end an act? Actually yes. But it’d be better if the guests couldn’t leave just yet, dontcha think?

Question 22

LUCAS - I can be impulsive! I just need to think about it first!

ANCESTORS (singing) - Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah

Answer 22

There you are: Secrets exposed. Marriages threatened. Delicious anarchy. What happens now? Can this be repaired? Or do you all leave in an hour feeling vaguely depressed? Let’s find out, shall we.

Question 23

ALICE - Mal!
MAL- What?
ALICE - Oh … nothing.

Answer 23

Storm’s passed. Think I’ll get a little moon. Ladies, hello. Yoo hoo, where are you hiding? Are you playing with me, my only one? There you are! Look at her. Lovely, is she not? And so far away. Yes, in matters of love, my dears, distance is your friend. Closeness? No thank you. Quarter of a million miles away - that’s a good distance for romance. We never fight, each waning is a heartbreaking separation… Each Meeting a happy reunion

Question 24

WEDNESDAY - Oh, yes, Lewis. A thousand times yes.
LUCAS - Lucas. Lucas.
WEDNESDAY - Gotcha!

Answer 24

Did you hear that? The boy was willing to die for love. Hard to believe he’s your son.

Question 25

MAL - He was so happy

Answer 25

Remember that? Being happy?

Question 26

MAL - Yeah, what happened?

Answer 26

You’ve turned into an unfeeling, rigid, selfish control freak.

Question 27

MAL - Fester, you’re a wise person. How can I fix this? What do I do?

Answer 27

Don’t worry, it will come to you.

Question 28

MAL - I wasn’t always this way. I was happy-go-lucky once. I told jokes and played the guitar and slept until noon. But then you get a wife and a kid and a mortgage…

Answer 28

Keep Going.

Question 29

MAL - But what do I say?

Answer 29

Just remember how you felt the first time you saw her.

Question 30

GOMEZ (singing) - That even in july the pipes are thick with frost.

Answer 30

Gomez! Gomez! Morticia’s leaving

Question 31

GOMEZ - What?

Answer 31

She’s at the gate with a valise! It’s the end of the family!

Question 32

GOMEZ, MORTICIA, WEDNESDAY, + LURCH (singing) - move toward the darkness and feel

GOMEZ - Fester, Fester - What are you doing?

Answer 32

I’m embracing to unknown! I’m moving toward my darkness!

Question 33

ALICE - excuse me, Fester, but where are you going?

Answer 33

To the moon, Alice.

Answer 34

Pugsley, will you do the honors? I’m coming, my love. Stay full!

Answer 35

Misery!